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My Closet


8 replies to this topic

#1
garbage7

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I am in the closet with in the closet that lies behind a padlocked door which upon being opened will trigger a nuclear bomb. and I have told my self not to be gay soooo much that I am not sure where I put the damn key anyways...so if any one can help my find my key or can difuse a bomb that would be GREAT!

#2
ThisTragicGirl

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So what your saying is you need to get laid by a hot chick?

#3
CymbalGirl

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Symbolism confuses me. I like literalness. Is that a word?
Drummers do it better...in Rhythm

#4
Nailbunny

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I guess what you have to ask yourself garbage, is why you are afraid and who's reaction are you afraid of the most. If you dont live with your parents, pay your own bills, and generally take care of yourself, why be afraid to tell them? They may be upset at first or maybe even for a long time, but eventually they will come to terms with what they cannot change.

If its friends your worried about, if you think that they would severe the ties, then I guess there werent really your friend in the first place were they? Work places are a little diffrent since its your source of income and how you support yourself. But then again its really none of their business what your sexuality is. Nobody at my job knows that Im gay, but noone has asked me either, if they did I would be honest since I see no reason to lie about it.

Basically by keeping yourself "in the closet" your selling yourself short. You are the one that has to live with you for the rest of your life, so do what its takes to be the happiest you can be before you no longer exist on this earth.
The dumber people think you are, the more suprised they'll be when you kill them....

#5
garbage7

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Yes you're right friends that don't stick by aren't worth it anyways. I just have been so used to living this straight lie for 18 years that I don't know what to do next. I don't feel it is anyones business and don't feel I will ever have to broadcast my sexuallity publicly. I want to get to the point where when it comes up it comes up and I can be honest. This weekend however was a breakthrough for me and I came out of the closet for a short supervised trip. Thanks for the help.

As for needing to get laid, hey I have waited my whole life what's a little more time. Also I don't like to do stuff with people unless it really means something and there are honest feelings there.

#6
psyla

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Well, All I can really say is I know exactly what you mean about the whole cement lined closet with padlocks and nuclear bombs. I'm not exactly the most outgoing type and I really just would rather not deal with it but the truth of the matter is that I'm attracted to women, as well as men. Plain and simple.

I went out on a huge limb by even submitting a profile and posting on this site. (this is my first ever post) A couple of like-minded friends know about this but not enough for me to really learn to adjust to being slightly more "out." (((peeks out of the closet door)))

I can't really tell you how to diffuse the bomb, but what I've found is that sometimes babysteps help. Thats kind of the reason why I signed up for this site. Its a baby step to meet women who wont think I'm wrong for being attracted to women. It might even get me a little further than that.... who knows.

My first kiss was with my best friend in HighSchool... and no we wern't practicing on eachother. She was a lesbian. I didn't know this and well... yea.. long story for a different thread. Ever since I've been attracted to both women and men.

Good luck on diffusing your bomb. I'll let you know the trick if I ever figure out how to diffuse mine.


~Andrea

#7
lain

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i think you should just forget about hiding it\say you are gay\act gay\you will find out who your real friends are\& that is better for you in the long run than having friends who are not really your friends\lain\
life is a jest, & all things show it\i thought so once, but now i know it\john gay\my own epitaph\1720\

#8
phoenix99

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The hardest part about being in the closet, I think, is not being able to be honest about who you like. I do agree you shouldn;t ever have to broadcast your sexuality or anything like that, but honestly, being open about who you are feels so much better.

Now, I'm only out to my parents and a couple friends who live a thousand miles away from me, so I'm no expert. But, once you break the ice, and tell one person, it does get easier to tell others. In fact, it sort of gets to the point where you HAVE to tell more people because it's like a weight lifted off. At least, that is how it is for me. I wish I could be honest in my daily life, but, I can't so I have to settle for telling my family.

It really does help. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do, and whomever you decide to tell.
------------------------------------
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
- Anne Bronte, "The Narrow Way"

#9
sherry41

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The biggest hurdle for my total disclosure issue is handling it with my son. I have created an arbitrary coming out as trans is after he graduates College. Then my becoming female and a lover of women will enormously unburden me from living a double standard. I fully understand that my relationship with my son may become a crisis for him. But I ask myself "when am I entitled to express my real sex if not my genetic sex?' If that also determines that I am lesbian then I am at peace at last". Others in my family and business clients will probably adjust to it better than my own son. That hurts, but in the end who do I have to be true to, really? At age 64 this no small adjustment but I also know that time is not on my side. With all my heart I believe that total honesty will triumph over obstacles and the joy of honesty of self expression will outweigh some unavoidable pain in the readjustment process.
I am intensely caring, compatssionate and creative. I am seeking a similar woman to complement me for a long lasting relationship. Maybe for life.
Sherry





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