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I only want to meet other women that are REAL!


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#21
GRMChris

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I get a bit tired of worsmithing myself. I have found in various "dating" sites three types of people; those who have obvously no concern for their personal looks or longevity in this world, kids twenty somethings (no offense) that want to explore, think it's a cool fad to be part of, or people who are completely no where on my list of whom I believe I will be compatible with.

One site completely disgust me, call me old fashioned, I miss that, but it felt more like going int a porn site. Nothing about the person, just their sexual fantasies if you contacted them.

I am new in my area, no offense again, but I am tired of the bar being the only place you can be aassurd to meet gay people, and I make that all inclusive. I know we go to church, bookstores where we can see if we like a book and have a cup of Joe at the same time, movies, etc.

The problem, most cities are not "out" friendly and I honestly believe it impacts the way a person comes across. Without many outlets to let many parts of the personality some out a person is doomed to one and it marks them.

I have heard of cities, as an example, San Diego where I once lived, there was an area of town that was known as being Gay oriented. You had no doubt you were in it, and it was as normal as being in another area of town. No pink flags hanging on the lamp post, rainbow street signs, just gay occuppied with an open invitation to whomever wantd to come there, and no fear all of the merchants were gay operated and owned. You could be out in peace.

However most cities have not transgressed to that point and the ability of someone's surrondings allowing them to become a well rounded individual get trapped by lack of gay freedom.

#22
anauneemous4now

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I may be missing out but I usually steer clear of user profiles that demand that their potential matches be "real" and "drama free" because:

#1, I am not sure what "real" means... I mean, unless you are a bot, you are real... (whatever the heck that means)
#2, people who love drama rarely advertise this...

#23
GRMChris

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Real means that I have taken the time to put my heat out and answer every question honestly. I don't undestand why people want to be part of meetng frends or a potential signifcaant other by not filling out all information, won't post a picture, and some put thngs n about themselves that are just plain lies. I've been on oter dating sites and will leave it at that, if I thought they were good sites I would still be on them.

Cyber-dating is a risk, te more that is held back just holds that person back from finding companionship and/or friendship.

#24
lovechell69

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Okay I will change my real on my profile even though I am true to myself and others. I get the whole problem with it though. I've also had two long term relationships where they were a dream come true until the first year in and no matter how hard I tried to make it work it takes two. Both relationships the women would rather be glued to mommys hip instead of being equal. One would only come back when she knew I was getting a good bit of money. I'm the moron for that one. I dont just do the dating. I want to date with potential for more. okay off to edit my profile. Is unique acceptable? I have ten piericings in each ear. I'm told I don't behave like society says I should in public. Well age is truly just a number. I'm hyper as hell get very little sleep I want to laugh and I love making others laugh even if it's at my own expense. Okay I've put two responses. I would apologize for being opinionated and long responses but I don't feel I have anything to apologze for. have fun everyone.

#25
Kombi

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Being "real" is a hard one when you are looking for "love" online. Some people like to fluff up their bio a little because they feel that if they show their true self they will not be accepted est. geek, nerd, not to good looking. I think some people involved in the online dating scene can be a little shallow and that will make others try to build themselves up a little to meet other people shallow needs. In a perfect world we would all find that special person that can see the true inner person, until then we will always have people who are not "real."
I still am real and it has not gotten me to far.

#26
lesbotronic

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Hi everyone. There have been a lot of fabulous responses to this topic, and we appreciate that!

But just to steer it back a bit to some of the original questions, if we may:

--

Can someone who is not "REAL" get that way later? What exactly would that entail?

Thinking about whomever you imagine to NOT be "REAL" . . . would they agree with you?

Would anyone that is NOT "REAL" agree that that is so?

Or does every human on the planet imagine themselves to be "REAL?"

--

Any more thoughts on those? :)

#27
PincushionLiz

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I think that you might find this to be a cultural thing. I was raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and its a very, very, very common thing to hear. While it can be annoying, I wouldn't think anything of it if I were you.

#28
Cilla

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I think that someone who isn't real would be avoiding to not being themselves, for reasons known or unknown,
reasonable or unreasonable. But, in that light, being unreal won't make anything that lasts, a face to wear
for the moment, for a momentary minute of 'greatness'. Until, maybe, one day, that person is ready to be
themselves again, worn out with the facade to the point where the original self was lost. After finding that
self again, then you want to be her, and find a her that is herself as well. So, stating that you want a woman
who is 'real', could mean that you want a woman who will accept you for you, accepts themselves, and you
will do the same.

#29
Lorbana

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This is a great topic...

Real...

I wasn't real with myself -unintentionally, in the past about my sexuality. The way "gays" are treated for being so had me convinced right off that I wasn't, though my family and close friends knew otherwise...

Obviously, you need to be straightforward/honest, about yourself if you want a REAL relationship *note the 'l' and 'a' just need to be switched in this??* with ANYone.

I feel like some one real is as simple as some one being honest. We grow as we live and we learn. We change. To honestly accept this, is real.

That's my opinion.

And how dare any of us lie. Have the courage to say you'd rather not discuss it if you don't want some one to know!
And if you're playing people.... (._. ) wow.
"If laughter's youth, let's give years."

#30
Geekomatic

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"Real", to me: comfortable in your own skin, honest, empathetic. Basically, a person who respects themselves as they respect others (golden rule follower) & acts accordingly.

Hi everyone. There have been a lot of fabulous responses to this topic, and we appreciate that!

But just to steer it back a bit to some of the original questions, if we may:


Can someone who is not "REAL" get that way later? What exactly would that entail?

Of course. A lot of who you are & how you come to grow is a learning process. Some people can grow, some are stuck/stunted (generally due to situations in upbringing that were beyond their control).

Thinking about whomever you imagine to NOT be "REAL" . . . would they agree with you?

If they were capable of introspection & considering others viewpoints? As per the above- some would & some wouldn't.

Would anyone that is NOT "REAL" agree that that is so?

Agree that they, themselves, are not "real"? Again, it would all come down to just what the basis of how they are was about. When I say that, I mean- look at the extreme end of the spectrum & consider someone who is personality-disordered (say, borderline or narcissistic). They would charm your socks off all the while they are basically acting. In the case of the NPD, they would never admit to being less than perfect... For the other end of the spectrum, there will be those who are "finding themselves" & who will respond favorably to outside "constructive criticism". In fact, being able to do this signifies an open mind.

Or does every human on the planet imagine themselves to be "REAL?"

If they are capable of true honesty & true introspection (within themselves), then they could not.

Imho, naturally- ;)

Edited by Geekomatic, 10 October 2012 - 04:04 AM.






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