Jump to content

Racism within the GLBT community


19 replies to this topic

#11
ilikemeuwill2

  • Members
  • 5 posts
As a Black-American, I know that race is an issue on every path I walk. As a Lesbian I have had those whom the personal matchmaker picked who, based on their profile, where 'obviously' compatible until you got to the the ethnic preference which was 'white/caucasian. So I asked the person if this designation was strictly adhered. Two days later she, politely, said that she was looking for someone who was at home and did not work, but thanks for the inquiry. Was I offended by her? NOPE. Was I disappointed with the matchmaker? You bet.

Racial preference is not necessarily racism. The need for social commonality is an important issue when dating. As American's we really need to examine the institutionality of racism. You practically have to take deprogramming classes to rise above the subtlties of racist consciousnous because we somehow believe that all the negative things are true, at least somewhere on the lower level of consciousness. It is interesting that as Lesbian's within our community we have to deal with racism.

The discrimination within the Black lesbian community is saddest of all. Wish we could have a conference to address these matters. What else can be done?

#12
hikoo

  • Members
  • 1 posts
A couple of my friends and I were having this same discussion a few days ago, and I was wondering if any of you ladies believe that classism is a problem in the GLBT community as well. For example, I've always had a hard time meeting women because many of them think that I'm acting "stuck up" because of the way I speak, dress, etc. This issue has only come up with women in and around my age bracket (21-25).

#13
ilikemeuwill2

  • Members
  • 5 posts
HIKOO

This isn't classest in the pure sense. You are experiencing the old house and field mentality. Those slaves who worked in the field spoke differently (ebonics today) than those in the master's house, (proper English) People will often say, especially those who belong to the dominant culture, that that was hundreds of years ago and we should realize that things are different. There is some truth to that. However, there is also the intense psychological remnants of those hundreds of years ago. Speaking 'proper' English implies that you are trying to be white to those who can't speak english. It is easier to denigrate you than to improve theselves. You have a right to be you, to dress the way you wish and to communicate at the level of your own intellectual ability.

Pay attention to this: ANY ONE WHO DOESN'T GET IT DOESN'T GET YOU!!

Peace and Blessings

#14
remainsuntouched

  • Members
  • 5 posts
Hello to my fellow womyn of color :-) Am I the only Asian in here?

#15
saysun

  • Members
  • 4 posts

Quote

I saw this topic posted in another section and I thought it belonged here because this area seems more appropriate and it may get better responses (who knows). Anyway, has anyone ever been discriminated against in the GLBT community? Many people say that it is alive within the community, yet I think it's like the blind hating the blind. Ladies, what do you think?

Discrimination in the GLBT community? Surely you jest! Of course there's racism and every other kind of ism in our communities because after all is said and done, we are only a representative sampling of the larger world. As a lesbian who is part African-American/Catawba/white, and probably a few other racial/ethnic mixes I don't know about, I have experienced massive amounts of racism and intolerance from other lesbians. I have historically dated white women (don't ask me why since they're the ones doing the discriminating) but anyway, I prefer to date white women. However, I have come across a strange phenomena on electronic dating sites. If I sign on and say nothing at all about my ethnic/racial/cultural background, most people go ahead and assume that I'm white and I get loads of responses. However, the moment I send my pic or show up for a date in all my beautiful woman of color glory, I get the cold shoulder and never ever hear from those so-called "enlightened" women again. Now, I know you're probably saying it's a fluke and the cold shoulder thing only happened a couple of times, but that's simply not the case. It's happened over and over and over again in the last six or seven years, so it's quite real. White women want to date their own kind and the ones who date women of color often do so for what they hope is that "Jungle Fever" experience. So yes, racism is alive and healthier than ever in our communities, be those communities located in London (where I currently live) or New York (where I'm originally from ) or Alaska (where I've also lived) or Seattle (yes, I've lived there too), etc.

#16
Lise441

  • Members
  • 162 posts
Wow, you have lived all over, I'm jealous :) ...I can relate to what you're saying about not revealing your racial/ethnic identity to women befoe you meet them then when you do reveal yourself to them they give you the cold shoulder. It's happened to me a time or two, and like you I've always had relationships with White women. In fact the woman I'm currently with and engaged to is White. We met via the internet and she knew my racial/ethnic background up front and never had or has any issues regarding it. She's the kind of person who doesn't see race or color, she sees the personality and gets to know the person inside. If more people took that approach instead of the sufericial one this problem would not be as prominent. It's the closed minded women, who refuse to step outside their box, who are the ones constantly complaining about not finding their soul mates. Free your minds and the rest will follow...
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#17
Ramona

  • Posting Members (3 or more)
  • 40 posts

Quote

I have come across a strange phenomena on electronic dating sites. If I sign on and say nothing at all about my ethnic/racial/cultural background, most people go ahead and assume that I'm white and I get loads of responses. However, the moment I send my pic or show up for a date in all my beautiful woman of color glory, I get the cold shoulder and never ever hear from those so-called "enlightened" women again.

Wow. That really severely sucks, and I'm really sorry about that. Maybe since this is a discussion of race, I should reveal my own, I am "white." I've dated other Caucasian women, Asian women, and Latino women, but I've not dated any woman who identified as Black. It was NOT at all that I was avoiding it, it just didn't happen for me. Actually, I've had a couple of hardcore crushes on two African-American (that is the way THEY identified) butches (also the way they identified) over the last few years, but they didn't return the interest. SO sadly . . . . for ME! One really severely in particular. Man, was she hot. I followed her around for a whole semester, but she just didn't think I was anything special. Damn! That buzz cut, they way she wore her suit and adjusted her tie, the way she strutted around, just tempting all the femmes with that all-knowing walk. . . and then she'd just casually wink and just smile like she knew everything in the whole world. She had a deep voice too. She had a trail of lesbian femmes wandering after her, and I was just one of the crowd.

Oh . . . . well . . . . I didn't win that prize. :(

Quote

I have historically dated white women (don't ask me why since they're the ones doing the discriminating) but anyway, I prefer to date white women.

I guess I'm wondering WHY you prefer to date white women, especially since you do say they are the ones doing that discriminating. I don't feel like I am one of those women doing that, but I guess that's up to you to decide. I don't feel like *I* discriminate against any woman of color, but I am "white." Why in the world would you prefer to date me or someone that looks like me, based on my whiteness? I guess that feels as weird to me as someone suggesting to me that I shouldn't have wanted to date the hot butch I just described above just because she had dark skin. And man, I definitely DID want to date her, and I would have if I could have.

Comments? :)

#18
saysun

  • Members
  • 4 posts
Don't really know why I prefer to date white women except maybe because they are my opposite and they say that opposites attract. I think it's also because I've had horrible experiences with black women, and I am just drawn to asians/latinas/whites, anyone who is different from me and from whom I can learn something. I mean, there are women out there who experience sexism from men but they still date them, yes? It's simply a preference, nothing more, nothing less and it especially has nothing to do with the fact of white skin. That's nuts! I mean, I have dated black women, too and it's been okay, but not my first choice. It's also about a wider cultural issue in that I've always refused to be pigeon-holed because of my race. And, as sad and unfair as it may sound, I find that most white women (not all, mind you) are into many of the same things I'm into: arts, literature, travelling, writing, etc. This is not to say that black women aren't also into these things, but it doesn't seem to be in as great a number. I'm also one of those women of color who's never gotten into the staying stuck in my black identity thing and I don't know many black women who don't spend almost all of their time talking about the black experience, as if there are no other legitimate experiences out there. And being mixed race, well, I guess that feeds the contradiction too, in that I'm Catawba Indian, African American, and rumor has it in the family, I also have a great great great grandfather who was white.

Not sure if any of what I've said makes sense because it does sound stupid that I would be drawn to women who reject me on the basis of my race, doesn't it? But I have gotten rejections from black women who don't think I'm "black enough" so perhaps it's as simple as me looking for women with whom I identify more closely on a social level.

#19
Lise441

  • Members
  • 162 posts
Interesting points, SaySun!

I had an eye opening experience today and in terms of the whole racial classification I think the world would be a better place if we stopped using race to define people, ethnic classification/identification makes more sense, but race is just another box to put people in...

...I went to see my doctor today to basically say goodbye (I'm California bound!!!!!!!!!!) and review my medical records that are going to be released to my new doc, I also wanted to see the results from my genetic counseling labs. My doctor knows I'm multiracial/multiethnic yet my classification says I'm Black only. I freaked a little (I thought the misclassification of who I am ended years ago but it's back), continued to go through my chart and finally asked her why she classified me as being Black. She explained for medical report purposes blah blah blah. So I asked her to then explain how someone who is supposedly 100% Black can carry the traits for sickle cell, tay sachs disease, and cystic fibrosis when two of the disease only effect people of Jewish and European decent? So much for medical statistics being accurate. Of course she didn't have an answer (go figure) :roll: but it just proves how irrelevant race is. The more we distance ourselves from those classifications the closer we'll get to seeing people for who they are internally, not who they are out of 5 categories. Boxes are for objects, not people.
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#20
squeaki t

  • Members
  • 7 posts
I mostly work with and for white people. One day last summer the client walked up to my supervisor and said about me, “She’s very well spoken, she must be educated.” He had no idea what to do with the comment. He later told me and I’ve told a few other people at work. Everyone was surprised and there were a few people I had to explain the comment to. They were surprised that someone would make a comment like that about a black woman in 2006 and that it would come from a gay guy because they’re somehow supposed to be more accepting. My response was he’s white.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users