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Is your family accepting of your being gay?


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#1
Eicart

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I am moving out after I go with my girl back to her home state to meet her parents. But My family has not accepted me yet as being a lesbian and are upset that I am going on this trip. my mother has taken down all family photos where I am in the photo. She has even threatened to put my things on the front lawna and they will be waiting for me when i get back. i have threatened to call the police if she tries to do that. She said she is not going to let me leave the house with anything other than the things I bought with my own money wheich are 2 computers, guitars and a few other things.

She is alos not happy with the fact that i bought my girl a ring and we are planning on being married next year.My mother does not understand that i have been gay all my life and just now came to terms with it. I dated me to please her and hated it. But am so much happier now that I have come out.this only half the story. my mom has done some crazy stuff o me since i have come out. My parents have also threatened to diown me if I marry her and move out. My girls family on the other hand is very accepting of her lifstyle and has said I am part of their family.


Is your family accepting of you gay lifestyle and accept your girlfriedn/partner as part of the family or do they subject you to the torture of belitting her when they do not even know her? My family has never met my girl but is always putting her down .

#2
celeste

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I think my mom probably suspects that I'm gay. I remember in high school I got a job as a camp counselor and fell for one of the other counselors there. When word got out towards the end of the summer, someone complained to my boss and we both almost got fired. I told my mom that none of it was true, but I'm sure she figured out that something was up. She and my father made it perfectly clear after that that I would never be completely disowned if I came out, but that my girlfriend would never ever be accepted as part of the family nor welcome in their house. I guess that's why I've never come out to my family. It's sort of a don't ask don't tell situation. I think your decision to come out was very brave and I admire the fact that you are true to yourself and your relationship regardless of what they think. I know that can't be easy.

#3
nicole5809

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I'm absolutely petrified about coming out to my family. I'm bisexual and I'm pretty sure they would see it as a phase (best case scenario). I don't think I could ever come out to my family without a serious girlfriend there holding my hand and helping me through it. I've only dated men for the sheer fear factor of what they would do if they saw me with a woman. I mean, after my grandfather (whom I live with) told me that all gay people are "fucked up in the head and need constant therapy" and I think it pretty much scared me for life into the closet. :cry: anyone else have a totally closed minded family?
~Nicole

#4
simplysarah26

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I kept being lesbian from my parents for a long time, then one day I just felt they needed to know because I was tired of trying to hide it. I had wrote a short story about my relationship with my girlfriend and left it sitting on my desk with a big red bow on it, because I know my mom couldn't resist. That was seven years ago and they still don't want to accept the fact that I'm gay, but it is something just not talked about. I have come out to all of my friends, but the rest of my distant family doesn't know. The only one that has been really cool with it in my immediate family is My sister and I love her for accepting me and not treating me like some diseased human. I can empathize with all you girls who have a fear of coming out to your families. It is hard, but when you do, yes they may over react, say things that will hurt your feelings, but eventually accept you for who you are. And if they don't, then just know that there is someone out there who loves you exactly the way you are! You don't need anyone's approval to be who you are![/i][/b]

#5
sexonlegs

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my immediate family knows. my sister is bisexual, my mother is a lesbian, and my father is bi-curious. :]

some of my aunts know, as well as my gma. the only ones in my family that have a problem with it arent worth my time anyway.

#6
ropergirl

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My family knows and at first they were not happy about it at all. Now most have accepted me for who I am with the exception of one of my brothers wives who is somewhat of a snob to begin with(I Have 4 brothers and am the only girl as well as the youngest).

Hopefully your family with come around in time. It took my parents, esp my father, almost two years before they realized its not just a "phase" I am going through

#7
Refinne

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Awww there's some heart breaking stuff in here.
I am out to most people, my son and brother both cried when I came out, my son asked me after I had told him, (I was late out the starting blocks I guess, I was 47 yrs old when I came out), anyway, he listened to me, then he looked at me and said he had one question that desperately needed to be answered, lol, I told him ask me anything as he had always been encouraged to do, he was 19, he asked me , because I was coming out to him, did that mean he had to stop loving me? Was that the end of the love that I had filled his life with? I said no, we both cried. He later told me the same thing my brother said when I told him, that they cried because I had lost too many years in finding someone who would love me, as in a relationship.
My sister I am not out too basically because I haven't gotten round to that yet, she has a very very homophobic husband and while that is of no concern to me, I have yet to add it to the "to do list"

But here's a question for you all, Do we ever really ever stop coming out?

#8
Guest_ram2998_*

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This is exactly how the beginning of the conversation went:

"Dad, I'm gay."

- silence -

"Me too. Well, halfway."

And here I thought he was gonna start yelling at me and stuff. :lol:

#9
rheanna_rae303

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i am bisexual and i came out to my family when i was 14. Ofcourse everyone thought it was a faze. Then when i had my first girlfriend when i was 18 everyone thought i was gay. my close famiy have always been excepting. then for some reason one of my cousins told my grandmother. She was so disgusted she called my grandmother on my mothers side who i saw pretty ofen. Whenever i would go around my grandmother she would say the nastiest things about gay people and talk about how lesbians are soo disgusting and how she doesnt understand it. Then went on to say that all homos are going to hell. The fact that she didnt even say things to me directly just in this passive aggressive taunting was so hurtfull. Even though it hurt I still tried to be happy about the people that were excepting.

#10
Jedhi

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Sorry to hear that is still going on in people's lives. I have been out of the closet for over 20 years. I left home at an early age--before 16. But even so, after my mom found out, I swear she talked to all the preachers at all the churches in town. My mom went to many churches in my childhood. So, I felt that she was stalking me and I tried hiding, hiding where I lived, worked, phone numbers. I did not contact her until I was out of state and in the Army. Then I wrote her some letters. That helped but she still would pull girlfriends aside and tell them I was not a lesbian... make up stories about why I was not with men... and between relationships, she was always and still does bring up boys names I was friends with in elementary and junior high school. She wants to fix me up with a nice husband... if we lived in the same town. I moved hours away from my mother to keep her out of my private life. When I was coming out of the closet back in the 80s, there were a lot of young women with similar stories. Some of them were entirely disowned. At least I know my mother loves me even though she does not respect me.





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