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Growing Pains.....*Ouch!


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naturechild2

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Something I wrote once upon a time.....
I have poetry in my heart. I feel it; I think it. I have the reverence of a child within me. I have goodwill toward man, I hurt for anyone who suffers, even my enemies. I want one day to have no enemies. I will forgive those who have hurt me. I will do it for my own heart’s sake. I feel the passionate truth of God being within me and everywhere outside of me. I know I am connected to every other one of His creations; the leaves tumbling in the invisible laughter of a breeze, the acorn tumbling towards earth here and… there. The oak tree in the front yard knows me, the sunset I watch tonight feels my attention, and smiles at me in thanks for noticing.
I have fire in my soul to give this gift of knowing to others; of feeling God and the power He allows us to have. They too, have the Power of it all residing within. If only they knew. If only they could decide to disbelieve anything other.
Please, don’t cry, let me show you how to smile everyday. What words can I say, what power emotions must I touch in you to have you feel your truth? The beauty of the truth, of the co-creator you are with God, the truth of EVERYTHING good being on your side, poised to pour blessings on you every moment, is your truth too. Isn’t that incredible? Too incredible to believe?
Come with me ,let me show you your power. Are you willing to look inside yourself? For that is where the beautiful magnificent truth lies….and it isn’t haunted there as some have taught you to believe. You must be willing to laugh at your follies as you would those of a young child, or a puppy acting with pure silliness. You must be willing to say, “Oh, I was wrong about that, isn’t that interesting……..” You must acknowledge with at least a glimmer, that some of your present conclusions about things can be improved upon, and the importance of doing so. And that you can……….


Hi Westy,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been impressed with your insights and your ability to string words together to express an idea for all of us.
You asked about the processes that have helped me attain my insights.........hitting bottom, and having to surrender. For me it wasn't a drug or addiction at all....I began daily morning meditation 2 yrs ago, doing my darndest to allow my complete being to open in receptivity to God, (sometimes known as the higher self, the universe, Spirit, etc....different things to each of us...) seeking guidance for finding my purpose in this life. I have many gifts to give the world, and I have been so sad and frustrated in not knowing which way to start moving.....just needing insight, and signposts along the way. And COURAGE!

Well, within a few months, my life begin to chafe me not unlike an ill-fitting garment! My job, my pseudo-relationship, everywhere I turned, I was aware of things no longer working....and my frustration and un-comfortability increased, and increased until finally one day......
I walked away. I left the job, that day no less, and so began my journey....quite painful and frightening the first year.....losing my little garden cottage I leased, and many other things.....

Needless to say, in hindsight I see so clearly that my true self took the ball and ran with it... clearing my life of all that no longer suited me or served my highest good........

The soul-search I have been on is not one I ever WANT to have to repeat.....loss after loss, issues from the past.....confronted with all my baggage at once it seemed.

I have known wisdoms and schools of thought that we create our own reality and experiences based on our beliefs, and the way we think within ourselves, the way we conduct ourselves outwardly....and it makes perfect sense......and let me just say, I have been emotionally and verbally abusing myself for years......scolding and scorning myself continuously (a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay helped me gain awareness of it), and I was horrified to realize how I felt and talked to myself.....

Issues of my ego have been running rampant within me for years, and have been in charge until I finally gleaned enough knowledge, and began practicing it, trying to live it, keeping myself, my thoughts and my actions under intense scrutiny still today......until finally.....glimmers of light...of truly GETTING it......

My ways, thoughts and actions have finally begun to mirror the knowledge I have been obsessed with finding and understanding all of these years.

I have felt incredibly self-absorbed these past two yrs......I have felt selfish, preoccupied, not emotionally available to anyone. I have been undependable, never being able to forecast my moods in advance, therefore having trouble keeping commitments to plans.......struggling with serious depression.....at times really wanting to throw in the towel......

One day recently, in trying to reasonably evaluate my idea of moving to the mountains, having felt intense and so concerned with making the RIGHT choice.....I remember saying to myself "Self, I have got to figure this out!".....The next thing I heard was, "No I don't, I just have to listen....."
I immediately felt relieved and comforted. My mind has being trying to control every aspect of my life for years,(and hasn't done a peaceful job of it) and yet, I KNOW my true guidance stems not from there, but from my heart, my intuition, my soul feelings......

Many significant things happened that day....looking in an old file cabinet for something entirely unrelated, and coming across writings of mine from 8 yrs ago....regarding moving to Eureka Springs then....(which I did)....and also some writings of native american origin....one called Wounded Heart, being an invitation of Mother Nature and her loving creative ways calling me to her to heal me.....(The Nature where I'm headed is a significant reason for going)....it might as well have been neon signs flashing at me that day........

There are no words to adequately convey what happened that day, several, several things....
And it was like the sun breaking through the clouds....
I listened. And the way was crystal clear. The rightness of my choice was powerfully endorsed by God, the universe.....and my true heart.

I have not had one moment of discomfort sense then.

As an aside, I will mention that I have felt spiritual all of my life, 3 yrs ago finding a church of religous science...which has had a hand in all of this........

Didn't mean to write a book.....just happens sometimes.....

I would love to know more about you...or any of you, at some point if you care to tell more about yourself and how your growth has occurred....... occurred...............

Living in the light,
Nature
Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here. ~Iyanla VanZant~~~~~





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