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Website Problem?

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  • Members
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Hello everyone! I just tried to sign up on the main page of the website, but when I clicked the submit button...nothing came up. I'm wondering if it is my browser, or if there is a problem with the site that anyone knows about?

I'm looking forward to joining, but it won't let me submit my profile. Grrr!
"Minds are like parachutes - they only work when open."



  • Administrators
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Your profile has in fact been received . . . if you can be more specific about your problem, what exactly didn't seem like it was working, and then as with any website problem report we'd also need your OS, browser, and browser version.

Ms. Valentine

  • Posting Members (3 or more)
  • 5 posts
I have something that I don't know if it's website related or not. Every time I try to change my profile from saying that I'm interested in butch or femme it reverts back to both. But I'm not. I want it to be more femme. and I just checked my profile and everything is reset. Why?? and my password doesn't work half of the time?

Ms. Valentine

  • Posting Members (3 or more)
  • 5 posts
I will say that I signed out and back in, that seemed to fix the profile, but I'm still not able to reset the "the whole spectrum thing"



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It's really best to ask questions that are related to a problem that you may be having with just your own personal profile via email. It's not really a general interest board thing.

But since you asked here, I'll go ahead and answer. First, provided the site is up (and we haven't had any outages lately), I'm afraid there's simply no logical reason your entrance key should work at all, but only half of the time. It's much more likely that you're either not entering it accurately half of the time, and/or you're using a browser that's not sufficient half of the time.

So as per your welcome email, we'd recommend using a good browser, then BOOKMARKING your Automatic Log In Link in that browser. Then you can just one click your way in. That's a very easy way to make it work 100% of the time.

Second, as for not being able to select "more femme" for your search options for your profile, that's because you selected "I refuse to identify with these restrictive labels; the butch/femme paradigm doesn't work for me" for yourself.

Here in the FAQ:


. . . we cover this under the Search Options questions. I'll go ahead and quote the relevant section for you:

"Members select their own gender expression, and then the gender expression(s) they'd like to see for others in their search results in terms of:
-more femme
-more butch
-I'm open to the whole spectrum. (this option represents no exclusion on this variable)

Your search results will only contain those within the gender expressions(s) you selected. In addition, those in your search results must have stated openness to hearing those with your gender expression as well.

(HOWEVER: If someone selects, "I refuse to identify with these restrictive labels . . . " or "I have no idea," they are disallowed the opportunity to restrict on that variable in terms of their own search options. That would be because we feel it doesn't make a lot of sense for anyone to claim indifference to and/or proclaim a philosophical rejection of the butch/femme continuum for themselves . . . yet then simultaneously insist on deference to and/or self-identification on that same criteria for anyone they might like to meet.

And then in case that last "HOWEVER" sounded like we were inherently disapproving of those that reject the butch/femme continuum . . . or suggesting that you need to identify as either butch or femme to get along here and meet lots of other members . . . we are NOT, and we're NOT. We're just suggesting that you should remain philosophically consistent, and that anything less will look like metaphorical spinach in your internet teeth.

Before we enacted this exception, we received a LOT of profiles from women that refused to identify along the butch/femme continuum because it was too restrictive for THEM . . . then ALSO insisted they'd only like to meet femme women. (And no, for some reason, it was never butch women.) We're giving them the benefit of the doubt via our imagination that they didn't notice their profiles were inherently offensive to those VERY same women they were hoping to attract.

Meaning, if a particular queer woman identifies as femme, she might be open to meeting a lot of other women that identify in various DIFFERENT ways along that same continuum. Maybe butch, maybe other femmes, maybe andro, maybe she's just totally open-minded. But SHE still identifies as FEMME, and she TOLD YOU THAT in her profile. So that obviously means SOMETHING to HER.

You shouldn't think you should denigrate, disparage, or otherwise "poo poo" her identity as femme . . . or that you should belittle her identity as a person along the continuum of butch/femme as being something you're somehow above or beyond or just plain indifferent toward . . . then reasonably expect her to like YOU somehow otherwise or anyway.

(Because that wouldn't make sense, would it?)"

. . .

OK? Hope that helps.

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