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#11
kahloeyes

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Hi,

Mortalum, I don't think anyone here thought anyone was trying to make anyone feel bad, none of the posts read that way...

I speak often on issues in a general sense, or to a general audience, to create awareness, provoke thought and mostly, for those who do struggle with issues and so forth, (you never know too who reads these forums, etc).

I think we all struggle with our physical traits, at one time or another, and some more than others. I speak of these issues alot because when I was younger, in my twenties, I was considered 'pretty' by many men, However, over time, like, during first marriage, I gained some weight, and alot of the men I knew prior made comments, very negative...

I didn't really see it then, but over the years, I noticed just how much we are judged by our physical, and it could be anything from weight, hair color, skin color, breast size, etc etc etc...

in our society, women are judged in fragments, everywhere we look its our bust or our legs or our thighs, hair, etc etc etc...

and It DOES effect us...even the strongest women mentally are at times insecure, when I say mentally I am referring to women who know how the media, etc., uses women's bodies, etc., to sell products, and so forth. I have to say that I really started to notice it more the older I got, and also with my daughters. I'll never forget the day one of my daughters said something about being 'fat', she is pencil thin, and at the time was 6 years old. I nearly fell off my chair and I thought, where is she getting that from...well, from Brittany Spears videos actually (it was like the rave then and all the girls her age, well her friends were like Brittany crazy, this was of course in Brittany's beginning albums, etc).

Another time I noticed a paradox was when breastfeeding my children...oh, its fine to walk around in a bikini or top with your breasts falling out, but dare breastfeed an infant, its like, 'ah, how disgusting' or 'oh, can't you cover up', etc etc etc...and one of my friends was with child at the same time I had my second on the breast, and she was like obsessed with her breasts, and sure enough, she had implants done after her child was born...

and much pain afterwards, no nipple sensation at all (like, I just can't imagine that, I would cry, literally, lol) and it cost her $3,000 (these were the saline kind). And you know, the ironic thing is that this great looking man she was so madly in love with, Still screwed around her, even after the modification...its like, we can never be perfect enough...or something like that.

So, over the years I began to study this phenomenom and lately been looking through men's magazines (like Maxim, Stuff) and circling the adds, and mostly, the subtle words that are used, to 'piece' women, etc. After a while, you know its kind of funny because once you've seen so many pictures they all start to look the same...

and I thought today, while all these models/celebrities/women are beautiful, its like, they are all beautiful so how do you judge one against the other (and men do this) and why? And if thats not bad enough, then there is the subtle comments, which I suppose many would simply not see if just browsing the articles/ads but they are there, like one, woman is called 'toots'...

now I don't know about you but if some man called me 'toots' well he'd be picking his teeth off the floor, its like, demeaning I think. And its not that I'm a prude or anything like that, but why is the focus always or almost always, on the physical? Even successful career women and women in intellectual fields feel the pressure to 'prove' to the world that they are sexually desirable, etc (artist Delia Brown spoke on this very thing in one interview, about her art, class and UCLA).

One reason I study the magazines btw, lol, (think I better explain) is that over the past two years I've been working on research about campus 'gang' rape, etc., and the study is partly the link between class/elitism and objectification of women/culture imperialism, in other words, majority of gang rapes on campuses (fraternities, athletics, etc) are Never prosecuted, and rarely if they are, are they found guilty...and that too, is tied into the lack of legal action on behalf of prison rapes (men and women, speaking of gang rapes here) and carry that to the international trafficking which both AI and Human Rights Watch assert is much funded/by tourist dollars/banking, etc...

I know there is a study/book called "The Culture of Rape", can't recall the author, but anyway, when I read about China, and the surgeries there, I think its all linked, and why I speak out on it.

And don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with a little modification if its really beneficial, like breast reduction in women who have back pain, etc...things like that...

and it is a personal choice, I respect that. But I would like to encourage women to really look, at the whole picture, of how we are influenced, how it effects us, etc., and define for themselves who they are, what they want to portray, etc. Not just for themselves, but for us, as women, to take back our bodies, and rather than it be media, commercialism, sexism, etc dictating to us what beauty is...I think, we should say, this is beauty, beauty is us, and beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, heights, color, etc.

Too I don't think we often realize, the extent of some of that influence, how it touches others in nations that are clear across the world...like, for instance in Russia, where teen prostitution is high, black market trafficking, etc...and crimes of violence against women, and you can see, how like the sites that advertise, Russian Brides, (for American men) and they are, of course, sexy, submissive, and anti-feminist, etc...

or the Femicides in Juarez, all beautiful women, young, murdered and raped repeatedly and tortured (over 300 bodies found so far, 1000 missing), I listened to a mother's testimony in October (her daughter was raped by three men and stabbed 23 times), and I listened while she shared her grief, and it was all I could do not to break down listening to her, its one thing to read about these things, its another to actually see face to face a family member of one of the victims. [rumour is these girls are being killed in snuff films, and that big money is tied into it, both on Mexico and US side]

So anyhow, thats why I bring alot of these issues up...not to single anyone out or anything like that...and I especially say something when topics on physical attributes are brought up...because violence against women worldwide (some areas far worse than others) is increasing daily (in fact, the numbers of murders of prostitutes has gone up in this nation and they are not being investigated as they should be)...

I really don't believe the system as it stands will change it (look at the rapes in military/Iraq, yea, they are happening, the dependence on sweat shops, majority of workers women, the diamond trade and the brutal rapes of women in the Congo, that militias are supported financially from, etc etc etc, the rapes in Sudan that gov refuses to do anything about it other than lip service...)

I could go on and on, list evidence and sources, etc., but my point is, (yea I use that phrase alot) is that I don't think its going to change until WOMEN decide, enough is enough, world wide and change it. And I think to do that, we must first begin to change perceptions...or negativity, etc...

there is nothing wrong in celebrating women's beauty, I'm not advocating any sort of anti-cosmetics or anti-feminity, etc., nor am I advocating that all women should be a certain way, etc. all I'm saying is that its time we put the Individual back into the picture and appreciate the Individual beauty, and thats what media, etc., does to women when attempting to 'mold' us into the 'ideal'

it strips us of our individual selves and that beauty that comes from being unique, etc. And besides, women deserve So much more...

as Mao once said, "Women hold up half of the sky" and not only do that hold up half of the sky, they are the rainbow too. (yea corny but something like that...now if only Women Owned the Means of their Production Worldwide, but thats another issue. LOL

Adorable baby in your picture Mortalum, is she or he your child? What a smile!

Kahloeyes
"Both the oppressed classes, women and the immediate producers, must understand that their emancipation will come from themselves. Women will find allies in the better sort of men, But the one has nothing to hope from man as a whole" Eleanor Marx

#12
blacklesbian

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Ok...I didn't intend for everyone to go crazy, but my stats are 5'0, 120..and I sort of like tall girls but in bed, its just weird as hell. Sorry. :oops:

And to you miss lady k, what spaces are you talking about? :wink: I think if we met we'll be forehead to forehead...and other places to other places

#13
Lise441

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Wow. You two (blacklesbian, ladyk) are about the same height as my mother--she's 5'2" 1/2--I actually love her height and think it's cute, but ladyk you are right it's hard for her to reach overhead cabinets. In fact when I'm in town she always asks me to put things up or bring them down for her lol, I just think it's cute. But there is nothing wrong with short women besides I think you two fit in the average so there is actually more women in your height group than in mine.
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#14
Mortalum

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kahloeyes I can only hope to have such a wonderful child such as the one in the picture with me. His name is Austin (he's 15 months) and he is my nephew. His mom is my best friend of about 17 years. We call each other sisters now because we are so close. I would do anything for Austin. When I ride in the backseat with him I always think if we get into a car accident I would throw myself over him to protect him. I never knew of such a love until he came along. I'm sure when I have my own children I will feel this love even stronger. Okay I'll stop there, I can go on and on about him. Thanks for your intresting posts. You're like a well of knowlege that never runs dry. Keep posting :)
May women rule the world. - Kurt Cobain

#15
BauboBBW

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does that count??? :lol:

actually, i'm about 5'7"....5'7" 1/2 on a good day....it doesn't matter whether a womyn is shorter than me or taller....if she's interesting to me, i'll talk to her........
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Don't compromise yourself, you're all you've got..." - Janis Joplin

#16
phoenix99

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Well, I'm a very big person. 5'10 and about 170. So, I'm really tall. It even used to be hard to find a guy taller than me to date. Though now, I enjoy being the taller one in the relationship and wish I were even a couple inches taller.

Plus, I like reaching to high shelves to get things for people :)
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But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
- Anne Bronte, "The Narrow Way"

#17
TheEnchantress

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Its funny you should ask about height. I'm 5'10" and I'm taller than most people I know. I work in retail and I am constantly being asked to reach things for others, or to climb ladders. (I suppose the thought is I can reach without getting near the top step. I dunno) But I've had a hard time finding girls...period. My first girlfriend loved me to death, but would make me feel uncomfortable about my height. I'm sure it wasn't intention, but I'm a full six inches taller than she is.

I find that I am very uncomfortable about my height and my wieght (I'm a BBW) so most times I feel like the jolly green giant. :cry:
If you let little girls play with trucks their sexuality gets all screwed up.

#18
phoenix99

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I feel you on the giant thing.

I remember being 5'8 and 10 years old and everyone calling me "Big Al" It's funny now, but back then I was like EVEYONE GROW! Or else I wanted to shrink.

I think coming out as trans has definitely helped my body issues (at least as far as height goes) because i don't feel like a huge woman anymore, just a regular sized guy.
------------------------------------
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
- Anne Bronte, "The Narrow Way"

#19
truestorm

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i'm tall...5' 7" and have been taller than both of the girlfriends i have had...it is funny, they were more butch than me and it bothered them that I was taller! i find a lot of people don't want to date someone taller than them...i don't get that...why do you have to be the same height? why does the more butch person have to be taller? this is why I really don't get the butch/femme stuff and am trying really hard to avoid people who are looking for that. i just want a relationship based on who i am and who the person is that i am with...i am probably making no sense...
i am also pretty thin and androgynous looking so being tall makes me look like a teenage boy at first glance. if i wear a baseball cap and no makeup i get called sir. it cracks me up...
truestorm
I do not intend to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death.

#20
Belle Soft Stud

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I'm 5' 7" and I've primarily dated women shorter than I - somewhere around 5' to 5' 5".





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