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#51
pansexualover

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Hey!
I have only just registered with this site and have read this message board with great interest. I mostly identify as lesbian but have recently, after splitting with my girlfriend, started occassionally sleeping with men. I now identify as pansexual, although I have only told a couple of people as I believe that many of the lesbian friends I have would be totally disgusted - as many of them are total man-haters. I now have a huge problem with the way in which we are forced to take on sexual labels. So much so that my MA dissertation is on the subject of pansexuality. If anyone who has had the same or similar experiences would like to participate in my research then please email and i can conduct a brief email interview.
Many thanks
Rachel
Have faith in the fortune cookie

#52
ravenangel26

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Quote

i'm sure all of this has already been said, or at least something close, but i want to have my say anyway. i'm an 18 year old bisexual in a long term relationship with a man, and while i do want to explore my sexuality with a woman, i tried being with a single woman and, as has been said, it did not work out. she became too close and, while not identifying it as "love", she did not want me to leave, which i will have to once i am married.

however.

i have friends, two women and a man, who are all in a relationship with each other. the man and one of the women are legally married, and the other woman is in a loving, caring relationship with both members of the couple. this, i'm sure, is not terribly common as it would be difficult for most people to handle without much argument and strife. i would just like to throw that out there and say, yes, it is possible for such a relationship to exist.
at the moment i am looking for another woman who is in a committed relationship, or one who is willing to try a relationship with both me and my male counterpart.
i'm sure there are strong opinions on this subject; i know some feel that it's impossible, some feel it would take more maturity than most could handle, and most just say those people are greedy and oversexed. i, however, have seen such a relationship in action and have high hopes for my friends and myself.
on the topic of general bisexuality, i was not at first sexually attracted to women. i had always been more about men, but i knew that i could love women just as strongly and fiercely as i had ever loved a man. then, after years of this, i realized that i was strongly sexually attracted to my best friend. this past fall i realized that i'd been holding myself back, thinking that sex with women was wrong, as i had been brought up to believe.
i am not "having trouble making up my mind" or "not wanting to choose". i love women, and i love men. and i fully believe that people can love more than one person. i do not, however, think that anyone should hurt anyone through bisexuality. if this is causing barriers, but the woman feels unfulfilled with only a man, she should look for another woman with the same sentiments.
and an understanding boyfriend.

-Becca

I have never been around anyone that is in more than one relationship, but i believe it can work if all of the people involved are on the same page about everything. It's definately something that the people involved have to be comfortable with, they can't have jealous personalities or it won't work at all.

#53
Cecily

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I don't see how some one who is lesbian, gay, queer, etc can speak illy of ppl with different sexual preferences, such as bisexuality, or a straight person. I mean up until a few years ago, it wasn't ok to be gay, let alone anything that wasn't straight and monogamous. Gay ppl fought so strong for the right to be who they are. Most take offense to ppl who criticize them for being who they are. How can they, knowing how ppl like them or ppl that are viewed as "different" pass that judgment on to some one in the same boat? I mean I'm fine with the sexuality that anyone chooses, me being bisexual, would feel hypocritical if I said that lesbianism, or being straight was wrong. I dunno it just doesn't make sense to me.

#54
CSIxxTwee

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Quote

I don't see how some one who is lesbian, gay, queer, etc can speak illy of ppl with different sexual preferences, such as bisexuality, or a straight person. I mean up until a few years ago, it wasn't ok to be gay, let alone anything that wasn't straight and monogamous. Gay ppl fought so strong for the right to be who they are. Most take offense to ppl who criticize them for being who they are. How can they, knowing how ppl like them or ppl that are viewed as "different" pass that judgment on to some one in the same boat? I mean I'm fine with the sexuality that anyone chooses, me being bisexual, would feel hypocritical if I said that lesbianism, or being straight was wrong. I dunno it just doesn't make sense to me.

Took the words right out of my mouth. I came out as a bisexual this past September, and I remember the first homosexual person I told (a gay man and a now former roommate) didn't think that we should be classified in similar labels (of which he was all about when talking about people). When I told a lesbian friend of mine, she told me that she hated it when people called themselves bisexual because, to her, it was like they couldn't make up their mind.

#55
RedHeadedAmbition

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See...this is where it gets tricky for me. I like women, I have been physically attracted to some (not all, just like it is with men) for years. I have had one or two short and steamy moments (kissing, couch cuddling) with women, but never sex. Everytime I have met a woman (so far there has only been 3 in my life) that I thought "you know what, we could get together" I have either been in a relationship with a man (never had a serious relationship with a woman due to family/friends views back when I really worried about that) or she wasn't available, or both. One woman I swore I was ready to move in with, take care of her and her kids and wrap myself around her like a blanket, but she was married to a man and so was I. So we had a brief (and unspoken of) affair which ended with me finally walking away cause I couldn't take it anymore. Fastforward 5 years...divorced for several years from an abusive asshole, living with my boyfriend, son and new baby girl, in a two plus year relationship with the man I hope I can marry someday. But for the first time, I felt comfortable telling someone I was with how I felt about women. It wasn't just some fun and dirty weekend temptation I threatened him with, I actually liked women! He has been fully supportive and we both want to be together no matter what, he is 14 years older than me and doesn't want me to have to give up my desire to be with a woman (or two) and knows that it still makes me slightly uncomfortable because since I allowed myself to admit it, I'm raring to go! I'm finding so much excitement in admitting to myself that its okay, that its hard to contain myself some days. I'm scared to ruin my relationship now, but I don't want to at least give myself the chance to experience what I've wanted to experience for years. The few friends in small circles I have spoken to it about (in a joking manner of course since I wanted their honest opinion) have given me mixed review. Some say go for it, he loves me unconditionally and we are estatically happy, best friends and perfect for each other so why not? Some say I need to pick one side and stick with it, forget about either the women or my man. I don't feel like I can do either. So I can't classify myself as 'bi' because I've never been with a woman, I can't classify myself as 'straight' because I am extremely attracted to women, and I dont' think I could emotionally handle a 3 way relationship, so what do I do? Opinions would be great...but be gentle. I am betty badass with everything in life except this subject. It really gets to me.

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Edited by RedHeadedAmbition, 15 September 2013 - 10:03 AM.


#56
Ceawolf

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anyone ever read that Scifi - vonda mcintyre wrote it I think - five people in a marriage couple of womyn couple of men and one male who had transformed into a sea beastie. Always seemed like the most natural sort of life choices to me even tho I have a downright antipathy for contact with men I'm still fond of some.





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