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She's driving me crazy.


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#21
illuminosity

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It doesn't seem logical that she would fancy me, unless she has a weird fetish of some kind. But the wanting to buy me stuff is weird if we are just friends. And she doesn't like it when I reciprocate. I gave her a book which I bought for her, but it made her very embarrassed and she tried to pay me for it. I don't want to take advantage of her hospitality and just take, take, take. But she seems to like doing little things for me. I don't understand it at all.

So, the current situation is: I see her about every week or so, we drive home, we talk a little bit, that is all. Very boring, on the surface.

I dropped a hint when I gave her the book, but I wonder if she understood it. I said the book was OK, but I didn't like the way it presumed all relationships are hetero.

Now, to a native English speaker that would be a big HINT that I'm not hetero. But maybe she missed it.

Then again, I am afraid to freak her out if I just tell her I am bi. Like she will think I want to do her right then and there :)

Strangely, in our conversations neither of us has ever talked about guys. At all. Ever. Don't straight women talk about guys?

#22
77lagata

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You know, that could be a benign way for you to test the waters. You could ask why she never mentions a male interest, or something along those lines. There are ways to pose that question so even the most shrewd person wouldn't suspect any ulterior motive. Or, you could ask her about what people do when they date around there, and ask where her boyfriend takes her. I'm sure that you know her well enough by now that you'd be able to figure out how best to approach her with the query, and that could satisfy your curiosity once and for all possibly. At the worst, you'd still be unsure, which is where you are now. I wish you the best of luck with it. The first girl I ever fell for was straight according to her words but not so much according to her physical response to me once I finally told her of my feelings. I know what it means to wonder and doubt.

#23
illuminosity

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OK. Two things happened:

She drove me home one night, and she was playing songs on her cell phone the whole time. It felt like a rebuke, like I don't talk enough to please her.
Some of the songs were Slovenian so I don't know what they were about, but one of them was "Tears in Rain" by James Blunt. There's a lyric in there about hiding one's true shape, like Dorian Gray. I wondered if this was some kind of hidden message.

But then, a week later...
she talks about some guy and says she's going diving in Croatia with him for two days. That MIGHT be platonic but I kinda doubt it. She isn't all silly in love sounding when she talks about him, though. I tried to draw her out on the subject, but I didn't get far. She has the same airy nonchalance when discussing him as anything else.
I don't know why she wants to be my friend though. We're totally different, and it's not like I'm somebody other people want to be seen with. My public persona is pretty much "introverted weirdo".

#24
Sarahdactyl

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I love reading the updates on this post, keep posting us updates. It would make a really good opening plot for a movie. Good luck! :)

#25
illuminosity

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So far, nothing more has happened...

I went out of the country for a week. I asked her to take care of my cats (go to my house and feed them, etc. because my landlady won't do it properly). I offered to pay her for it, but she quickly said no, she would happily do it for free. So off I went for my trip.

On the trip, I emailed her about the cats, she said they were fine, but she had to go away for a couple days so she showed my landlady how to feed them properly. I emailed her back asking casually about the guy she was going with, just a silly question like "is he cute", but no answer from her.

I am back home now. I haven't seen her.

#26
illuminosity

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So far, nothing more has happened...

I went out of the country for a week. I asked her to take care of my cats (go to my house and feed them, etc. because my landlady won't do it properly). I offered to pay her for it, but she quickly said no, she would happily do it for free. So off I went for my trip.

On the trip, I emailed her about the cats, she said they were fine, but she had to go away for a couple days so she showed my landlady how to feed them properly. I emailed her back asking casually about the guy she was going with, just a silly question like "is he cute", but no answer from her.

I am back home now. I haven't seen her.

#27
illuminosity

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Okay, so yesterday I went past the place where she works.
I didn't see her car outside, so I didn't think she was there. But I went in anyway. She was there after all. She seemed happy enough to see me.

So we chatted a bit and she said she could drop me at home in an hour when the store closed, though she had something to do first.

So I went to get something to eat. I came back just a few minutes after the store closed...It was dark, and she was gone.

I looked all over the building (it's a little mall). No sign of her, no car in the parking lot.

There were no more trains home so I had to walk. 14 km in the dark!

I am a bit mad now. I was eating at a place right there in the mall, she knew where it was.

I have the feeling she ditched me on purpose.

#28
illuminosity

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Okay, so I put her out of my mind for about 2 weeks.

Then, yesterday, I am walking to town and she pulls up behind me and offers me a ride. She's really friendly and normal as ever. It's hot outside and I'm really tired so I just get in the car like normal. We talk and she seems very cheerful and like nothing is wrong. She said she emailed me, she couldn't do so before because of computer problems.

We don't mention what happened last time at all. She drops me off at the library and goes on to work.

After I am done at the library, I go see her at work because her work is on the way to the train station anyway. So I go there, and she is friendly, but says she can't take me home because she has to visit a friend in Brezice. So I say OK, and go take the train home. I missed the 7 o clock train so I take the 8 o clock one.

So I am thinking, her "friend" is a boyfriend, maybe the one she went to Croatia with, and she is going over there to spend the night with him. So NATURALLY I don't want to be in the way...and I guess she is straight.

Then....

The train stops in my town but I have to walk about 2 km to get there. I am barely out of the station area when someone pulls up behind me and it's her. I'm really surprised.

During the drive I can't contain my curiosity, so I ask her if she is already done visiting her friend. Yes, she is done, she was only meeting the friend for a drink. I ask her if it was the guy she told me about before, and she says no, in a way which suggests I am being presumptous, and says it is a woman friend. I feel like I've already pried too much, so we don't discuss it further.

But now I am wondering about her again!

:?:

#29
FELIKS

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You are a great story teller, should consider writing.;) I wanted to tell you that I also live in a small country,in the balcans(with the castles,homophobic people,small town neighbors),so I think that A likes you and wants to do "smth" with you,but she just doesnt know "what?!".She has never had such an experience before.And she would never dare to start being physical,shes shy and doesnt have any experience with girls..thats what I sense.;)I was like that once.
Going back to how I became bi and then gay,one girl was smiling and offering me small things like flowers and stuff.then we walked together and sat at some stairs and she asked me if she could kiss me.I was schocked.So i said No.Then she asked me again:Can i kiss you?And I said no again.I gave up when she asked me the 6th time.;)Afterwards the kiss was so nice I felt great and so natural and that turned to be my first love! ;)





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