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She's driving me crazy.


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#11
illuminosity

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Okay, I found her book for her.

Now she wants me to find her something else.

Thai kickboxing shorts.

Seriously.

Via email, I advised her not to try kickboxing and tantra at the same time.

:wink:

Hmm, but these shorts look like something a man would wear. There's a big frog right on the crotch. Perhaps my hopes are to be cruelly dashed.

#12
19JustPeachy

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Your last post in this thread was a couple weeks ago, has anything else happened?
I recommend slowly getting more intimate, maybe touching her arm when you say goodbye or gently putting your hand on her back when thanking her for a ride. Slowly move to hugs. That kind of thing. :)
Good luck!

#13
illuminosity

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Ok. Update.

I got her tantra book, which was stupid, (I peeked) and full of softcore hetero porn pictures. I told her I thought it was stupid, but it was up to her to decide if she liked it. She insisted on paying me for the book, but I refused because it was cheap.

Anyway, her taste is better than I thought. She emailed me today to say the book WAS stupid, and not what she was looking for. (she wanted a book about sex and spirituality, not a book of porntastic sex tips).

So now I am looking for a better book on the subject for her.

The other day we were discussing massage techniques in the car, and she recommended some therapists she knows, but one of them is a male.
I immediately protested because I don't want any man touching me.
She was curious why? I just said I don't like men touching me.
She said she likes male massage therapists. :(

#14
19JustPeachy

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Tantric sex IS technically spiritual... it's an Eastern kind of spirituality, though. It goes along with the Kama Sutra. Tantra is all about prolonging and making sex more intense and fulfilling. It is NOT stupid at all.

Many women prefer male massage therapists, maybe because of the larger hands? And males tend to be stronger than females.


You could say something like "Since you've been such a good friend to me, I wanted to confide in you." And then tell her your feelings about your sexuality. Even if she's hetero, you'll have someone you can talk to.

#15
illuminosity

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I didn't say tantra was stupid. I said the book was.

If I tell her my feelings about my sexuality, she will assume - correctly - that I have such feelings about her.

Which will lead to her totally freaking out and disappearing. And then I'll have lost a friend.

#16
illuminosity

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Okay, so we haven't seen each other in a few weeks. I haven't heard from her at all, so I write her an email.

She says that she has been sick lately, but is interested in my new tantra book. (a better one, which I got to replace the stupid porny one). I mentioned that I didn't like one aspect of the new book, which was its assumption that all sexual relationships are hetero.

So...clue dropped.

She didn't answer on that point, but she didn't freak out or anything, and is still acting like normal.

Now I wonder if she completely understood what I said, or didn't, because English is not her primary language.

Anyway, she got a new job and that's why she hasn't been around. I am going to see her today.

#17
Ibzychick

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I'm new here and was getting really interested in your story, maybe because it is someone similar to mine in the way that I am wondering if she is sending messages or I am just making it all up in my head. Also, she sounds like the way I act towards someone when I'm head over heels... doing things for them, paying for coffees, lunch or whatever...

It's the end of April now.. did anything ever come of this? I'm dying to know!

#18
illuminosity

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sHi, Ibzychick! Welcome to the forum.

I was just thinking about how different queer women are from men. I used to be roommates with a gay gay, and he could just go out and hook up with another dude, just like that. Guys just get right to it. They don't seem to hesitate and agonize and wonder if they're just imagining things. Lucky them, I guess.

#19
illuminosity

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I still don't know what to think about A.

My brain goes in circles.

On one hand, I am a foreigner living in a weird little E. European country whose language I don't understand. Sometimes total strangers do nice things for me, either because they feel sorry for the clueless expat or because they want to show off how nice their country is. I initially thought she was one of these.

She's never asked me anything really personal, she never talks in an "intimate" way, you know. She doesn't flirt. She is just nice, normal and seems innocent. She doesn't look at me in a meaningful way or try to touch me, or anything.

Sometimes I wonder if I am imagining it all. So I try to just treat her like any other person, and not hope, because the hope will drive you mad.

But then, if I don't see her for a week or two, she will email me and ask me how I am. She always does this in a very lighthearted kind of way.

#20
illuminosity

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For some reason I can't post long replies, so I have to add them paragraph by paragraph.

When we're together there isn't really what I would describe as a sexual charge or anything like that. It's really laid back. So laid back that it's kind of boring, and I wonder why she wants to spend time with me when what we do is so boring! Just ride in a car from her work to home, or go shopping, things like that. We don't even shop together, but split up and then meet later. I enjoy doing these things, even though they are boring, but it seems to me like she could be doing much more interesting things than hanging out with me. And did I mention she is much much younger and prettier than myself?





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