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I only want to meet other women that are REAL!


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#41
ashleigh

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maybe "real" means that the person is not constructed out of tofu or any other imitation human substitutes?

#42
ashleigh

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of course "real" brings us right back to using fuzzy definitions and expecting to get a concrete result. maybe if one is lucky, it will happen, but then again i may win the lottery, too. "drama" also falls in the same category. we use "drama" to represent something that we do not want in our lives, but when do we ever define just what "drama" actually consists of? do we go with webster's definition, do we actually say what we mean by using the term, or do we just simply assume that everyone is on the same page as us and reading from the same paragraph? specifics and vagaries have their place in our communications, but we need to remember which is which in order to cut down confusion as much as possible.

a bad place for specifics would be if a personal read "seeking a lefthanded, lesbian, midget eskimo." very specific, but also sounds extremely fetishistic. vagaries, "wanted-a good woman." what constitutes a "good woman" to that writer and potential viewers?

#43
ashleigh

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real and honest can be touchy areas. especially if one is transgendered. on one paw, we are coming into our true selves through transitioning, but what about the pre transition time? it doesn't go away no matter how much we wish it to. all of our life's experience shows itself in each and every one of us. perhaps it is nothing more than paradox further manifesting itself in our lives, i honestly do not know. using myself as an example, i am definitely more femme than butch, however there are times that the butch past rears its head. that is the part i usually describe as being a trained pitbull. all femme and so forth until certain events trigger the guard dog aspect of my personality. so what the end result is a mental and emotional teenaged girl combined with a forty year old biker. the question of real for me becomes how can i seemlessly integrate the different parts? because from past experience, trying to bury or deny one's past just is not healthy and it usually rearsits head at the mostinconvenient of times.

#44
CHELLE23

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Being trans and reading this I can't help but wonder if I will be able to meet that special someone who will love me and want to establish a great relationship. It is frustrating enough to have been living my life with the struggles of being trans and being discriminated by the general public without feeling the same may be true in this community.

#45
Dahlia8

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Mmmmm... I like this question and it can go onto many realms though my 1st thought response is.. many people lie ... there are various forms and purposes of lying though not all necessarily in malicious ways... each has thier own motive in doing so.. protection... low self esteem.. hiding from others... even hiding from themselves... not being true to oneself... trying to be whom they think another would want one to be - and this can also be because they are lost within themselves.... lying for maipulation to obtain what ever one wants in self fulfillment of wants and desires...like afraid of not being accepted as how they are... trying to put oneself to be liked by another in hopes they will like them for the story they present to another.. the end result can come to a dishonesty of self a betrayal towards self cause now one carries within them a false representation and on some levels knows this.... it will not sit well within... some are chronic some are habitual.... to me being real is being your true self ... your authentic self... the self who was or is meant to be right from birth.... before the being exposed to the structuring of how society determined you should be as in the traumas or people influences receved throughout our life growing up... not to say all influences we have recieved throughout our life is considered to be unhealthy to the growth of one self... to be real is to be who you are in truth and if you are a chronic habitual liar... then be true to yourself ...see it and deal with it and let others know.

#46
ashleigh

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also in the same boat as "real", is the word "games." any interaction between people can be called a game. so do we want to forgo all games or just certain ones. opting out of all, pretty much limits one's options for any kind of interaction. so which games are we willing to participate and which ones do we run hastily away from?

#47
CharlieBaitMama

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Completely enamored by the collective brain of the Administrators! Your public, exploratory surgery on "REAL", was humorous perfection. Leaving me nothing to expand upon and no where to go, but back to the operating theater room to applaud!

#48
Metria

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Hi! My name is Metria, and I am brand new here, and I would like to talk about getting Real. The personals was an issue for me, because I had the option between Cisgen, and MTF. Well just so you know, I do not consider myself MTF. If anything the correct term if not just woman would be woman with a transgendered past. I have lived as a woman for almost 20 years now, and have long long ago done everything necessary physically to be who I am and live as such. Although I don't hide my past.. I am very open about myself.. Everyone I know considers me to be a woman for all intents and purposes, and I have had several relationships with woman over the years, and my gender has never really been an issue, except to answer curious well intended questions.. I never mind those. Anyway, because of my choices, I only have one match with my current search results in the personals, because some have chosen not to connect to a transgendered person. I understand, I am not interested in men, or men in dresses either. So the question is, about this Cisgen thing, I think you are all loosing out on meeting a really great woman because of the term. And I don't know how to fix it.

#49
lesbotronic

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This is a bit of a derailment of the original idea of this thread, and it might want to become its own thread, but in the meantime, we could talk about this issue here.

Metria, we entirely respect that you are an actual real woman, and a real lesbian. We absolutely DO respect that. You've got our vote. No doubt, no question, hands down.

Some women, lesbian or bisexual or otherwise, are willing to meet trans women and/or women with a Y chromosome, and some are not. We try to give everyone the option to meet whomever they might want to meet, whomever they'd be happy and willing and enthusiastic to meet.

And then . . . we also try to give them the option to exclude anyone they would NOT be happy and willing and enthusiastic to meet.

We imagine that's best for everyone, in terms of who they might message, the likelihood of getting a response back, the probability of those messages turning into an actual relationship, and the overall positive experience of the whole dang thing.

Metria, you seem to be suggesting that if our site had allowed you to categorize yourself in some other way, you might be feeling better now?

#50
Metria

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Actually that is and is not what I am saying... I know I sound like a politician... I really don't know what the answer is, and I don't know how to categorize me. I am not gender queer or anything but a woman that likes women. I soooo understand the need for a separation here.. I don't know how to fix it, all I know is that I am segregated by my honest answer from women that I am sure would love to meet me, and even just hang out.
I guess in a perfect world there would be an option for almost cisgen, but I am sure just the thought would exclude most women too.. This is why I threw this out here, I was hoping someone else could tell me how a beautiful woman like me could find a match with more than one woman on the board...





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