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How to deal with expartner's jealousy


4 replies to this topic

#1
angogwanon

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My partner and I ended a 17 year relationship over a year ago. However, we have remained good friends and still share a house.

However, I am now seeking new relationships and have met someone I want to get to know better. This is the first time I have seen anyone outside of our friends, and she is not handling it well.

She has told me on several occassions that she still loves me. I love her, but I am no longer attracted to her. I need time to explore new people and have new experiences. She says she understands, but I can tell she is upset about me meeting this new woman.

I am not sure what to say to her anymore. Any suggestions?

#2
monteen

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It seems harsh, but maybe you need to end this friendship. Just because she occupied a part of your life doesn't mean she needs to hog ALL of it. Perhaps you two could consider separate living arrangements and/or cutting ties.

#3
Lise441

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I agree with monteen. I think you two should consider moving out and getting your own space. As far as the jealousy issue is concerned I think you should sit her down and explain to her the meaning of friendship and how it relates to you and your future relationships and if she can't abide by the terms of friendship then say so long and wish her well.
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall

#4
Lysandra

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angogwanon, I have a question for you - what would it take for you to maintain this boundary between you and your ex partner?

Good luck :)

#5
Katherine

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I live with my ex. I let her move back in and have regretted it many times and been happy about it many times. I realize it may be difficult to move out from each other, but it is probably best. My ex has been very difficult with one woman I dated but has been better with others. She was protective of me as well as probably many other mixed emotions. I have yet to see how she will be if I get really involved with someone. You do need to set limits and boundaries on what you talk with her about re new people and how she answers the phone and other things.
Katherine





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