Jump to content

The Nitty Gritty...


11 replies to this topic

#1
blacklesbian

  • Members
  • 32 posts
For the past few days, this topic has been coming up and I wanted to know what other womyn were going through. Within the Lesbian community, there are ALOT of womyn out there who claim to be lesbians, but in actuality have never slept with a womyn.
Being a womyn of color myself, it was hard for me to finally work up the courage to go out, kiss and then f--- a girl, (or make love, or whatever you people call it). I think that this happened to me because there were so many places that limited the amount of womyn that you can have access to that are womyn of color.
I personally am not attracted to white womyn, that is not to say that white womyn are wack. But most of the clubs that are in Brooklyn are geared towards white lesbian womyn. So after a while it was like a womyn-hunt to find the cute Palestian girl, that drove me crazy :wink: . I don't know, I just know that for the most part I like a little butter on my bread (or buns, or crackers or whatever you prefer). Ok, so the question is out there, how many of you womyn of color have actually had sex with another womyn . And no, being highly intoxicated does not count. :roll:

#2
Lise441

  • Members
  • 162 posts

Quote

For the past few days, this topic has been coming up and I wanted to know what other womyn were going through. Within the Lesbian community, there are ALOT of womyn out there who claim to be lesbians, but in actuality have never slept with a womyn.
Being a womyn of color myself, it was hard for me to finally work up the courage to go out, kiss and then fuck a girl, (or make love, or whatever you people call it). I think that this happened to me because there were so many places that limited the amount of womyn that you can have access to that are womyn of color.
I personally am not attracted to white womyn, that is not to say that white womyn are wack. But most of the clubs that are in Brooklyn are geared towards white lesbian womyn. So after a while it was like a womyn-hunt to find the cute Palestian girl, that drove me crazy :wink: . I don't know, I just know that for the most part I like a little butter on my bread (or buns, or crackers or whatever you prefer). Ok, so the question is out there, how many of you womyn of color have actually had sex with another womyn, OR had the pleasure of straping it on and fucking a womyn 8) . And no, being highly intoxicated does not count. :roll:

blacklesbian, I have been sexually active with other womyn since the age of 10 and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon :wink: First in response to your question about womyn who say they're lesbian but have not been with another womyn, it's funny you would pose this because I just had this dicussion with my mother re: bisexual womyn who say they're bi but have never been with another womyn. I really don't know how to think about this one, but I do believe that your awareness is more clear and concrete if you had a sexual encounter with another women, other than that I believe you're just curious until you take that step. Sex is not the only part of lesbianism but come on lets be honest you really can't know until you try, right?

You have the same problem in NY that we have here in Philadelphia. There is no diversity at the gay/lesbian clubs and the crowds at two of the cities hot spots are 90% white, even the GLBT center in the city is predominately white, yet they don't show an interest in bringing about diversity and change. I've had a few friends in NY tell me it's the same problem that club/community center owners refuse to address no matter how many times people complain. I really don't know if there is anything that can be done about this as I highly doubt that a change will come this life time. How do you handle this issue where you are? Does it appear that the clubs are beginning to reach out more to ethnic groups, or is shit still the same?

I don't have a preference in regards to race when it comes to dating, I just want to find the right womyn and if she happens to be white so be it, if not it doesn't change anything, but I do understand you're frustration and hope there is a change soon. Not just in our cities, but all cities.
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#3
blacklesbian

  • Members
  • 32 posts

Quote

How do you handle this issue where you are? Does it appear that the clubs are beginning to reach out more to ethnic groups, or is shit still the same?

Thanks Lisa for your reply. To be honest with you I try not to hang out in clubs to much, because even in New York, you get alot of birds down in club spaces. I have been a DJ for about 3 years now, and it has come to the point, that I have to throw my own parties, the problem is that...at parties that you throw, your friends (who were suppose to bring people) never bring people and you end up dancing with the same cats that you have danced with since the 6th grade. Not only does this get expensive, it gets boring.

I don't know what to do about the lack of resources for womyn of color, I can only put out there that the late great Audre Lorde, insisted that womyn of color who are lesbians need to establish themselves as lesbians and do things for other womyn who have their intrests at heart. Maybe one day, I'll open up a club, sex shop, store, for all of the sistas out there...

As for the womyn to womyn thing, I think that for womyn who have ever slept with men, the transition is VERY differrent than if you have always slept with girls. I feel that way because I didn't know who should make the first move, were some of the questions that were going through my head. The bad thing about my situation now is that I get alot of curious girls hinting at my sexuality...I don't like that feeling to much. Its like I feel that straight girls who are curious want to purge themselves of this curiosity and if they don't like it, they'll go right back to straighty-ville..I was just wondering what other womyn were going through and if they have ever encountered womyn who were 6-month lesbians. Not only is it heart breaking, it sets people up to fail.

#4
blacklesbian

  • Members
  • 32 posts
wait a minute...you said the age of 10?!? :o! Jesus peace, where were your parents? It's just a joke.... :D

#5
monteen

  • Members
  • 31 posts
I am still an untried bi. Actually struggled for a while as to whether I was bi-sexual, or just curious before I actually came out. I didn't want to pretend to be something I really wasn't, or worse, get another's heart involved and break it. I was going to wait and try a sexual encounter with another woman before I decided, but I did a little soul searching, but in the end I realized that this wasn't some heterosexual fetish.

Look at it this way. Do we consider the men who have not been with a woman any less heterosexual than the ones who have (baring the ones who are homosexual, of course)?

#6
blacklesbian

  • Members
  • 32 posts

Quote

Look at it this way. Do we consider the men who have not been with a woman any less heterosexual than the ones who have

Umm...yeah. If I ever even heard of a woman saying that her husband lost his virginity TO A WOMAN on the night that they got married, I would tell that bitch to run...if her husband indeed has been taking it up the doody-hole for his whole life and liking it, that means that he is as day as a bird ...if your gay then your gay, I don't care how much pussy you slide in and out of or how many dudes jackhammered your ass

Damn Monteen, do you have a southern accent, I mean I know that it's Florida and all, but I have this thing for...oh, nevermind. sidetracked.

Druken licks? That is the most funniest thing that I have read on this site. If I think you licked where I think you licked then that means that you have been with a womyn full force, my friend, next time strap it on afterwards :wink:

#7
Lise441

  • Members
  • 162 posts
blacklesbian, I have to agree with you in your response to the question Monteen posed about men.

I know a few womyn here and there who have tried to throw parties to bring about diversity/unity among womyn of all backgrounds and cultures, but like you their efforts fell on deaf ears. I really don't know if there is anything that can be done to bring about diversity :? but I hope something can be done. Any ideas ladies? :roll:
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#8
blacklesbian

  • Members
  • 32 posts
I don't know what can be done but I can say that I offer my gates as a place where womyn can go and just be sane for a little while, I was reading some audre lorde the other day and she was saying that the spaces that she created for her sisterfriends, saved her life and helped her raise her children...now I don't want to have kids but that is always a plus..

#9
Lise441

  • Members
  • 162 posts

Quote

wait a minute...you said the age of 10?!? :o! Jesus peace, where were your parents? It's just a joke.... :D

LOL, well the girl I was involved with was my mother's bestfriend's daughter who was only 2 years older than me so they never thought anything about us spending so much time to together...but then again I do have a bisexual mother so I think she knew, but didn't care...who knows :roll:
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#10
Lauren

  • Members
  • 2 posts

Quote

For the past few days, this topic has been coming up and I wanted to know what other womyn were going through. Within the Lesbian community, there are ALOT of womyn out there who claim to be lesbians, but in actuality have never slept with a womyn.
Being a womyn of color myself, it was hard for me to finally work up the courage to go out, kiss and then fuck a girl, (or make love, or whatever you people call it). I think that this happened to me because there were so many places that limited the amount of womyn that you can have access to that are womyn of color.
I personally am not attracted to white womyn, that is not to say that white womyn are wack. But most of the clubs that are in Brooklyn are geared towards white lesbian womyn. So after a while it was like a womyn-hunt to find the cute Palestian girl, that drove me crazy :wink: . I don't know, I just know that for the most part I like a little butter on my bread (or buns, or crackers or whatever you prefer). Ok, so the question is out there, how many of you womyn of color have actually had sex with another womyn, OR had the pleasure of straping it on and fucking a womyn 8) . And no, being highly intoxicated does not count. :roll:

Hey, its Lauren. i know exactly what you are talking about. I am also a black woman and its hard for me to meet women too.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users