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Getting over a girl you barely knew (help!)


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#1
mevanz

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I was going to just add onto the "first love" thread, but I think my situation is different. Anyway:

I am finally admitting that I'm obsessed with this girl, but the weird (and to me, disturbing) thing is that I hardly know her! She goes to my college and was the first openly gay woman my age that I'd ever met; I was introduced to her at a party at the beginning of the year, which we ended up ditching together to go to her dorm. We stayed up for several hours and all we did was chat about random stuff, but I really enjoyed being with her and it was the first time that I remember feeling genuine "chemistry" with another person.

Unfortunately, I didn't think to ask her for her phone number or even her last name. Two weeks go by - during which time, I was thinking about her often - until we met again, at which even she was polite and friendly, but she blew me off. I was disappointed, of course, but I didn't think I was too phased. Except the next few times I saw her, even if just in passing, I'd experience this sudden onset of inexplicable dread. It was an incredibly annoying reaction and I began to question my emotional stability; there was virtually no history between this girl and myself, yet my reaction to her was as if we'd gone out for years and experienced some horrendous breakup.

Then I met another girl and we dated for about three weeks, and it was really great even though it didn't ultimately work out. Gained lots of experience and self-esteem and such, and I ceased thinking about that first girl. I even stopped to chat with her briefly the next time we ran into each other, and I didn't feel intimidated or insecure or anything.

But a few nights ago, I had a really vivid dream about her and now it's all come flooding back. I can't stop thinking about her and I think I'm in love with her, which makes me feel like a total creep. She knows me well enough to remember my name and exchange bland chitchat, but I'm still practically a stranger; I know if I were her, I'd feel uncomfortable if I ever found out about me. Granted, I have never made any effort to contact her or ask about her - and because of the unhealthy nature of this crush, I intend to keep it that way - so I guess she'll never know, but the mere possibility of disturbing her is deeply unsettling.

Sorry for rambling on, but I wanted to detail the extent of our nonexistent relationship to give a better idea of my problem. I could really use some advice. How do I get over a girl whom I was never even really friends with? How do I stop obsessing? Has anybody else ever had such strong feelings for someone they barely knew?

Thanks for reading... :(

#2
Kierce23

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But, I'm a serial crusher. I know exactly where you're coming from. When I was younger the situations were as devastating for me as this one is for you. I think it's normal to an extent tho. I don't think you're strange or anything. But, yeah, since she's not interested in you it would weird her out to know you feel this way about her.
Pretty sure you're not in love with her though. You're infatuated. Tis not love. I think it's just going to take time. You're not going to go crazy, you're probably going to have a little low self esteem -- regarding why she doesn't feel the same about you. But that's it. Trust me, I prone to this and I'm still alive.
You know what tho, I actually got to the point where when I did develop a crush, I confronted it right away -- I think that's what I mean to say. Before, I'd talk to my friends about it like I was in love, ya know. But whenever I saw the (usually) guy my brain would shut down. But now, it's become more of a 'yeah, you're hot and if I accidentally bump into you and my clothes fall off, cool. But if not, you'll still be hot.' Have I confused you? I mean, don't take it so seriously.
Peace out.

#3
RomanticButch

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I had the same thing happen to me these past two years. I had a huge crush on this girl and I didnt know her at all we had almost the same friends but I never asked about her and now I moved away and I still regret not saying anything to her.





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