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Could somebody have bought me a clue?????

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I don't even know where to begin....Well let's I was married to my first husband for six years and my second husband for 2 years......WHY!! I ask myself and the only answer I can come up with after two failed marriages is I'm not being true to myself, I had dated women when I was in my 20's and had a really cool girlfriend I really liked a lot but she was very butch and I was too much of a wimp to come out to friends and family at the time,,,the truth is my family really does'nt care who I date,,,they are extremely liberal. It was me who had this "idea" in my head that I need to have a proper husand, house, white pick fence, 2 kids etc,,,so I presued this idea and have been absolutely miserable........I am done with this and from this point on know exactly what I want......I already told my mom, she was like what took you so long I expected this a lot sooner.....now at 42 I am starting the 2nd half of my life as a lesbian and this suits me just fine. If anyone has had a similar experience I would love to hear from you...right now if feels like I'm the only one, the whole situation is kind odf embrassing, I should have come to this conclusion sooner. Now my eyes are wide open. :shock:


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haha... I have to laugh when I read your title... I needed a clue too, apparently. :oops:

You actually aren't alone at all in your experience - I'm not quite as far along in my journey, but I'm working on it. I think a lot of women are sold this idea of what we're supposed to want, what we're supposed to do... now that I'm finally looking INSIDE for what I want, I have found myself in a similar situation as yours.... Married, 3 kids, and a huge attraction to women. I'm not sure what the future holds, but today I am co-parenting with my husband and looking for my own poly relationship with an open-minded woman...

obviously, it feels like quite a road block to any real future with a woman, but it's all i feel like I can do right now... my daughters are very young. I'm completely open with my h about everything, and he is supportive... of course, this comes across as a "bored housewife" scenario - but it isn't like that at all... I luckily have a good group of friends who do understand.

Actually, there are plenty of websites and support groups for women in my situation as well...

not sure if you'll even see this message since i'm posting a month after you, but if so, feel free to PM me! I'd love to talk more!



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One thing I learned during my "coming out" process was that there are many women who find themselves in this situation, (husband, kids, house, picket fence, etc.) I have trouble explaining to people how I could be a lesbian and be married to a man for 22 years. How can I explain something I don't even understand myself? All I can say is I was miserable on the inside and looked like I had the perfect life on the outside. Now it probably looks like my life is messed up, but I've never been happier. My family has been great about it. Sometimes the things we fear the most don't come true. I was more concerned about my kids than anything else, but after a few bumps in the road, they've accepted things pretty well. At the end of the day, I'm still "Mom" and that's all that matters to them. Anyway, just in case someone stops by to read these posts, I just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Lucid :)

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