Jump to content

How do you start to talk with someone that you like?


21 replies to this topic

#1
Abee

  • Members
  • 2 posts
Hi. I'm new here and I may need little help ladies....

So, initial attraction hasn't been that hard, luckily if I have liked someone I get this whole eye-to-eye thing for few seconds and I know the attraction has been reciprocated.

HOWEVER, I'm clueless as to what to do next, unless someone always makes the first move, I don't know how to...and it will be nice to be the first one to start a conversation or take the lead for once...

The problem is I don't know what to say...I don't want to be too obvious so I overthink the situation and eventually end up leaving and without saying anything, any help or advices please? How do you all initiate a conversation with someone you feel attracted to? How do you keep it casual? And finally, how do you flirt?

Thanks!!

Abee

#2
Vavav00m

  • Members
  • 22 posts
Hmm.... I think getting acquainted first is more important than anything else in your case. Try to identify things that both you and her have in common with to strike a good conversation. Ie: she likes wearing beads necklace and you're a fan of it too. Then just walk up to her and said, "Hey, love your beads. Where did you get them?" .... elaborate some more as the conversation goes. If she walks the same path to school/ college/ uni as you, try observing what time she walks and try meeting her up on the way. Go, "Hi, are you from xxxx school/college/uni?" She'll probably goes, "Yea." and continue walking. Don't be dishearten, continue asking her questions like, "What are you majoring in..." bla.. bla.. school related stuffs but don't ask questions about personal stuffs because it might freak her out. Remember to insert "Hi, I'm XXX. What's yours" in the 3rd or 4th question. Hehe... If she got warmed up to you, You can ask her out for lunch or something. Remember to smile, do little praising and handshake is very important when you mention your name. Be moderate in everything you do so that she won't put her guard up too much. ':D' It worked for me. Hope it helped you too. Good luck, pal!

#3
faenyx

  • Members
  • 6 posts
I have two techniques, the first one I am about to tell you about is the one i use most regularly, because believe it or not I am really quite shy.

Option 1: observe- watch how they interact what is her body is saying. Liston (well ease drop) on what she is saying to the group or person they are talking to. If you have the opportunity watch her for a bit before initiating first contact, See how she treats other people.

Then after doing all of my

Quote

stalking
I will then speak to her... its takes a long time, and doesn't always work out, but at least when we first talk I have a slight idea of what she may be interested in, that way I have an idea about what to say or ask her about. it also helps me pass by people who aren't very kind- If the person I think is beautiful isn't really beautiful where it matters most I would rather not have wasted my time (but Me personally i don't like mean people 2-3 years down the road)

Option2: I go up try and talk to them by commenting on how interesting something going on is or an article of clothing they are waring is. usually I sound like a rambling idiot....

But the point being in both options, find a common ground Even if it is the weather. Seriously....

#4
Vavav00m

  • Members
  • 22 posts
About the praising part, I've tried to praise a girl saying that she's pretty but it kind of spooked her off... hahaha! But she is beautiful, gosh y ppl take it the wrong way, so I think praising on their attire's better I guess. Haven't tried waether talking before.... maybe I should give it a shot. XXXDDD

#5
faenyx

  • Members
  • 6 posts
Talking about the weather only really works if its an usually lovely day. I find that complaining is a major turn off for me. however if its particularly gloomy and you think its going to rain you can say and its TRUE you can say "hey I notice you walked here, would you like a ride It looks like it might rain."

One thing I found quite nice being female and being attracted to females, most women don't find you a threat the same way a male can be seen. But then again I am sadly rather closeted. Most people think I am strait....

Being kind to some one you like is super important. I know it seems like one of those "well duh" moments but you would be surprised how many people tease some one they are attracted to out of nervousness or are just a violent flirt...

#6
Vavav00m

  • Members
  • 22 posts
Talking about rain, you reminded me about the time I was waiting for a bus to my work place. It was suddenly raining but I was lucky to have my umbrella with me. The lady beside me didn't have one so I shared mine with her. Got to know that she was a lawyer and we got acquainted just like that. hahahahaha!

#7
faenyx

  • Members
  • 6 posts
its really how amazingly simple something can be with the right circumstances. its funny it took my partner and I 3 years to admit that we where interested in each other (me because I normally I am not attracted to men. he is the only one)

Timing never seemed to be right, and I was having issues with his gender. Which is horrifyingly embarrassing to admit to. Specially since i often posed as a strait queer ally. :oops:

#8
Vavav00m

  • Members
  • 22 posts
Sighs.... It's good that u've found a nice guy 2 b ur bf. hehehe... but I totally agree wif the gender issue too. I consider myself as bicurious but I think I like girls more than guys. Been saying no 2 relationships from both genders as I'm quite confused wif what I really want actually. sighs.... The problem I'm facing is that girls that I'm interested in are all straight girls. lols! Epic fail! XXXXDDD

#9
ashleigh

  • Posting Members (3 or more)
  • 192 posts
There is always the classic screwing up the courage and approaching somewhat embarrassed/flustered and stammering/stuttering of a very clumsy greeting. Somehow it never seems to get easier. If all else fails, borrow a friend's dog or child. My friends would always borrow my rugrat to start chatting up women and it never failed.

#10
LovelyKisses1

  • Members
  • 3 posts

Quote

Hi. I'm new here and I may need little help ladies....

So, initial attrac And finally, how do you flirt?

Thanks!!

Abee

Its probably not the best idea to think in terms of "looking for signs", as a way to judge a person's receptibility or availability..

"what is her body language.........did she just lick her lips twice, ....did i notice her pupils dilate.....are her breaths coming faster.....did she just cross and uncross her legs...did she just slip her pump off her heel to expose her arch...""

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Thats a whole lot of manic studying going on when just a friendly smile and very casual conversation about nothing serious is a much better way to break the ice.

Women respond best to calm confidence and friendliness., and they respond badly if you come to them all hot and bothered and out of control and obvious.

And finally, if you want someone to be interested in you, then you need to BE interesting and humorous.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users