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transition b.s.


35 replies to this topic

#11
phoenix99

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I agree with Sailor and not doing the whole "Hi my name is ______ and I'm trans." To me, most people don't need to know. Some people DO want everyone to know, and want to be as out as possible. I say, good on ya, I just would never want that. Although, there does come a point where it needs to be disclosed (potential relationships, etc) and that is the part I'm scared to death about. I'm not on hormones, but when I do begin them and start passing all the time, I know that will be a big worry.

And, I think, most trans people aren't going to be the "norm" for their chosen sex. Too tall, too short, big feet, small feet, etc etc etc to infinity. I know when I start to transition I'll be like, "Stupid hips!" but, I think I'd rather put up with some smaller things like that, and at least feel more comfortable with who I am than live miserable forever.

Rock on for trans people.
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But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
- Anne Bronte, "The Narrow Way"

#12
ashleigh

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i was not trying to state or otherwise imply that i use the 'hi, i am____, i am trans'. what i was trying to say is that i want to make sure that before anything gets carried away too far, that we are both playing from the same sheet of music. i do not want anyone to come back as say that i either lied or otherwise misled them about myself. while the average person has a pretty firm grasp of the obvious, there are times when even captain obvious must explain with small words and pictures. i am also not knocking any hyperfeminine behaviors or roles as i too gravitate towards the housewife role. i havent done this for quite a while, and this is the first place that i have found that felt comfortable enough to try and bounce thoughts around and get feedback. and please, if i am either unclear or making an a$$ out of myself, please say so. thank you all.

#13
phoenix99

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I definitely know you weren't trying to say that you tell everyone you're trans in the first sentence you speak to them. I was just trying to say that there was a difference between being out and letting people know who you are, without being trans being your defining point. And, I don't think any trans person thinks that being trans is their defining point. It sucks that a lot of other people would think so however.

Anyways, I am getting away from what I started out saying. Ashleigh I most definitely wasn't aiming that comment at you or your level of outness. I'm sorry if it did seem that way.
------------------------------------
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
- Anne Bronte, "The Narrow Way"

#14
ashleigh

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no prob. i just didnt want anyone to think i was. i know what i want to say, just dont always say it the way it should be said as far as clarity goes.

#15
ashleigh

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please do not worry about offending me either. you actually have to work pretty hard to do that. like i said, i am trying to sort through a lot of stuff, and any input from anyone besides my cat and dogs would be most helpful.

#16
sherry41

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I have all the skill I need to do my job but I have found that my client relations have improved immeasurably since I am now comming out as Sherry. When I fulley transition I feel the business will not suffer in the least and I will be far happier. Even that I believe will impact my business. Living an inner lie kept me back from living my life to it's fullest. I am so often so joyous in the most mundane of moments. Now I ask myself, "where was the concept of Trans all my life?"
Sherry
I am intensely caring, compatssionate and creative. I am seeking a similar woman to complement me for a long lasting relationship. Maybe for life.
Sherry

#17
ashleigh

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unfortunately, i know where the the concept of 'trans' was all my life. the very first transperson i ever met was back when i was 18. i was pretty much like 'cool, nice to meet you, how are you?' but the concept never really registered as being real in spite of that. in fact, up until nine years ago, trans was still something i read about in the headlines of the weekly world news. maybe i had a serious case of denial, but it never really registered in my head. however, when i finally decided to stop running and hiding from looking inside myself, trans was that missing piece to my puzzle. for myself, it was literally like finding the holy grail.

#18
Tatianna

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I had to giggle though. I tend to "overexplain" everything in my life. It's soooooo important for me to be liked; and yet, as I age I realize that describing myself in terms of my JOB (the first thing I often do) or in terms of my sexuality (often the 2nd) is not fully a description of self or self worth. But yes; I do believe honesty is important in all things. Even with honesty however; there can be some miscommunication & the person of your affections may make a sharp turn away from you and keep on going. So I and my Gf work hard on our communication. It's extra hard since it's often a LDR (long distance relationship). But you are also right in saying that women who work in the trades isn't as rare as it used to be. Thank the Creator for that 'cause my Gf is a woman who can dress up or down; swing her hips and melt the masses, win a "pretty legs" contest or dress down and swing a sledge, frame a room or do just about any construction or home improvement job you can name. Years ago she was a steel worker, too. Some of her co-workers were great; some gave her grief and tried to rape her, but she survived it all. She has incredible upper body strength and gets stares and sometimes outloud comments about "judging her sex" and it's usually fun to see her in action. Sometimes she ignores it, sometimes she just plays w/ them in a teasing manner, sometimes she just lifts up 3 pieces of sub-roofing at a time and walks off in a strut. I figure I've got it made compared to some; the worst thing that's ever happened to me is when a guy was starin' at my chest and ran into a support joist while shoppin' w/ his woman. :lol:
I guess it's hard or easy for everyone; just different pluses & minuses. :idea:
Luckily for me I found someone who really believes in herself - in spite of the constant comments and believes in me; and in the concept of "Us". I hope you all find your "way" and your sig other just as you desire.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the things that take our breath away....... !

When faced w/ two evils; I usually pick the one I haven't tried before. - Mae West

#19
sherry41

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There is so much expression or innere thoughts and feelins that is hard to come by in most of the world. My own genetic family are good people but understand nothing of what I am going through. I feel beautiful acceptance and caring here and that is unfortunately too rare.
About being out: I do believe that it is not something that I wear on my shoulder. People need to know me for my abilities and values. The closer the relationship, the more need for discloser of being in transition and lesbian. Unfortunately the TG part is so FAR less understood and accepted. But the brighter I shine with confidence and self acceptance as a human being, the better I am recieved by the world in general. Anyone that I hoped would be my SO should know all of me. This is where trust begins. And trust is the fundamental building block of any relationship.
And obout" life taking my breath away": It is what makes my life "real". The rest is just "stuff".
I am intensely caring, compatssionate and creative. I am seeking a similar woman to complement me for a long lasting relationship. Maybe for life.
Sherry

#20
Tatianna

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:) Glad you like my quotes; I've got so many of them and it's usually hard to decide which to use, lol. I am glad you feel "the love" here. I know that I've only been here for awhile but in spite of the infrequency of responses; those here seem caring and sincere. I like it here! :D
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the things that take our breath away....... !

When faced w/ two evils; I usually pick the one I haven't tried before. - Mae West





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