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There is predjudice against bi's?


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#1
newlyconverted

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i'm kinda new to the game how is that in anyway acceptable? just because i'm bi does not in any way mean i'm confused it just means i love THAT person doesn't matter if they're a man or a woman it means i like WHO they are!!

#2
cptncavegirl

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I hear you! When I was first coming to terms with my attraction to women I figured I was bi. And I hated the stigma that came along with that. Oh, you're bi, pick a side already, you're just greedy etc...

I felt and somewhat still feel the need to identify myself. I haven't been in a relationship with a man for over 2 years. I don't believe that I ever will again. So now I'm defined as what? It's hard to define and I don't feel the need to, yet I do. I haven't come out to my dad because I don't know what to say. "Well Dad, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian, but maybe I'm just bi." I mean jeesh!

It took me 27 years to come to terms with my attraction to women, and I'm SOOOO embaressed to say that since junior high I figured I wasn't gay becaue I wasn't "butch" I grew up in a small town and the only time you saw lesbians was on tv, and they seemed to be butch. I didn't identify with them, I didn't see myself with short hair dressed like a man, sport playing etc... I was so ignorant.

I am almost grateful (imagine that!) for the wretched degrading girl on girl porn my male exes wanted to watch with me. it opened my eyes (even if I do consider most mainstream pornstars that make bisexual movies truly "acting lesbian" like many of the actresses on the Lword) also moving to a bigger city and having one of my highschool crushes super pretty and feminine (cheerleader of course) come to our 10 year reunion with her life partner helped me see that sexuality is not black or white, but manyh shades of grey.

I know that it is disheartening to the feminist movement for things like porn and the seemingly "fad" of bisexuality now a days... but this girl is somewhat grateful for it! I'd still be living my lie of a life, unhappy and wondering why life was so hard, and wondering what was wrong with me that i didn't fit into a labeled box.

wow, sorry for the rant, it's late and I'm headed to bed. Phew, thanks!

#3
Amathyst

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I think the common misconception about bi-sexuals females is that they do not truly know what they want. They have an attraction to both men and women. This means they swing both ways and never settle down with one or the other. This is just my opinion, but I think some lesbians fear bi-sexuals when it comes to having a relationship with them. There is that constant worry that she (bi-sexual) will decide to go straight and leave them for a man. In the same sense, a man will worry she will leave him for a woman. So you're stuck in the middle. Literally. lol Granted, this common erroneous conception is true for some bi-sexual women. This gives the others a bad name and feeds into this stereotype. I have seen it happen and it is unfortunate.

When I came out, I thought the transition would be more smooth if I labeled myself a bi-sexual. This was 12 years ago.. Wow.. Anyway. The first person I told was my father. We went for a drive because I told him I had something important to talk to him about. He was acting all nervous. lol If only he knew.. I finally came out with it. Dad, I'm bi-sexual. He sighed and had this look of relief on his face. I was confused because I expected to get this religious lecture. Finally after a moment of awkward silence, he said what was on his mind. I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant. I laughed so hard. Then finally he said to me, "You know I will never understand or condone this behavior. But I also want what makes you happy. But despite of this, I still love you and you are always welcome in my home."

I came out as a lesbian about 8 years ago. I guess what you would "label" me as would be a tweener who loves the femme woman. :lol:
I just consider myself a random collection of cells that insists on saying "I".
http://www.myspace.com/amathyst2

#4
sarcasmo

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Hey, When I came out as bi to my mates they were all fab and didn't mind at all that I didn't identify as one or the other (gay or straight).
I've not told my parents as I know they do not understand bi-sexual, they don't understand how you can like both!
Most of the people I have come across are fine with the bi label but I do get (mainly from straight girls) asking me if I like both equally/do I like them at the same time or if one is preferred over the other at any given point. It can get annoying having to explain and justify myself however I sorta see it as a good thing as at least they are open to understanding it and not just turning their noses up!

Personally I don't really like the label as I just think I like a person not a gender and its fluid but as we are all still stuck in a time when everything must be placed in a box I'm definitely happy and proud to be firmly living in the bi-box!! In terms of my sexuality I know who I am, and confused is certainly not it!!
:wink:

#5
Victoriakellis

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I used to consider myself bi-sexual and my sister would have called me "an equal-oppurtunist whore". I found that alot of out gay people say bi-sexuals are just to afraid to come out. In my case, I think it was some of that and because I was just so used to being with guys. It shouldn't matter cause hey some people really do like the best of both worlds. I dont think you should choose, just be honest with yourself and everyone else. Dont choose to remain bi-sexual so that you can appear "normal" to everyone on the surface and practice the side of you your afraid to reveal.

#6
sexonlegs

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i dont really see what the big deal is either. i used to identify myself as bisexual, until i figured out that im truly a lesbian. some people bisexuals are picky, or want both sexes - which isnt fair. i totally disagree, i think you love who you love regardless of their gender. i say, if you're bisexual, the more.. the merrier. :]

#7
MissKae

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I've heard of a prejudice against bisexual women from LESBIANS. I'm 100% lesbian and I know other lesbians who I've met and dated that will absolutely not date bisexual women. The reasoning I've heard behind it is that a bisexual girl will always leave you in the end for a male partner. I don't know if this is exactly an accurate assumption on their part, but maybe the fact that from personal experiences they've had, they made that assumption? Perhaps they've only dated girls who said they were bi for the fun of being with a girl etc... I don't know. Has anyone else seen this as well?

#8
MissX

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Hi there :)

Labels.. why do we have to use them really..
I came out when I was a mere 13 and haven't looked back since. I've asked myself what I am.. am I bisexual because I have had crushes on a few men.. or am i a lesbian because I have been attracted to women.
I came up with this.. if your blonde.. blue or green eyed, tall, small then you have my attention :) I like you already lol. Add intelligence, humor and genuine honesty then you will have me hooked. I'm attracted to who the person is, and it seems that blondes are the ones that turn my head.. natural, decently dyed, short or long hair.. makes no matter to me lol.
I have been involved with only 2 men. And when i say that I mean one night and thats it so thank you and go home lol. But the majority of ppl in my life have been gals. And I love them wholeheartedly.
So.. am I bi or am i a all out lesbian.. well.. how about i just say this..

I love women.. always have.. and certainly always will :)

#9
kardianaut

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uuuuugh the tribalism that fractures the GLBT community on this topic is maddening. it is awful that we who are seeking a common goal for equality across gender and sexuality lines have to be stifled by people who are supposed to be allies... it is senseless really.

in general, i think that people's insecurities cloud their judgment. if someone can really only think of reasons why a potential partner would leave, rather than reasons why she should want to stay, then there are probably some self esteem issues. would that person even be worth dating? biological sex is an irreconcilable difference, yes... a man has physical qualities that a woman does not, and the same is true of women having physical qualities that men lack. it seems like many of these people don't view their womanhood as equally valuable as manhood, and it is unfortunate.

#10
Jedhi

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Amathyst, you are so right but there is more to the myth. In my thirty years of being in the lg before it was lgb then now lgbt community, a lot or lesbians had relationships with married women. So... a lot of lesbians were often hurt, I do mean women I knew, by women who would have relationships with them, tell them they were leaving their husbands and basically break their hearts. Then... there was this big movement from femmes and bisexual women... the lipstick movement in the early 90s. Women who wanted to wear lipstick and been seen as femme and accepted plus women who were bi-sexual began to come out in droves and protest at the Dyke marches and such. They began coming out of the closet and coming to events that previously you did not see them at prior. Lots of these issues were being discussed in open lesbian forums... prior to the internet. I mean bars, clubs, lesbian community rooms. There is a lot of baggage about being bisexual that re-emerges. It is still true that married women have affairs with lesbians. It was not safe for women to leave husbands for so long... and still women earn less on average as men and come from backgrounds and families where it might still be unsafe.

And, then top that off with women who are actually on the fence. My x girlfriend has been trying to get back together with me for three years and she still throws men in my face. I mean, she was here on Thanksgiving. We were together for some days and nights. We do not have sex because I will not have sex with her unless she marries me (we were together for 5 years and now known each other for 8 years). So, she tells me she got a txt message from a male co-worker who offered her boody call if she finds herself alone over the holidays. I told her off after she defended herself as being bisexual one more time and I am thinking she might as well go to the boody call since I am not going to spend another holiday with a woman who has told me I am the love of her life and still wants to keep an option open for a man. My point, there is a lot of issues. My x girlfriend uses it as a weapon. I am sure she is not the only woman who does that.





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