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Comparison for the bi ladies out there


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#1
Carrie

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I was wondering for the women who have had relationships with both men and women, with whom do you feel more comfortable as far as issue about your body? IE the feeling that you look fat or not pretty or whatever that we all feel from time to time.
My origional thoughts were that women lovers are more forgiving and accepting of flaws because they have similar bodys and struggles, but my str8 friend said that she could never see herself dating a woman because she would feel competitive with her, and compare their bodies all the time.
What do you all think?
"Where are you now? I'm trying to get by with never knowing at all. What is the chance of finding you out there? Or do I have to wait forever?"
~Michelle Branch

#2
pagangoddess26

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I think I would feel more inadequate with a man than a woman. I had the same feelings as you that women lovers would be more forgiving than male lovers.
I don't think female lovers would critique your body . . . though I've never had either a male or female lover before so who am I to say! LMAO
I think I would feel more inadequate with men then I would with women.
Yours, :D
CelticKnot28
~Never discuss politics or religion with friends or family because opinions are like assholes-- everyone has one and everyone thinks everyone else’s stinks.~

#3
Teoria

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I used to ID as bi, but now I ID as Les. In regards to body image, I have always been with people who appreciate my body as it is. Whether or not you are comfortable with your body has more to do with how you feel about yourself. Happiness begins inside. I think your straight friend is someone who already compares herself a lot and is not entirely comfortable in her own skin (even if she appears to be on the outside). I love beautiful things and people (but they must be beautiful on the inside and out). Inner beauty and intelligence are the most important qualities and a definite must (but I tend to date models and the like). This can definitley make you question your own appearance. I remember being very comfortable with how I looked (even though the guy (yes, a guy several years ago) looked fabulous) until he came home one day and announced he got a job as a Calvin Klien model. I didn't even know he was with an agency. Suddenly, I found myself at the gym more than my usual once a day until I realized that I am perfect the way I am and neither man nor woman can change that. I think that as long as you realize the person you are with knew what you looked like b/f they started going out with you and obviously found you attractive so why should you question yourself. Although, I must admit that my first time with a woman I was a tad intimidated and very aware of my body in ways I hadn't been before. So I guess for me, it was easier to be w/ a guy than w/ a woman b/c straight guys don't generally tend to notice more than one or two features. Women tend to pay closer attention to details. Does this help or add to the confusion?
"She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes" -Lord Byron

#4
velinda

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It's so great to see someone bring up this issue! This is a question I've pondered myself for quite some time. I know women by nature are most aesthetically inclined; not to mention more insecure with their own bodies. So I would imagine that it's more likely that a women would be more aware of body flaws. Then again, a woman is probably more likely to be understanding and forgiving emotionally. Perhaps it all balances out in the end... :? I sure hope so anyway!!!

Cheers,
Velinda


#5
dandy_lionness

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Here's my two cents. Women are highly conscious of body image because the media is saturated with images of the accepted ideal. Although there is definitely a market for men, the emphasis is overwhelmingly on women. Sex (more specifically, the female body and the female body pleasing the male) is used to sell men's products. And sex is also used to sell WOMEN'S products. The message to (straight) men is: buy this product and GET a perfect woman. The message to women is: buy this product and BE a perfect woman for a man.

So, that said, I think that it would make sense if the pressure to be perfect for a man were higher. The targetted audience of most beauty commercials is not lesbian women. I tend to feel more at ease and more free to be imperfect with lesbians who pay less attention to social ideals. Of course, we are social creatures and it's impossible not to be influenced to some degree. But, I believe that the expectation is to be perfect in order to please a man, not a woman.


That's Dandy :roll:
What do you mean there's nothing in my Cracker Jack box?

#6
stella breathless

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and this is where i step in..

hey all :) I'm stella and i'm from the chicagoland area----i'm in a queer femme fat burlesque group :) we are breaking down the stereotypes in the queer and mostly the lesbian/bi society---that fat is ok and can be beautiful---ok i'm not the fattest of the group, but i got junk in my trunk and flabby arms---and i'm still beautiful :) i'm happy with my look---whether or not my weight fluctuates or not---i'm sexy and i can see the response from the audience---they embrace my curves because i am an individual---we're all different, some of us have tits, some of us have ass, thighs, more stomach, etc. etc. and life is too short to worry concentrate on only the exterior

i'd hope women would be more accepting of womens bodies---and not buy into the model woman for a man

www.hellcathussies.com

#7
dandy_lionness

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Quote

i'd hope women would be more accepting of womens bodies---and not buy into the model woman for a man

Absolutely! I prefer curves. My ex pointed out to me once that beauty is based on class. Chubby women were once the ideal because the high classes could afford to sit around, eat, and pay others to do all the work. Now, it's the opposite. The rich can afford personal trainers, trips to Cuba, and tanning salons. I'd rather have others wait on me and be curvy. LoL!!!


That's Dandy :roll:
What do you mean there's nothing in my Cracker Jack box?

#8
Guest_Anonymous_*

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I would have to say that feel better around womyn, and I think that has to do with the natural way of things...I always hear womyn, str8, gay and whatever, comment on the beauty of other women....I have never been in the company of 10 men...but I can assure you that men are not talking about their thighs and bumpy bottoms....things are just different with womyn.

#9
Flutterby

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I feel more comfortable around women as well. I don't date men, but I have plenty of male friends and whenever I say something along the lines of "I think I've gained some weight.." they start going off about how I havent. Where as with a woman.. I have faith she'd let me know when I was gaining some as to not let it get out of hand.
Though on the other hand, I've gotten pretty pissed about some of the girls I've dated and their obession with their body image...
Ah well. That didn't make sense. So glad I could help.
xoxo
-Tina

#10
SinCerity

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I am lesbian but in a former life I had relationships with men. Generally, I think there is no difference in how men or women view women's bodies. There are many men that truly do love everything there is to love about women, regardless of shape or size. Conversely, there are many women that have a very narrow view of what constitutes 'beauty' in terms of womanhood. Personally, I find women's bodies beautiful regardless of shape, size, and condition. But the body is simply a wrapping to what lies underneath, which is more important even in a sexual sense. A Porsche without an engine is about as useful as tits on a bull.





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