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older/younger relationships


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#11
BauboBBW

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:D u be preachin'......tell it!!

i'll be 38 on tuesday, and lemme tell y'all....the youth-oriented culture that's being shoved down all our throats sucks big time!

i was going through it a few nites ago....i was out dancing and having a good time when this voice popped into my head that said, "you're too old to be dancing with these young womyn....they won't be attracted to you....if your a lesbian over 35, you might as well get 4 cats....'cos you ain't gettin' no lovin' from nobody soon...."

it's quite sad, 'cos there are some absolutely beautiful "seasoned" womyn of color out here....
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got..." - Janis Joplin

#12
blueyez

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Well i am 31 and i have just recently started dating a lass aged 18 :? i have always had a thing about age difference although she says it doesn't matter. At the beginning of our relationship i pushed her away stating that all i wanted was friendship but i knew i wanted more, i was using the age difference as an excuse not to be with her.I guess i felt that we wouldn't have anything in common although now that we have got together i find we have loads in common and i love her to bits. My other worry is that i have 2 kids my oldest being 11 :? and not that much younger than my g/f.This is when i start to wonder if it is the right thing to do in being with her ? Sometimes i feel she should be out there living it up not stuck with an older (not that i feel old lol ) woman and her kids.In truth i just dont know what to do for the best , i guess only time will tell.

#13
Lise441

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[quote]Well i am 31 and i have just recently started dating a lass aged 18 :? i have always had a thing about age difference although she says it doesn't matter.[/quote]

blueyez, my last gf was 32 and we began dating when I was 18, so I'm kind of familiar with your situation. I think age does matter if you're not comfortable or have not experienced a situation like this before, but if there is no issue and you feel you can love the woman for who she is and not look at her age then you'll be okay.

[quote]At the beginning of our relationship i pushed her away stating that all i wanted was friendship but i knew i wanted more, i was using the age difference as an excuse not to be with her.I guess i felt that we wouldn't have anything in common although now that we have got together i find we have loads in common and i love her to bits.[/quote]

It happens when you're unsure or have had a bad experience with a younger woman. Most people say that younger women are immature, dont know what they want, etc, etc. but for me I've been told that I am very mature for my age which made it easier for older women to communicate and hang out with me. But I'm glad you two have found a common ground :)

[quote]My other worry is that i have 2 kids my oldest being 11 :? and not that much younger than my g/f.This is when i start to wonder if it is the right thing to do in being with her ? Sometimes i feel she should be out there living it up not stuck with an older (not that i feel old lol ) woman and her kids.In truth i just dont know what to do for the best , i guess only time will tell.[/quote]

I believe that if she wanted to be out there w/o you she would make it known but I think she wants to be with you. Go out with her, party it up, and have a good time. You're still young at heart :wink: and I'm sure you can party with the best of them. As far as the concern about your children as long as they respect her and respect who she is in your life you should not have a problem. It also may be helpful because they may feel comfortbable having her around and asking her advice b/c she's close to their age group. You never know it may work out for the entire family :)

[/quote]
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#14
outINtheWOODS

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here's my take on older, wiser and younger. i retired early at 56 so I'm older. I was in a highly technical career field in the airline industry for 30 yrs and totally involved in all aspects of aviation for 40 yrs.
so now I'm retired and able to have an active social life. I've been looking for women my age, but alas they are not as physically active as i am.
and i'm not Martina by any means. i do like being outdoors hiking, biking even walking at a good clip. I'll admit i am a young looking, acting, thinking late 50's woman. i don't want to rob the cradle, but I would like to find someone who can talk technical, be able to hike, bike, or be active outdoors or at least keep up with me.
so i have had to rethink the age group that i fit into. it appears that 40-45 would be about right for activity, but they are usually working or looking for a settled relationship.
I don't want anything long term and like to get up and go 24/7 or when ever the mood strikes.
have any over 55 y.o.'s who are like me had this problem? what age group did you find best suited your needs?
don't mean to say most over 55's are sedate, but being outdoors is more than sitting in the backyard watching the grass grow.
I might be retired but i am not dead.
Also i relocated so all my friends are across the country and i'm trying to find new friends/lovers/buddies.
out in the woods

#15
PetticoatLace

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I am 32 y/o and have dated younger women (around their early 20's or so). I am tired of that though, as I keep finding that most of the women I have dated because of lack of real world experience (time), have a hard time because of what it takes to be in a real relationship. I want someone who has the tools to be able to be able to consider a life partnership. Communication skills, for example, are vital. I also need someone that knows themselves well too. Not someone still unknown to themselves. I would rather now start dating someone older than me in hopes of finding that...

So I am peeking in here. :)

~ PetticoatLace

#16
BlueAngel

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Hi all,

I was googling "attracted to older women".. and came across a link to this page. I'm hoping that I get some feedback because I'm unable to talk to anyone about this since my family and friends are not aware that I am attracted to women, and I've never been in a relationship with a woman myself. I live in a society that is deeply entrenched in conservative values and taking that brave step to pursue a woman petrifies me. It doesn't help that I am painfully shy when it comes to such things.

At the moment I am frustrated and confused by my feelings for a woman who is much much older than I. I am in my late 20's and she will be 60 this year. She's very attractive to me, and looks much younger, so much so that when I found out her real age I was surprised. I've barely spoken a word to her, but I can't stop thinking about her. It's very surreal when we see each other, it's as if we both want to say something to the other but can't for obvious reasons and when she looks at me I get the whole "deer caught in the headlights" experience. I can't explain it but this is a connection I've felt with her since I was in my late teens but only now, a decade later, have these feelings for her resurfaced with a vengeance. I've always sensed her attraction to me and I'm sure it's blatantly obvious to her that I like her yet she has not approached me which probably means that she feels I'm much too young for her. I am a bit embarassed typing this because a part of me thinks it must be wrong to be so drawn to someone who is old enough to be one's mother, yet another part of me can't deny this attraction. She is not the first older woman I've found myself drawn to and I am worried that perhaps my serial attraction to much older women means that I have a mother complex, or I want to be nurtured or.................maybe it doesn't mean anything and I shouldn't stereotype ,,. I feel helpless to do anything about my feelings for her, can anyone relate?

#17
deathpunkfairy

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i think i can relate. i've been attracted to older women since i was probably like seven yrs. old. i've never been with a guy my own age, and most of my friends have been 10 yrs older. a few are 10 yrs younger too. there is nothing wrong with it. nothing at all. if two people can get together and create love in a world full of jerks, the only people who are gonna say anything are just jealous anyway. i have a daughter and it wouldn't stop me from dating an 18 yr old, if she was the right one. but this is probably because i've always felt older than everyone my age. and i feel really old now:) i like older people and i'm not ashamed. and if you like younger people you shouldn't feel any shame either. screw what people say, you aren't gonna live forever, you should make yourself happy!!

#18
BRENNIVINCHICK27

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I PREFER YOUNGER GIRL 18 TO LIKE 25 IM ALMOST 28 SO I CAN IMAGINE WHEN IM ALOT OLDER WHAT A PERV IM GONNA BE LMAO BUT I WOULD NEVER RULE OUT DATING SOMEONE OLDER THEM THO I TRY TO ALWAYS KEEP AN OPEN MIND
*If The Only Possible Way We Can Be Together Is In My Dreams..Then I'll Sleep Forever*

#19
LiliumCorsica

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Quote

Hi all,

I was googling "attracted to older women".. and came across a link to this page. I'm hoping that I get some feedback because I'm unable to talk to anyone about this since my family and friends are not aware that I am attracted to women, and I've never been in a relationship with a woman myself. I live in a society that is deeply entrenched in conservative values and taking that brave step to pursue a woman petrifies me. It doesn't help that I am painfully shy when it comes to such things.

At the moment I am frustrated and confused by my feelings for a woman who is much much older than I. I am in my late 20's and she will be 60 this year. She's very attractive to me, and looks much younger, so much so that when I found out her real age I was surprised. I've barely spoken a word to her, but I can't stop thinking about her. It's very surreal when we see each other, it's as if we both want to say something to the other but can't for obvious reasons and when she looks at me I get the whole "deer caught in the headlights" experience. I can't explain it but this is a connection I've felt with her since I was in my late teens but only now, a decade later, have these feelings for her resurfaced with a vengeance. I've always sensed her attraction to me and I'm sure it's blatantly obvious to her that I like her yet she has not approached me which probably means that she feels I'm much too young for her. I am a bit embarassed typing this because a part of me thinks it must be wrong to be so drawn to someone who is old enough to be one's mother, yet another part of me can't deny this attraction. She is not the first older woman I've found myself drawn to and I am worried that perhaps my serial attraction to much older women means that I have a mother complex, or I want to be nurtured or.................maybe it doesn't mean anything and I shouldn't stereotype ,,. I feel helpless to do anything about my feelings for her, can anyone relate?
I am almost speechless - every single thing that you wrote sounds like it was written by me - EVERYTHING. I completely understand. There are two women that I am drawn to that way right now. With one of them it is the exact same thing - I don't really talk to her much but it's like we have a connection or something, and it gets a little more intense each time - and it's like she wants to say someting but doesn't, and I want to but of course I clam up. And I also just found out that she is much older than I thought, probably mid fifties (I have nothing wrong with this, I usually like women this age) but I am just surprised, and I think she is so beautiful. I don't know what to do about it... I completely understand what you're saying though.

I don't know if it's a mother-complex thing. Perhaps we are just attracted to the maturity that comes with age. That's what I think is a possibility.
It's really hard though, since there are so many reasons why people may think it is wrong, or why neither of us (or you two) would say anything. It's hard... but atleast now I know there's something else who understands!


#20
Willow

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This topic has been an interesting read for me. I'm casually dating someone 10 years my junior..I'm 33, she's 23. I've known her for almost 5 years but we only began an intimate relationship late last year. I have to say dating someone younger has been a great experience for me. But I think it depends on the person. She's a bit wild and as she should be, she's young and wants to be free to do what she wants. I have the same outlook as far as not wanting to be in a committed relationship at this time either...she's brought out the adventurer in me. 5-7 years from now, she's going to make someone a wonderful wife. It could be me or not, but I just hope to still know her then.
BB,
Willow





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