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I only want to meet other women that are REAL!


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#31
Chrys

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We have this propensity in today's society to talk ourselves up. Stretch the truth, or at least only show our "best" side (whatever that means). It's happening a lot these days on resumes or in personal ads. Figure that might get you in the door (of a possible job or someone's attention for a possible relationship) but at some point you'll be outed. So why not be honest? Well, how many people have the courage to take a hard look at themselves, and be willing to say it outright?

#32
Jameson

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I guess I first read "real" as a way of pointing out the whole males posing as females issue. But when I thought more about it, it did seem a bit like transphobia.

#33
allyfey

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I took it to mean real, as in actually existing. Not secretly a 40 year old man with a beard and tattoos. Maybe I've just been exposed to too much Catfish...

#34
maeusi123

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Phew.. Yes seems like a big can of worms open here.. here is my 4 cents!! From my past run in with chat sites I can say that I have had the crazy stuff happen. I am not the kind to chop down people that want to make friends and such guys or girls but when your on a site for gay women then that's who your expecting to meet not some crazy loser guy,man or boy who can not meet women in the straight world so they figure that their doing the lesbian women of the chat world a favor by pretending to be women so that they can harass you trying to make meeting dates... oh I cant even get to the tip of all that has happen but I am sure some of you know what I mean you wind up blocking half of the people on the site cause they are not women but guys! Now the down side is your on a pay chat site and all this happens while your still in the trial stage and when you cancel and explain the reason the chat site never responds to your concerns and the false people problems. I think that reason alone has put me off on doing the chat site stuff for the longest time.. you never know who your meeting and pictures are just that pictures its not real til your looking at each other face to face..

#35
jwaite66

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Hello everyone! I am here to meet "real" women as well. My definition of "real" is a gay female with honest intentions, not someone "posing" as a lesbian with cruel intent.

~Julia

#36
kladdaugh

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View Postashleigh, on 15 January 2011 - 04:47 PM, said:

Actually, by using a single word to try and convey something, we are attempting to neatly label something. Much in the same way that people insist that gender is a binary concept. As I have noted before, it is easier for us to know what it is that we are not looking for than to know what exactly we are looking for. Approaching the issue from this side requires more thought and self searching, but at the same time it would also make our search for that someone(s) easier, because we now have a far more efficient selection process. There are times that binary decision making has its place. A simplistic example is I want apples. If my choices are not apples, then I simply move on. Yes this does eliminate the possibility of exploration and discovery, but there is always a time and place for everything. Perhaps we go through a series of bad choices in order to find out whether or not something can be compatible with ourselves.

As far as hidden agendas go, everyone has at least one. The only time the agenda comes out into the open is when we decide (un)consciously to bring it there. Quite honestly, I have certain dreams that I will never share with anyone. The very pursuit of them makes them hidden agendas. Just because I will not share them does not make them bad or even undesirable. It only makes them what they are-mine. Even though some of us claim to be open books, there is always something that we keep to ourselves. Aperfect example is the original interpretation of the Harry Benjamin Standards. As post-op females, we expected to basically step out of one closet and into another without getting caught. Right or wrong, that was the accepted requirements. After going through all the hoops and hurdles to get SRS, does that make the woman any less "real" than anyone else?For that matter, does it make any person, male or female, that is undergoing treatment for GID any less real because of the procedures involved?

It reminds me of when people stopped using the term "tranny" and started using the word "trap." That's even more derogitory than the pornographic connotation of tranny or shemale. That suggests the person has a hidden agenda, and is satisfied by luring in someone.
With regards to not falling in the actual trap of the binary gender paradigm, that's where the various third gender persons fall in, from the two-spirited, the non-binary identifying intersexed, the genderqueer, genderfluid, gender-neutral, nongendered, or as I like to call us, Smizmars (see Futurama).
Honestly, I've never known a smizmar to lie about what they want from you, or to be fake in any way, because they're honest about who they are with themselves, and being in touch with all aspects of gender within ones personality in my case means that I don't like to delude myself.

For example, the males who think that a lesbian is magically turned straight by the magic of his wand need to wake up from their porn induced fantasy. A bi friend of mine said a couple propositioned her, because they only want another female to fool around with, and that's because of the two wang rule (TWR, not to be confused with the Wu Tang clan). The idea of the TWR is that if she likes the other person's wang, then she might leave her for him; or worse still, in his mind, he might discover that he likes wang (maybe he just hasn't met the right guy, amiright?), and that idea stirs up his case of the 'notgays.' It's funny, because I know more women who, if they met the right woman would drop their boyfriend a lot faster than if they met a better man. But, given the patriarchy, it's assumed that if a man can't keep a woman, then it's his fault, and fault is especially laid with his genitals.

I don't have hidden agendas, because I hate them. I couldn't live with myself if people couldn't trust me, and when others have suggested that I wasn't trustworthy, I found it devastating, because I have been lied to and hurt so much in life. So anybody who talks with me gets only me, no facades.

#37
kladdaugh

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View Postjwaite66, on 25 June 2013 - 01:53 AM, said:

Hello everyone! I am here to meet "real" women as well. My definition of "real" is a gay female with honest intentions, not someone "posing" as a lesbian with cruel intent.

~Julia

That's not marginalizing to bi or queer women at all... no disrespect. I just don't like it when people get so binary and polarized, but naturally, you can date who you want, it's your right, and your choice doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else in any way. It's just your preference, and I shouldn't have let myself get bent out of shape over your post. But it does seem to disregard the existence of women who aren't simply straight or gay (and those who are intersex but identify as female).

#38
jwaite66

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To be more specific, I don't like creepy dudes trying to get a cheap thrill by pretending to be one of us. I love all gay, trans, bi......all people. What I don't like is some straight dude pretending to be a girl, jerking off to our board while his wife is in the kitchen cooking his dinner. I judge noone, but I don't like deception.

#39
kladdaugh

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View Postjwaite66, on 26 July 2013 - 07:23 PM, said:

To be more specific, I don't like creepy dudes trying to get a cheap thrill by pretending to be one of us. I love all gay, trans, bi......all people. What I don't like is some straight dude pretending to be a girl, jerking off to our board while his wife is in the kitchen cooking his dinner. I judge noone, but I don't like deception.

Eeew! Yeah, all you had to say was creepy straight dudes pretending to be women. I didn't need that image. I'm with you on deception. I hope you find not just a gay woman, but a really good one for you.

#40
Atlantis

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I personally am pansexual I am looking for just real human beings (that got the basic stuff heart, mind, and soul) not worried about the stuff below the belt and to make lifelong friendships with really awesome human beings and maybe find someone special over the fun adventure. :wub:





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