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Telling my mom


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#11
blueyez

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Well today was the day i finally came "out" to my mum and i can't believe how cool she was with it,it is just such a relief to be out in the open now.Oh! i am so happy, now i can live the life i want to and not be afraid :D . Only thing now of course is telling my kids.....but one thing at a time i think. :?

#12
Lise441

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Congratulation :!: That must be a huge weight off your shoulders. I remember the day I came out to my mother. I was so nervous and wanted to run out the front door but before I could utter the words "Mommy, I'm a lesbian" she stopped me and said she always knew I'd turn out to be bisexual or lesbian. I had always known that she was a bisexual and even got to know one of her girlfriends who spent a lot of time with us. Now our relationship is more amazing than it was before. We check out girls together, go to a bar/club when she's in town and just relax and chill like two bestfriends. It's the best feeling in the world--well one of them :wink: but once again congratulations and good luck with telling your children. They love you so it should not be hard for them to accept you. Best Wishes :D
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#13
blacklesbian

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This is an odd topic. I don't know, maybe it's because my mother has not given me a dollar since I was 12, and the fact that my father was never there. I never saw the big deal, with coming out to people who don't mean shit. I guess if you have a tight relationship with your mom, then thats some shit that you need to tell her, before you bring home another girl, but I just have never seen the importance with sharing my sexual escapades with my momma. I'll call to see if she's alive, and I think, that is as far as it goes. It could also be that I'm chickenshit, and I can't get the ovaries to tell my mother whats the deal, *sigh*, oh forget it. :roll:

#14
Lise441

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blacklesbian, I agree with you feelings about only telling people who are important in your life. No one who is not important to me knows about my lesbianism because I feel it's none of their business who I am and who I choose to sleep with. I'm sorry you're not close with your mother, I don't know how it feels because my mother and I are extremely close but if it helps my step-mother is a bitch and I keep my distance from her...
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#15
blacklesbian

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It's all good Lisa, I just believe that sometimes the whole parenting thing is over-rated. Parents are usually the ones who fuck their children up. Think: Natural Born Killers (the movie) and how Oliver Stone kept going back and forth into the lives and childhood of Mickey and Mallory. I know its just a movie, but it speaks volumes. Racism, homophobia, fear, all comes from our first teachers who are our parents. I was working with a bunch of kids a while back and the amazing thing is that children don't understand racism, it's when their parents teach them bullshit, that they grow up to hate the unknown...that is just my opinion.

#16
blacklesbian

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Step-mothers are always bitches, step fathers are worst.

#17
captainjhimmie

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i'm afraid i don't have a coming-out-to-my-mother story, because... well, i haven't. and right now, i don't have a reason to. my mother has always been a "no sex til marriage, don't bash gays but don't like what they do" sort of person. and me... i'm a bisexual, lost-my-virginity-at-15 sort of person.... we get along in most respects, but i really don't see the need to ruin what relationship we have over something that she really doesn't need to know about. if a time comes when she does need to know, i will tell her then.
my father, on the other hand, asked me when i was 13 if my mother had ever "told me how to make sex more fun". til then i had thought sex was a necessary function, not pleasureable in any way (i was very sheltered, and my father left the family when i was 7). when i told my father i wouldn't mind being in a threesome someday, he acted like i was the best thing since sliced bread and said "i wish i'd known girls like you when i was growing up!"
and just now, i came out to him over email.
he'll probably send me presents or something, knowing him. :roll:
i came out to my brother back in december, and he was both not surprised, and supportive. my sister.... we'll see. i'll tell her eventually.

-Becca

#18
alonenow0729

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I cannot come out to either of my parents, although my younger sister knows...my family is...hmmm i call it "super christian" i havent done nething church related for about 2 yrs with them, they kno i hate it...but ive done everything outside of just telling them, and still they live in blistfull ignorance. If i were to tell them....oh..wow...there would be hell to pay for me...lemme tell you...so..what do i do?

alone,

~liz

#19
Lise441

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Liz, ya know you're not obligated to disclose your sexual orientation to your family or anyone, but like most of us you feel you have to. If you're family is not going to accept you for who you are and support your lifestyle and relationships then it's best that you keep your mouth shut about this one although I believe you should be able to be who you are and tell who you want without consequence, but alas we do not live in a perfect world and the people who hurt you the most so happens to be family. Good luck with whatever you decide and I hope all goes well with your family.
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#20
Nienna

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Hi!

I haven´t tell anyone from my family, their moral is so traditional... But my friends know, at least the ones who matter, and anything changed in our relation.

With my friends it was not that I came out ´cause I was never in the closet . I mean, all my life I had been attracted sexually and emotionally to men until I felt something special for a close female friend. It´s just that she appeared to be so amazing to my eyes... She confused me a lot making me believe sometimes that she felt the same and when I told her about my feelings she just kept me far from her (but that´s another long and sad story). The point is that i was deeply depressed (it was something pathological, I couldn´t do a normal life for months, crying when I was walking down the street, not being able to study, to sleep and etc...). And when my friends asked what was wrong I told them what was making me so unhappy. I didn´t tell them before not because I were in the closet. I just wouldn´t had tell them until then if the one who made me cry was a male either.

My mother also noticed that I was not OK and she feared something really wrong happened to me. She even asked if I had drug/alcohol problems, if I was pregnant , if I was raped and all sort of terrible things. I dind´t want my mother to suffer but if she new I was in love with a woman it wouldn´t help a lot. In fact I think she read something she shouldn´t have read (some silly poetry I wrote, the only thing I was capable to do during those days) and she already knows. I would really like her to know but I see no point in that, in case she doesn´t know yet. I mean, now I realise long ago I had vague feelings about another girl, but they were that, vague feelings. I don´t know if I will ever feel something strong for a girl, so I see no point in making my mom suffer (is not her fault, I don´t see her as an intolerant monster, it is the education she had, she raised in a spanish family who were pro Franco´s disctatorship!!)

In case I fall in love again with a girl and just if that girl loves me too, I´ll gladly tell everyone in my family about it , but if that doesn´t happen, is no use causing such a suffering and trouble - I don´t want my father to undergo a heart attack for nothing.

Take care and be happy.





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