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Coming out in the workplace


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#1
Carrie

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What have peoples coming-out experiences been as far as their work?
I'm currently crafting a resume, and one of the organizations I belong to makes my sexuality quite obvious. As I am applying to several conservative companies, I'm inclined to leave the organization off altogether but it shows leaderships skills and whatnot. Any thoughts anyone?
"Where are you now? I'm trying to get by with never knowing at all. What is the chance of finding you out there? Or do I have to wait forever?"
~Michelle Branch

#2
BluLight Jazz

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If your resume list the bulk of your qualities, then by all means- use it. Other than that, I don't think you should voice your sexuality at work or anywhere else. Who you love or sleep with is no one's business. It's personal and especially at work. Even if you were seeing men, why would you ever want any of your business aired for the workforce to see?
Do straight people walk up to others, or apply for jobs and say, "Hi. My name is Lizzy and I sleep with men. I'm as straight as an arrow and I've been seeing Luke for years now. I love him" ? Then why as a community do we always see the need to voice our personal choices and sexual preferences?
I'm Kayln. I happen to be gay. But "gay" is not what makes me. My fears, hopes, aspirations, my personal character, and morality makes me who I am. My history, makeup, and who my parents raised me to be- that's who I am. The fact that I can choose my future, say no, say hell no, and say yes- that's what makes me who I am. I don't have to explain myself or defend who I am- in the workplace or in my life period. You shouldn't either.
Don't hide it necessarily. And leaving it out altogether is hiding. But don't walk up telling your personal business, either.
SoBlu

#3
lesbionic_charged

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Carrie,

Put it on there, girl. If a place of employment would discriminate against you b/c you're gay, you don't wanna work for 'em anyways. I'm not saying you should use work as your own personal soap box and start a Queer Nation. However, straight people freely talk about their relationships and you should feel comfortable doing the same in an appropriate manner.

#4
Roni_the_TS

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Try coming to work for my company: Citicorp. Also, Hewlett-Packard and IBM are g/l/b/t friendly as well. When I told my manager at Citi I was transexual (M2F), she met with HR and less than a week later I was allowed to transition at work. My first day dressed was 31-Oct-2006, and I haven't went back to the drab "male" self since.

#5
whitelder

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I wont put it on my resume, I got my sexuality used against me when I accidently came out at a past place of employment even though their was another lesbian woman their who was well accepted.
The society is too homophobic for me to come out at certain places though I have come out at my new job and the boss being an ex school teacher has seen it all and is not going to use it against me...
Still not a good idea to put it on the resume, its none of anybodies business which side of the sheets you lay on, just yours.

#6
Painted Brumby

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In general, I detest feeling like I have to be in the closet. At heart, I'm really not one to go around introducing myself as gay. "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm gay. What's your sexual orientation?" My sexuality has always been a rather private matter and not a topic for general conversation. And, my sexual orientation certainly does not define who I am in totality. At first, however, I saw no reason to, necessarily, be in the closet. I didn't feel I needed to hide anything. It's just that it wasn't a burning issue, ready to blirt out to anyone who would listen. It wasn't as if I was trying to flaunt my gayness, either. Or, convince myself that it was ok. I've been comfortable with being gay from day one. I joked with my first girlfriend that I was going to rent a blimp and tell the world how happy I was, gay and in love. She seemed a little taken back, at first, afraid that I might actually do something like that.

It wasn't long, though, that I started realizing why people protected themselves by being in the closet. And, I, soon, built one around myself. I lost a lot of friends and family, once they knew. I began to personally hear slurs toward and derogatory jokes about glbt (etc), louder and more clearly then I'd ever heard them before. I heard tragic stories of injuries, abuses and deaths. And, I knew that if an employer want to get rid of me because I was gay, they didn't necessarily have to use that as the reason. I could be wrong, but I get the idea, now, that more and more people are becoming, at least, tolerant towards glbt (etc). Like anything else, unless you experience something, you can't really know what it's like. You can only try and educate yourself by whatever means, if you are willing to do so. So, to that extent I give credit where it's due. All the while, I never forget that there are those who hold hatred in their hearts for glbt (etc) and, given the chance, would make it their business to do harm. It's often said that people fear what they do not know. That may be part of it. In my opinion, some people who commit such crimes mistakenly think that they are judges and at the same time convince themselves that their actions are ok.

I don't think that being in the closet is cowardice. I think it's wise. A gay friend of mine once said that he refused to bow to homophobia. He would rather live his life free and in the open. I think that's the way it should be. But, it's not necessarily safe in many ways.

#7
Nero

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The first time I came out, I never went back. I talk about my personal life with colleagues and it's very hard to hide the fact that I like women. But I've always been accepted. In this new place I work, my boss asked me straight off whether I was a lesbian, just be sure and not talk about cute boys, me not being very interested in that subject anyway.

I guess I've had it pretty easy because I don't care and act strong. I go drinking with the guys to girly bars, which in Cambodia is a bar full of prostitutes. They'll try to get me layed, but it's not in the culture here to be a lesbian, so I never do :D Anyway, you get what I mean. I try to blend in as much as possible, still keeping my identity.

#8
blueagle888

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i had to wait and get the feel of the co-workers i could trust before coming out to them. i'm sorry to say this but sometimes so much GOSSIP surrounds the workplace that it's easy for simple words to get distorted. and i most definitely did not want certain people to be talking about me behind my back and when they face me everything seems okay. i feel like the people i came out at my workplace were the ones who were genuine and true to me. i'm happy to say they love me the way i am.

#9
anauneemous4now

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I recently started working for a new company and I have been very well accepted as an out lesbian. Nothing in my resume points out to my being a lesbian but, when I interviewed with the person I have been working for for the past 6 months, I asked how he felt about diversity in the work place. Since I am a white female, it wasn't hard for him to figure out what I was referring to and I was able, through his positive response, to see that this company would likely be an accepting place. I shared an office with a guy I came out to because we developed a little bit of a friendship despite our many differences and he actually gently pushed me to gradually come out to the rest of our team. I am now fully out at work, something that had never been the case before... I love it! I love being able to complain about a bad date or what some of my friends do that drives me nuts... I feel like a whole person again because I don't have to lie or pretend I am something I am an not!! I guess everybody's situation is different and I would recommend you follow your guts!

#10
michelle36

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I just began a new job a month ago. I'm out to some but not out to others. My previous job (of ten years), I was completely out and had no real troubles, beyond a few ignorant comments here and there. None of these were directed specifically at me, but they were still very unpleasant to hear. I am not ashamed of my sexuality, but, sometimes, I just really don't want to get into it with people I barely know. If it comes up, it comes up. If not, there are plently of other, more superficial, topics to discuss at work.





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