(click the dots next to the question for which you'd like the answer)
••• What the heck is this anyway?
••• How do you join?
••• Why is the profiling questionnaire so incredibly long?
••• Is there a charge?
••• Where is my user name and password? How do I sign on?
••• Can you mail me my profile?
••• Are men (non-trans, males assigned male at birth) invited to join
Lesbotronic?
••• How long ago were these profiles submitted / are they current?
••• How many women have subscribed from my area?
••• I've been getting "spam" (email you did not request or solicit)
in my box lately. Did Lesbotronic give out my address?
••• Someone contacted me from Lesbotronic and said she got my profile,
but I don't have hers. What should I do?
••• My email address has changed, but I still want to receive matches.
What should I do?
••• How do I change my matching criteria?
••• How exactly are matches determined?
••• Is there a way I can share my photo with other Lesbotronic members?
••• I sent an email to someone whose profile I got from Lesbotronic
and my email bounced. What does that mean?
••• I've emailed some women I heard about via
Lesbotronic and they didn't email me back!
What's up with that?
••• Someone saying they got my profile from Lesbotronic emailed me,
and I think there's a problem with this person (non-trans male
assigned male at birth posing as someone else, they sent me email
I think was rude or too explicit, etc.)
••• What's up with that logo up there?
It doesn't look like something I'd expect on a site by and for lesbians.
••• Why can't you let me be matched from all places you serve
instead of just my zone or country?
Can I somehow do that anyway?
••• Confidentiality Statement
••• Legal Disclamer
What the heck is this anyway? (back)
Lesbotronic wants to help lesbian, bisexual, and trans women who
want to meet other women get acquainted via email . . . for friends,
for lovers, for activity partners, for community, for networking,
for whatever. We will also do other fun stuff, like book recommendations
and Q-and-A's (submitted by members) in our newsletter (if we ever
get around to writing a newsletter, that is, don't hold your breath),
and links to other sites you might like. Finally, we have a chat forum
with free photo upload for personal ad subscribers or any other member
of the community that would like to participate.
How do you join? (back)
You fill out a profile. The way this works is kind of like a personal ad,
except YOU don't have to search OUR database or comb through a
bunch of lists or files, we do matches based on several criteria of
importance then send you profiles that "match" you to your own
email box. The "database" that might pertain to you gets sent TO you,
which will contain the answers other women selected to all the same
questions. You can read them at your leisure, then respond if and
when you choose. The same women you hear about, they get your
profile via email as well. Sounds pretty easy, huh? We hope it will be!
Why is the profiling questionnaire so incredibly long? (back)
Yes, the questionnaire is pretty long, but that's the point!
Our vision was that most women with half a brain in their heads
might be interested in the intellect and lifestyle of a woman they might
meet via the internet. Maybe??? Well, WE thought so! We (the founders
of this site) have met quite a few women via the internet, and think it
offers exciting opportunities to meet women you might not have
otherwise, but really . . . have you READ many personal ads?
We thought most of them out there (internet or other) are incredibly
UN-informative . . . but hey, it's often not the fault of their authors.
Many ways you might place an ad don't allow the space to properly
expound upon your many interesting qualities. And even the venues
that do, well . . . what do you say about yourself when confronted
with a blank screen and blinking cursor? The task of properly describing
oneself to interested parties can be a bit daunting, even for the most
articulate among us. We wanted to help. :) The questionnaire is
intended to be something that will be fun to fill out, and also a way
to help you get to know other women as quickly and easily as possible.
Is there a charge? (back)
No. This site is FREE, FREE, FREE to join! And that doesn't mean free
to join, with later hidden costs. It just really sincerely means free.
You fill out your profile, you get emailed profiles of other women that
meet your specifications, you can email them personally when/if you like.
And, it's free. That's all. Why are we doing this?
Well, it is a personal interest. We (the founders of this site) have met
quite a few women via the internet, and two of us got "married" and
fell in love via meeting on the internet. However, we thought most
personal ad sites out there for lesbian/bisexual/trans women were
lacking in some very important way, so we wanted to
"put something back" by making our own that we felt would meet
(at least our, and hopefully others) needs better.
Where is my user name and password?
How do I sign on? (back)
Nowhere, because you don't have one! The way this works is kind of
like a personal ad, except YOU don't have to repeatedly search
OUR database or comb through a bunch of lists, we do matches
based on several criteria of importance then send you profiles that
"match" you to your own e-mail box, where you can peruse the
responses of other women at your leisure . . . then respond if
and when you choose. The same women get your profile as well.
Sounds pretty easy, huh? We hope it will be!
Again, there is NO USER NAME OR PASSWORD.
Just your email address, which is all you need to get matches
and edit your profile on the updating page.
Can you mail me my profile? (back)
No, sorry! You were emailed your matching preferences and what
you entered in your freetext area when you signed up. You can edit
any of those anytime you like via the site. The rest of the questions
are more personality-based and you really shouldn't need to
change them very often if ever. The profiles are not available
for viewing on the site, but if you really think you need to make a new
one or change anything not in the updating area, just fill submit a
fresh profile, use the same email address you were last using with us,
and it will replace your old profile.
Are males (non-trans, assigned male at birth) invited to
join Lesbotronic? (back)
No, they are not. We like men too, but we wanted to create a
service just for lesbian/bisexual/trans women.
We found lots of other nice places on the internet for men
who wanted to meet women, women who wanted to meet men,
and men who wanted to meet other men.
However, the few places we found for women to meet other women
. . . well . . . we didn't like them so much, for various reasons,
and hoped we could do better. Women who want to meet other
women is our niche, so non-trans men, if you're reading this, please
respect that. There are lots of other places that meet your needs,
trust us on that, and please patronize those sites instead.
HOWEVER, we do allow profiles from women that are part of a couple
involving a man. You can choose to receive profiles from those women,
or not, it's up to you via the choices you make in your own profile.
How long ago were these profiles submitted /
are they current? (back)
We have no expiration date for profiles, we'll keep them as long
as their authors desire. Everyone in our database gets continuous
mail from Lesbotronic as new matches that might interest them
(according to our criteria, described below) arrive. Everyone is allowed
to unsubscribe via the site at any time. In addition, we also delete
profiles from women whose email addresses "bounce"
(are no longer valid) more than once within a two-week period,
if she didn't let us know she needed to change her email address.
How many women have subscribed from my area? (back)
We can't really say how many subscribers we have that might meet
your needs until you fill out a profile and get your matches.
But hey, that is a way to tell, at least on any given day.
New profiles are submitted daily, and matches are based on a larger
number of criteria than just geographic area (complete details below).
I've been getting "spam" (email you did not request or solicit)
in my box lately. Did Lesbotronic give out my address? (back)
As per the guarantee on the questionnaire, we
NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!! give or sell your email address
to any marketing organization . . . or any other organization of any type.
Once again, that would be NEVER! The only people that get your
email address are others who have subscribed to Lesbotronic and
match you according to your criteria. If you are receiving junk mail,
it was (and we solemnly promise) NOT sanctioned or encouraged
by Lesbotronic in any way, shape, or form. We are definitely a
NON-SPAM ENDORSING organization, and we never mail you
anything other than your matches or responses to email questions
you submit to us yourself. We won't violate that promise.
Someone contacted me from Lesbotronic and said she
got MY profile, but I don't have hers.
What should I do? (back)
For each "match" made, we send both parties the other person's profile. So, we actually did send you the profile of your match. Other than not checking your email yet at the email address you were last using with us, there are 2 other possibilities. Please those out, figure out which apply to you, then you can request a resend of all current matches whenever you're ready, if you like. You can do that by replying to an email we've sent you, or by updating your profile here.
1. You didn't have enough space available in your inbox to get the profile, so it bounced. Your profile will be deleted if this happens repeatedly, but there is a short grace period. Obviously we'd recommend checking your email regularly!
2. You had a "spamblocker" active on your email account that blocked/deleted the email we sent you containing the profile of your match. Does this site send spam or share your information in any way with anyone outside this service? NO! But does our email get spamblocked from time to time anyway? Yes, much like any other large site that sends a lot of email in these "spam paranoid" times . . . especially if it contains the word "lesbian."
In order to insure we will be able to get you all your matches and avoid deleting your profile before you tell us to do so due to mistakes made by spamblockers, you really must "whitelist" (also known as Safe Sender List/ Custom Sender List/Allowed Sender List/Address Book/Friends List/Buddy List):
webmistresses@lesbotronic.com
We've found that some spam blockers will allow some but not all of our email to reach you if left to their own devices, so you have to whitelist the email address above to make sure. Some more specific instructions for some popular providers are below. If you're using another email provider and don't already know how to whitelist a sender, we'd recommend finding out directly from them (for this and other things as well).
AOL: The easiest way to is to put the email address above into your Address Book. Click the icon for the Address Book at the top of the toolbar, click Add Contact, then add it. Another way, if you're using the Custom Sender List, is to add our email address to that. Activate the dropdown Mail menu up at the top, select Mail Controls (or click Spam Controls if you're not using the full AOL software but just a web browser), click Custom Sender List, then add the email address to the list of allowed senders. This, of course, only if you're using that list to ALLOW senders. If you're using it to BLOCK senders, adding us to that list obviously wouldn't help at all. In that same area, you also must NOT have checked "Allow mail only from AOL members," or you will NOT get our email. We're not on AOL.
GMAIL: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, add the email address above to your Contacts list (clickable text links on the left).
HOTMAIL: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, add the email address above to your Safe List. Click Contacts on the left clickable toolbar. Under the next list of Contacts Options, click Safe List. Add our email address to that list.
YAHOO: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, add the email address above to your Contact List. Click Addresses on the top toolbar. Then click the Add Contact button, then fill out that screen (only the email address is necessary). Don't forget to click the Save button at the bottom.
ROCKETMAIL: same as Yahoo, directly above
NETSCAPE: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, add the email address above to your Address Book. Click the icon for the Address Book at the top on the toolbar, click Add Contact, then add that email address.
JUNO: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, click the Options button. On the Mail Options screen, click the Safe Lists link. Put the email address above into the "Add Address to Safe List" box and click the Add button.
NETZERO: same as Juno, directly above
EXCITE: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, add the email address above to your Safe List. Click Mail Preferences on the top RIGHT of the tool bar. Under the header, "SPAM Prevention Tools," click "Safe List." Add the email address above into the box under "Add the email address . . . " then click the Add button.
LYCOS: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, add the email address above to your Sender White List. Click Options in the Mail toolbar. Under Mail Preferences click Spam Filters, then click Sender White List. Put it info the box under "Type a single email address . . . " and click the "Add" button.
OPERAMAIL: When signed into your email account on the internet using a web browser, add the email address above to your Inbox Mail Filters. Click Options on the top toolbar. Click Mail Filters. Under Filter Incoming Mail go to your first available filter (Filter 1 if you've not used this feature before). Click the box next to Enable. Select the menus such that If: From equals, then enter the email address above into that box. You can then click Move Up or Move Down (it doesn't really matter) but what does is that you make sure "Then deliver to:" is marked INBOX. Then don't forget to click the Update button at the bottom.
My email address has changed, but I still want to receive matches.
What should I do? (back)
Please edit your profile via the site (button above), and give us both
your OLD email address (the one you originally used to subscribe)
and your NEW one, and we'll change your profile accordingly in our
database. It is important that you provide us with your OLD email
address as well, because that's how we categorize the profiles.
We don't want you to miss out on any new matches!
How do I change my matching criteria? (back)
Via the updating area on the site,
button available in menu above.
How exactly are matches determined? (back)
Here is a detailed description of the geographic criteria on which
we base the matching:
CITY/STATE/AREA/PROVINCE: You have the choice of receiving
profiles submitted by women in your specific city/metro area only,
from the rest of your state/province, or from your larger "zone."
Obviously, the latter option will yield the most matches. Likewise,
other women will only get your profile if they've also said they're
open to hearing from your area. Sorry, we cannot do "custom" areas,
your choices are your specific area (selected on form) only,
that area and the rest of your state/province, or your whole "zone."
Below is a more specific description of the zones as we've defined them,
please make your choices accordingly:
UNITED STATES:
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area I
selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively local,
but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province" you get the
rest of your state. Some states you get the whole state anyway
(Arkansas, Delaware, Hawaii, New Hampshire, North Dakota,
Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont and West Virginia) so in those cases
your matching will be the same as the previous option.If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched
with anyone in your zone, which is described in detail below.U.S. ZONES
Northeast (Michigan, Ohio, Virginia, West Virginia,
Washington D.C., Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire,
Delaware, Massachusetts, Maine, Rhode Island,
Maryland, Connecticut, and Vermont
Southeast (Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia,
Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Kentucky)
Middle Cold (North Dakota, South Dakota, Indiana, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Nebraska, Illinois, and Iowa)
Middle Warm (Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, and
New Mexico)
Northwest (Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming)
Southwest (California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, and Colorado)
Hawaii (just Hawaii)
Alaska (just Alaska)
CANADA:
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively local,
but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province" you get the
rest of your province. Some provinces get the whole thing anyway
(Newfoundland, Northwest Territories, and Yukon) so in those cases
your matching will be the same as the previous option.If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state AND the
rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched with anyone
ANYWHERE IN CANADA.
Just as a reminder, here is how we've divided the provinces:
Alberta (includes Edmonton and Calgary, you can do either or both)
Atlantic Provinces (includes Fredericton, Halifax or Dartmouth, and
Moncton, you can do one of the 3, or all of the 3)
British Columbia (includes Vancouver and Prince George,
you can do either or both)
Manitoba (includes Winnipeg and Brandon, you can do either or both)
Newfoundland (all of Newfoundland is matched as one city)
Northwest Territories (all of Northwest Territories is matched as one city)
Ontario (includes Toronto and Ottawa, you can do either or both)
Quebec (includes Montreal and Quebec, Quebec, you can do either or both)
Saskatchewan (all of Saskatchewan is matched as one city)Yukon (all of Yukon is matched as one city)
AUSTRALIA
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively local,
but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province" you get the
rest of your state. Some states get the whole thing anyway
(South Australia, Tasmania, and Victoria) so in those cases your matching
will be the same as the previous option.If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched with
anyone ANYWHERE IN AUSTRALIA (hope you have a lot of petrol!).Just as a reminder, here is how we've divided the states:
New South Wales (includes Sydney/Newcastle, Grafton, and
Canberra/Wagga Wagga, you can do one of the 3, or all of the 3)
Northern Territory (includes Darwin and Alice Springs,
you can do either or both)
Queensland (includes Brisbane and Rockhampton,
you can do either or both)
South Australia (matched as one city)
Tasmania (matched as one city)
Victoria (matched as one city)
Western Australia (includes Perth and Kalgoorlie-Boulder,
you can do either or both)
NEW ZEALAND
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively
local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province"
you get your city and the rest of your ISLAND
(either the North Island or South Island). If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched
with anyone anywhere in New Zealand.
UK and IRELAND
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively
local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province"
you get your city and the rest of your COUNTRY (all of either Ireland,
Northern Ireland, Northern England, Southern England,
Scotland, or Wales).
Well, except Wales is matched as one city anyway, so Wales is
matched with all of Wales unless residents of Wales pick
the following option . . .If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched
with anyone ANYWHERE in the UK or Ireland (including Ireland,
Northern Ireland, Northern England, Southern England,
Scotland, or Wales).
FRANCE
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches
relatively local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or
province" you get your city and the rest of your "region."
We've divided France into the following regions:
N.E. France (includes Reims and Dijon and surrounding areas)
Paris (including surrounding areas, matched as a city AND a region)
N.W. France (includes Chartres and Rennes and surrounding areas)
S.W. France (includes Bordeaux and Limoges and surrounding areas)
S.E. France (includes Lyon and Marseille and surrounding areas)If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched
with anyone ANYWHERE in France.
GERMANY
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively
local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province"
you get your city and the rest of your "region." We've divided
Germany into the following regions:
N.W. Germany (includes Hamburg, Hannover, Bremen,
Munster and surrounding areas)
N.E. Germany (includes Berlin, Dresden, Leipzig, Magdeburgh
and surrounding areas)
S.W. Germany (includes Cologne, Dusseldorf, Frankfurt,
Kassel, Stuttgart and surrounding areas)
S.E. Germany (includes Munich and Nuremberg and
surrounding areas)If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched
with anyone ANYWHERE in Germany.
SCANDINAVIA (includes Norway, Sweden, Denmark, and Finland)
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area I
selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively
local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province" you get
your city and the rest of your country (ALL of ONE of the following:
Norway, Sweden, Denmark OR Finland). If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state AND
the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched with anyone
ANYWHERE in all of Scandinavia
(Norway, Sweden, Denmark AND Finland).
NETHERLANDS and BELGIUM
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it.
Except Belgium is matched as one city anyway. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively local,
but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province" you get
your city and the rest of your country (ALL of Belgium
(same as above) or ALL of Netherlands (including Amsterdam
and Rotterdam and surrounding areas)). If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state AND
the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched with
anyone ANYWHERE in all of either the Netherlands OR Belgium.
IBERIA PENINSULA
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively
local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province"
you get your city and the rest of your "region." We've divided Iberia Peninsula into the following regions:
Portugal (includes Lisbon, Porto, and surrounding areas)
N.W. Spain (includes Salmanca, Valladolid, and surrounding areas)
N.E. Spain (includes Barcelona, Madrid, Pamplona, Saragossa,
Valencia and surrounding areas)
Southern Spain (includes Cordoba, Malaga, Seville, Toledo
and surrounding areas)If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched
with anyone ANYWHERE on Iberia Peninsula (including ALL OF
Portugal, N.W. Spain, N.E. Spain, and Southern Spain).
ITALY
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area
I selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively
local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province"
you get your city and the rest of your "region." Except Rome
and surrounding areas is matched as both a city and a region,
so Rome gets all of Rome and surrounding areas unless they select
the "zone" option below. We've divided Italy into the following regions:
Northern Italy (includes Bologna, Milan, Turin, Venice, and
surrounding areas)
Central Italy (includes Rome and surrounding areas)
Southern Italy (includes Naples, Palermo, and surrounding areas)If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state
AND the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched
with anyone ANYWHERE in Italy (including Northern Italy, Central Italy
(Rome) and Southern Italy).
CENTRAL EUROPE (including Switzerland, Austria, and the Czech Republic)
If you select, "I only want to hear from women in the urban area I
selected above" you get just that city and/or areas right around it. If you select, "I'd prefer to keep my Lesbotronic matches relatively
local, but I'm open to the other cities in my state or province" you
get your city and the rest of your country (ALL of Switzerland,
ALL of Austria, OR ALL of the Czech Republic). If you select, "I'm open to hearing from women in my state AND
the rest of the women in my zone" you could get matched with anyone
ANYWHERE in Switzerland, Austria OR the Czech Republic.
Age: There are 9 age ranges on the questionnaire.
(18-21, 22-25, 26-31, 32-38, 39-46, 47-55, 56-62, 63-70
and 71-On Golden Pond).
You select your own age range, and then you select the
age ranges that interest you for the women you'd like to meet.
You will be matched only with women that are interested in
your age range, and you theirs.
We cannot do "custom" age ranges.
How would you like to be hooked up?
(That's the ? on the form. You can check as many as you like,
but more options will result in more email.)
The 6 options are:
1) Discreet but sexy
2) Pen pal/E-mail friend
3) Short-term relationship
4) One-night stand
5) Non-sexual activity partner/platonic friend
6) Long-term commitment/marriage/spousal equivalency.
You can select as many or as few as you like, and obviously the
more you select, the more profiles you will receive. You will only
receive profiles from women who have indicated openness to at
least one of the same options you selected.
"While we understand that definitions of sexual orientation
change over time for many, please pick the best description
for you right now:"
(man = non-transgendered male, male assigned male at birth)
1) I consider myself a lesbian. I do not have sex with men
currently, and think it extremely unlikely I will in the future.
2) I am primarily attracted to women, and my serious
relationships are mostly with women. However, I wouldn't
completely rule out a relationship with a man in the future.
3) I consider myself bisexual, and open to the possibility
of a serious, longer-term relationship with a woman OR a man.
It's more about whoever attracts me next than a priority
given to either gender.
4) I'm in a serious relationship with a man, and am looking
for a bisexual woman to be sexually active with both of us.
5) I would like to explore relationship(s) with women,
but I expect my primary relationship to be with a man.
Any relationship(s) with women would be separate
and 'on the side.'
6) Completely polyamorous AND bisexual. I will continue
seeking sexual involvements with BOTH men and women.
I'm happiest when currently involved in multiple relationships
with both genders represented.
You'll be matched accordingly
to what you asked for, and who asked for you (among those
who indicated a preference).
(gender) I am:
1) female (assigned female at birth)
2) female (male to female transsexual/transgender)
3) male (female to male transsexual/transgender)
4) serious gender bender/crossdresser but NOT in the
process of or seriously contemplating full-time transition
You'll be matched accordingly to what you asked for, and
who asked for you (among those who indicated a preference).
(gender preference) I identify as . . .
1) more femme than butch
2) more butch than femme
3) You can call yourself whatever you like as long as
you want to hear from me. (this option results in the most email).
You'll be matched accordingly to what you asked for, and who asked
for you (among those who indicated a preference).
Educationally speaking, I would prefer to only hear from
women who have . . .
1) attended some undergraduate level courses and/or obtained
their Bachelor's.
2) attended some graduate level courses and/or obtained their
Master's or greater.
3) If you're able to fill out this form all by yourself, you're fine by me.
(this option results in more email).
You'll be matched according to what level of education you had
and any preference indicated by yourself and your matches.
I am open to hearing from women currently in another sexual
relationship.
1) Yes. (this option results in more email)
2) No.
If you select no, you won't hear from women who indicated that
they were currently in another sexual relationship on their questionnaire.
I only want to hear from women who are not currently sexually
involved with a man (man = male assigned male at birth).
1) True
2) False (this option results in more email.)
If you say true to this, then you won't get email or profiles from
women who said they were.
Ethnicity:
You can indicate you are open to hearing from any ethnicity,
or pick which ones interest you. You'll be matched according to
what you asked for, and who asked for you
(among those indicating a preference).
We don't do matching on any other criteria, but we hope you'll
enjoy reading all about the other women we match you with
based on the above! Seriously though, while we considered
doing matches more restrictively based on other factors, we
can't pick any others for exclusion/narrowing down that would
consistently please most/all of our subscribers. We understand
that these are probably not the only factors of interest to you
(or else why would we have written such a LONG questionnaire,
right??) but based on the diversity of the community and
the fact that you can always just scroll quickly through any
profiles you receive for factors of particular interest to you,
these are the ones we've selected for now. We also can't do
any "custom" matching other than that described above,
but we sincerely hope you'll still value all the rich information
we intend to provide.
Is there a way I can share my photo with other
Lesbotronic members? (back)
Yes, there is! You'd do that via our forum. Where
there are also complete instructions for posting
your photo:
Lesbotronic Forum
I sent an email to someone whose profile I got from
Lesbotronic and my email bounced.
What does that mean? (back)
We validate all email addresses associated with profiles
before sending those to other subscribers, and we also delete
the profiles of subscribers whose email addresses bounce
"user unknown" or "user ID invalid" or something similar that's
probably permanent IMMEDIATELY. We also delete profiles
of subscribers whose email addresses bounce due to their
mailbox being too full to receive new email, but there's a
sort of "grace period" on that (no more than once in a 2-week
period or repeatedly over 4-6 weeks). This is so folks that
have just gone on vacation or are sick or something like that
and might still come back and be interested in responding will
have a chance to do so . . . but rest assured we don't let
the bouncing go on too long, we will delete those profiles if it
keeps recurring. It is a fine line we're walking here, in that
we DO need to delete the profiles of subscribers that have
truly "left the building" . . . but we don't want to jump the
gun if the person is just temporarily unable to retrieve email.
If you're in a situation where some email you sent bounced,
what you need to do is LOOK at the actual error you got back
from their email server. If the error says something like
"mailbox unavailable" or "mailbox too full" then we'd recommend
you retain your email to that person and try sending it again
in a few days, hopefully they'll come back and clean out their
box and then be able to receive your email. If the
error is "user unknown" or "ID unknown" then it looks like you
are outta luck in terms of getting in touch with that person.
That profile will be deleted from Lesbotronic in the very near
future if it hasn't been already. Sorry that happened, but
sometimes we don't find out an email address has gone invalid
until around the time you do. But, we do our best!
If you get an error back from an email server and you have no idea
what it means, we'd recommend you try sending it again
in a few days.
I've emailed some women I heard about via Lesbotronic
and they didn't email me back!
What's up with that? (back)
While there's just no way we could ever tell you absolutely
why any one person didn't return your contact (that's really
between you and them) we can offer some general suggestions
that will improve your OVERALL response rate:
1. As per the instructions on the forms you filled out to submit
a profile, the more interesting your profile is the more likely it
will be to get a good response.
Put some interesting things about yourself in the freetext area.
Yes, we made the questionnaire pretty lengthy because we wanted
it to be an excellent START in getting to know others, and yes,
we know it can feel awkward for some of you more introverted folk
to type things about yourself.
BUT, when all is said and done, if YOU can't tell someone why
they might want to pick you to correspond with/meet above and
beyond whatever you clicked for the multiple choice questions,
THEY might not be so convinced either. Food for thought!
2. Along the lines of the above, apply that same principle to
the email you send to your matches. Since they already have
your profile that will obviously help, but making that email
interesting too certainly can't hurt (and would probably do the
opposite). Receiving an email saying nothing other than
"Hey, how are you today?" probably wouldn't inspire most
people to think whoever wrote it would be exciting to get
to know, would it?
3. Also with regard to the email you send, while it's obviously up
to you what to title that email, we'd advise putting/leaving
something re: Lesbotronic in there.
If you title it something more generic and the recipient isn't
already familiar with your email address, they might accidentally
delete your email mistaking it for spam. Sad, but most folks are
so frequently the recipient of unwanted/disguised ads these
days it's unfortunately often true.
4. Those looking for dates are advised to submit a photo to
the forum area if they feel comfortable doing so.
5. Try to keep up with the process as much as your time allows.
Use an email address with us that you check regularly, and
respond to profiles that interest you on a regular basis.
While it is the case that most women signing up for Lesbotronic
do stay in the database for awhile and you probably don't need to
RUSH to respond in most cases, it's still probably best to do so
relatively quickly, because you know that person probably isn't
currently on vacation or too busy right now
(if they recently submitted their profile).
Someone who got my profile from Lesbotronic emailed me,
and I think there's a problem with this person
(male (assigned male at birth) posing as someone else,
they sent me email I think was rude or too explicit, etc.)
and/or I told them I wasn't interested and they're
still emailing me. (back)
While it has NOT been our experience in the few years we've been
operating Lesbotronic that idiotic heterosexual men intending to
harass women online are attracted to our service, it has
happened once or twice. We've deleted the profiles in question
and encouraged the man involved to realize he wasn't likely
to get anywhere that would be pleasurable for him with our
subscribers, with the complaints we'd already received serving
amply as evidence of that notion. Really, since there are so
incredibly many internet services that ARE for non-trans
heterosexual men looking for women that might be interested
in them, signing up for one of the few that clearly isn't is
pretty ridiculous if not downright idiotic behavior.
HOWEVER . . . and this is a hard thing to put delicately . . .
what's happened several times more often than the scenario
above is a subscriber to Lesbotronic has complained of some
sort of "harassment" but when we attempted to collect
information about that to determine who might be the harasser,
what might be the appropriate action to take, etc., they
bizarrely seemed to just want us to continue emailing back
and forth but entirely avoided providing us with any relevant
information despite repeated and very specific requests on our part.
We ultimately ended up concluding some of these "reports"
were fabricated and the "harassees" were actually motivated
to have someone from Lesbotronic paying attention to/corresponding
with them for whatever odd reason, and falsely reporting
"harassment"was the inappropriate method they chose to
get that attention.A couple of these we ultimately suspected
weren't who THEY said they were on their profiles (probably
heterosexual men desperately in need of some constructive hobbies).
Ultimately, WE have been the ones harassed more than anyone else! So . . . if you have been getting email from another subscriber that you feel is inappropriate, you should still report it to us, but please keep all of the following in mind and consider your report accordingly.
We sincerely don't mean to be rude if you were somehow
harassed, but we'd ask you respect our time and our position as well.
We're not interested in anonymous reports of unverifiable
or otherwise vague harassment allegedly perpetrated
by anonymous other people.
We need the email address you were last using with Lesbotronic,
the email address used on the profile of the person bothering you,
at least one copy of some of the troubling email in question
COMPLETE WITH SOURCE/INTERNET HEADERS
(this means you'll need to forward it to us, not just paste a copy
of it in your message field), and a clear idea about why
this communication was troubling and unsolicited by yourself.
If you're not willing to immediately provide us with these things,
we are not going to be able to take you seriously or continue responding.With Lesbotronic as with almost everything else in life, the ultimate
decision about how to use our service, with whom to meet,
where/how to meet them, how much personal information to divulge
and when is UP TO YOU. Favoring profiles that contained more
and more sincere-sounding information in the freetext area,
exchanging email for a period of time before meeting and judging
the amount of information and its sincerity in those emails,
a phone conversation before meeting, and meeting in a public place
for the first time and/or bringing a friend are all excellent ideas.
Using your common sense and respecting your intuition are excellent
ideas as well. If you begin to suspect there is something flaky or
dishonest about someone, you're probably right.
Respect that, and move on.
The best response to someone harassing you via email is not to
fire back several angry responses of your own, but to
stop responding entirely.
People with time to spend harassing other people want you
to validate them by returning their attentions, even if you do so
negatively. Resist the urge to respond and they'll get bored and
move on, probably a lot more quickly than you might imagine. If you convince us a subscriber to Lesbotronic is harassing you
we WILL delete their profile and possibly report them to their
internet service providers, and you will have done a service
for the Lesbotronic community for which we will be grateful.
However, any other action is up to you. We are not law enforcement.
If you think some sort of law enforcement might be necessary
in your case then that's who you need to contact.
What's up with that logo up there?
It doesn't look like something I'd expect on a site by
and for lesbians. (back)
We know that logo (the one up at the top inside the circular
graphic) looks somewhat like a Playboy bunny-inspired redneck
trucker's mudflap, but we thought using something like that for a
website by and for lesbians (but not males assigned male at birth)
would be pretty damn funny. We know this image and others like it
were designed by misogynist males that wanted to demean, patronize,
or otherwise just keep women "in their place." We intend it as a
somewhat sarcastic and completely ironic reclamation of the image
that will unplug the power of the thing to be hurtful. Symbols or
words can be employed in small-minded attempts to put down or
otherwise just plain annoy women - but ultimately only succeed in
doing so when women take any associated negative implications
seriously and internalize them instead of "taking them back"
and/or just laughing our asses off at the sorry losers that tried it.
We're definitely laughing. We hope you will too.
While positive examples of reclaiming similar words and images
abound in feminist publications around the world, here are a couple
of our favorites that inspired us:
The word BITCH: (see Bitch magazine as an example)
http://www.bitchmagazine.com
and the word CUNT: (see the book by Inga Muscio, here described
on amazon.com. cut and paste the whole link if it doesn't click)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580050158/
ref=ase_lesbotrforthe-20/104-5687693-0601503
Why can't you let me be matched from all places you serve
instead of just my zone or country?
Can I somehow do that anyway? (back)
Well, we did allow folks to check off something akin to "everywhere"
on their profiles a while ago. And it went EXTREMELY BADLY.
While many may have done it in good faith, it seemed that the
vast majority of women that checked that option on their profiles
really didn't comprehend what that might mean in terms of the
number of matches they'd get and/or the amount of email they'd get
from our service and/or other subscribers. Despite the fact we put a
BIG WARNING next to that option on the questionnaire (similar to
the one we now have for "whole zone" matching), we still got a
lot of complaints from women that either didn't expect so many
matches anyway or didn't bother to read the questionnaire carefully
before signing up. Some of them complained that we overfilled
their email boxes, and other women that signed up for that didn't
actually complain, but immediately unsubscribed after their first
set of matches (which we take as an implied complaint). So,
we don't offer that anymore for one email address. Even if they
think it might, an "all places" option really doesn't work for most folks
. . . there's just not enough time in the day to read and respond
and/or enough email space for most.
HOWEVER, if you are absolutely CERTAIN you'd like to hear from
other women outside your zone, you can fill out another profile
using ANOTHER (meaning NOT THE SAME ONE) email address,
and we will process that. We require the additional email address
for 2 reasons:
1) It's a sign of your sincerity that you really would like to
hear from women outside your zone and
2) It represents a greater probability that you'll actually have
enough space in your email boxes to accomodate extra matches,
because if you don't, there's just no point in sending them.
If you fill out another profile using the same email address but
with a different geography, it will replace your old one,
so an additional and different email address is the only way
to accomplish simultaneous matching in multiple geographic zones.
You would need to use an additional email address
and an additional complete profile for EACH new additional geographic
zone for which you'd like to be simultaneously matched.
While we are advising the use of additional email addresses
as a way around our "zone" restriction, we would ask that you
be considerate of other members if you choose to employ it.
Meaning, please don't waste the time or try the patience of other
members by signing up for any geographic area that you don't
have the intention and means of visiting in the near future,
unless you sign up for that area with "pen pal" only as your
relationship option. And again, any additional email addresses
you use with Lesbotronic will be verified before processing and then
need to be checked regularly or the profile associated with it
will be deleted due to email bounce.
What we're really saying here, in reality and given our experience,
MOST subscribers don't REALLY need or want to receive matches
substantially outside their geographic area. Similarly, MOST
subscribers don't usually want to hear from others outside theirs.
We know there are exceptions to this rule (extremely frequent
travelers, women that whatever reason regularly spend parts
of each year in two or more distant places) and for this reason
we've decided to accommodate those that do. We've made this
option a bit more difficult on purpose, for the sake of the service
overall, other subscribers, and the sake of those that might employ it.
If you decide to subscribe to multiple zones please take
the preceding into consideration and behave wisely
for your own sake and considerately for the sake of others.
Confidentiality Statement (back)
The information we gather will only be used for the purpose of
social matching via this service. It will neither be shared nor sold
to anyone outside of Lesbotronic under any circumstances.
Participation will not lead to junk mail, spam, or unsolicited
advertising in your e-mailbox or via any other means.
Legal Disclamer (back)
When you use Lesbotronic, you understand and acknowledge
that it is strictly informational in nature. We can't guarantee
the accuracy of the information provided, endorse or recommend
specific clients, or accept responsibility or liability for any events
arising from the use of this service. The information we provide
is certainly intended to enhance your social and romantic life.
However, as with most things in life, the ultimate decision about
what to do and with who is up to YOU.
Please conduct yourself with normal caution and
good common sense, in this and in the rest of your endeavors.
GOOD LUCK!
