Metria, I imagine the bedrock issue here is that it's unfortunate that more people aren't open to various relationships with transfolk.
I can certainly join you in thinking that that is unfortunate. I'm totally with you there.
But I can't join you in imagining that more categories would actually solve that social problem. I'm afraid I particularly don't think an "almost cisgen" category would. People that definitely aren't interested in meeting transfolk aren't going to make those sorts of finely tuned distinctions about it. They're just going to pick cisgendered only, and leave it at that. Any deviation from that would not be what they'd want.
I don't even think it would result in more people in your search results. You seem to think that an additional category could somehow "talk people out of" their prejudice or lack of interest here. Unfortunately, I just don't think we have that sort of power.
I think this site as an overall entity encourages open-mindedness and tolerance of a greater range of diversity. It also exposes a whole heck of a lot of people to at least the idea of folks different from themselves, and helps normalize those differences, at least to some extent. And I think that's definitely a good thing.
But on the level of an individual subscriber, if she doesn't want to meet transfolk, I don't think we can successfully suggest or prod her into it just by changing our profile questionnaire . . . or anything else on the site.
And, I'm sorry to have to say this, but if they definitely aren't interested in meeting you because you're not absolutely cisgendered, I think you're better off not meeting them too. Again, I'm sorry that this is the case, but if someone isn't in your search results for that reason, I actually think it's appropriate that they're NOT in there. More people isn't actually a good thing if they're the wrong people for you.
Social progress happens slowly for a lot of people. I don't know if you'll find this encouraging, but at least on our site, younger subscribers are more likely to indicate openness to transfolk. Also, in the US, subscribers in blue/liberal/progressive states are more likely to indicate openness than in red states like Florida. Keeping this in mind, if travel is possible for you, you may want to consider expanding your geographic range.
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little bit of background info. i am a pre-op mtf in the middle of the florida panhandle. it is a completely rural county. i could make transitioning and my social life a bit easier in a more accepting area, such as nyc or portland or most anywhere else. why do i stay? easy, i cannot live in a city without an extreme toll on my sanity. every place has its pros and cons. no place is perfect, except maybe within my own mind. it is important to know or at least be willing to ask oneself what price is acceptable. this also goes back to what is "real", "drama", or anything else. what is acceptable for each person and what is unacceptable. knowing the answers to these questions makes finding our goal easier.
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