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1+1 dose not equal 3,4,5,6, .... 10


16 replies to this topic

#11
magpie

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WICKED!

Personally I preffer monogamy for myself, however I can tottaly respect your comments about polyamory. I think most people involved in this forum could support the fact that anything that goes on in a relationship between two adults is cool as long as both are completely aware of the situation.
Why should it be any different in a relationship between more than two people? As long as nobody is being deceived or hurt, I say why the hell not? !!!!!
If someone can deal with the needs of more than one partener at once........WOW I'm in awe :)
magpie

#12
Kayla

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This is something I've been thinking about for the last year (since the end of a 7-year committed relationship).
When my ex and I first separated I began dating a couple people at the same time. I never committed or even indicated committing to anyone for dating. I made my intention clear, and that intention was simply to meet other women and enjoy their company without any demands on anyone's part.

Something I found interesting and even frustrating at times, were several of the women I dated who agreed to dating and enjoying each other while enjoying our personal lives apart as well wanted more after a few dates. They wanted to talk about commitment. I found that I had to explain again and again I was not prepared to enter into another committed relationship. I think we often set ourselves up for hardship and emotional unrest by going from one committed relationship to the next.

Now, before I opened my mind to understand the nature of poly relationships I had a lot of misplaced opinions on the matter. As I have learned more and as I have gotten older the thought of a monogamous relationship seems less and less appealing to me, though I've not closed that door completely.

As it's been said on this thread, these relationships are created (or should be) by consenting adults who have considered all the realities of poly amorous relationships and have made the very personal decision to be a part of such a relationship. If they are happy, and their partners in are happy with the life they've chosen then bravo! If it's not for you don't go there.

I do encourage all people to really learn about alternative lifestyles before making judgments about what they are and even if it's not something you would engage in it's certainly not up to you/us/anyone to make a negative judgment toward people who choose to love in poly relationships. No more than it would be up to you/us/anyone to judge people who want monogamous relationships as boring or closed minded.

It's important to discern the difference between cheating and poly relationships. Cheating is something back handed and unfair because there's someone left out of the loop and a great deal of lying going on as well. It's not this way in the healthy poly relationships that I know of.

Everyone is entitled to live a life that fulfills them and makes them happy, and no one has to do this at the cost of another's happiness. There are a lot of happy monogamous relationships out there too, so don't be discouraged if this is what you seek. I've met a few people who have been together 20 and even 30 years.

Just don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Just my .02 worth 8)

She asked, "What is your greatest fear?"
I answered, "To live a life without passion."

#13
pansexualover

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Hey
Personally I think monogamy is overrated - probably because i have just got out of a supposedly monogomous relationship in which we had both been cheating. At least polyamory is honest, and if you are honest you are less likely to hurt people. I am interested though - of those of you who are in, or have been in polyamourous relationships, have these been exclusively female or have men been involved too? I ask because I am researching pansexuality for my MA dissertation and would love to hear people's experiences - perhaps via an email interview?
Cheers
Rachel
Have faith in the fortune cookie

#14
Cecily

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Whatever floats you're boat is the stance I take on these matters. I do think that openness and honesty are key. As for my relationship preference, I choose polygyny, one man and multiple women. I feel as long as all parties agree, and love one another equally, there is no problem. Its silly to me when ppl say how can a man love more than one woman? I mean if you think that way, then you might as well ask how can a mother love more than one child? It doesn't make sense. I see poly as a major plus to a relationship. I mean as a mother in a "politically correct" monogamous relationship. (one man, one woman). Things can become over bearing. I deal with cooking, cleaning, and every thing in between by myself. I can not wait up til I have another woman to help me out when it comes to maintaining a house hold. I'd love to take a day off from cooking and/or laundry, and know that my family is fed and clothed. It just makes sense to me :wink:

#15
lipstik43s

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I am a biwoman who is married and in love with a man, yet, I desire to share my love with women too. If I sexually desire both why should I limit myself to society's standards of what is right for them is right for me. I think it is interesting that as homosexuals we are not following society's standards of love and sex, yet we have to follow society's ideal to still be associated as normal. I desire a polyamory relationship with my husband and my girlfriend where I am the primary V and my husband is primary SO and my girlfriend is primary SSO. Monogamy is great for some. I feel that what is right for me is right for us and is not limited by society's desire of my love or sexual expression through polyamory.

Kind regards,
Shayna
(lipstik43s)

#16
adrienne.b

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Quote

Hey I agree that one is enough, hell it's hard managing one relationship with all the other shit on my plate so why would I want to add another. I think poly relationships are for people who have more time on their hands than people like me. I'm also the kind of person who believes that if you're in a relationship then the person you're with should be your primary focus because if they're not what the hell are you doing together? I wonder about this a lot as I too have come to realize that more and more women are into poly relationships. I hear women screaming all the time about how they want someone who will love them and them only, I'm in the same boat with them as I would not want to share my mate...maybe I'm listening to the wrong group of women :roll:

I definitely agree about how difficult it can be to manage one relationship. When you're busy with everything else in your life, you can only make so much time for that significant other.

#17
Knitty

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Quote

I feel that what is right for me is right for us and is not limited by society's desire of my love or sexual expression through polyamory.

I completely concur!





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