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I need some advice


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#1
jennytx

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Hi, I have read through the forums and find so much helpful and insightful information here so I thought this would be the place to come for advice. I am a mid 30s woman in a relationship with a woman in her early 20s. I adore her, everything is good for the most part, and our one year anniversary is coming up. My issue is this..we are separated right now-she is working in another state and will be til next summer. We have visits, and when we are together that's when things are perfect. We have plans to live together when she's done with her work obligation, and I really think we will be great for each other once that happens. However, I believe she is seeking out other women-I know she places ads on craigslist, because I created a user account with her email and I can check it (I know, spying is horrible but..there are trust issues). I no longer have the password to her email so while I don't know for sure that she's answering ads, I would bet money that she is. I offered an open relationship, just til we can be together full time, and she refused, but it seems she's in one on her own. I don't know what to do. Do I confront that I know what she's doing and beg her to stop or just turn a blind eye and let her get this stuff out of her system? It's tearing me apart, I am so upset all the time-she tells me she loves me so much but then I know she's lying to me. I sometimes think I should just let her have her fun on the side because she is so much younger and she should just experience a few other people before settling down with me. And to be honest, if it were purely sexual, I could probably do that. But I think she wants emotional intimacy with others and I can't abide that. I can sustain myself when I am lonely because I know I'll see her again, but I don't know that she can or will do that. Scratch that, she CAN, I just think she WON'T. I don't want to lose her because I believe she's the ONE, but I am just not sure what to do if anything. I would love to hear from others who have been in similar situations or just anyone with some perspective. I am so lost.





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