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Please Answer This One For Me



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#1
lovechell69

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I came out when I was thirty long story there. When I came out I stayed true to myself and I am way out there. If I want to hold my girlfriends hand i will (if I had one living here in mayberry lol). Anyways why do all the females in your life all of a sudden become bi? The next question is why do they want to involve me in threesomes? excuse me don't do that. Anyone else get this kind of nonsense? :p

#2
stephye205

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Me, I am very young, only about 19 years old, and I consider myself bi. I guess everyone has their own reasons for choosing either to be bi or simply lesbian. Me, I don't take that a relationship needs to be gender orientated. It's all about what you are comfortable with. I may not know much, but I bet there may be a lot of women who feel the same way you do about the whole bi thing or others who may feel the way you do. If you are not comfortable with what the other woman want, the only logical thing to do is dismiss yourself from the activity.
I seriously don't think that anyone is 100% gay or straight. I think they may have strong preferences when it comes to having sex or something, but that should not condemn them to be either gay or straight.

#3
Lex

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To be fair I don't think anyone "suddenly becomes" any sexual orientation, you either are that way or you aren't. At fourteen I had my first girlfriend as came out as bi in a very conservative Catholic school, risking expultion when I was with my first girlfriend. I had two more before I ever dated a male, and I still strongly consider myself bisexual. I will also add that I have never cheated on anyone, I have never had a threesome, and I have never in fact had sex outside of a monogomous relationship.
Personally I think very few people are 100% monosexual, I know a lot of straight women that have slept with women and frankly lesbians that have slept with men after coming out (read: Bisexual girls are assumed to be accepting so a lot of us end up being the people you confess to for EVERYONE). There's a tremendous amount of pressure to be one or the other and it leaves a terrible stereotype of bisexuals being oversexed, confused, indecisive or lesbians/straight women "faking" attraction for the other sex. I think there are a lot of people that are unhappy in their relationships and recruit other people to try and make them more interesting, I have never seen a poly realtionship last over two years and I know a few girls who participated in threesomes and then left with the other woman. American culture sends the message that threesomes "are sexy and fun" but leaving a guy for a woman is "scary and weird" so some women I think use threesomes as a mental gray area where they don't have to admit that they're unhappy or that their boyfriend is unhappy. Others, straight up, believe that multiple people can pull of a realtionship and everyone can love each other which is admirable, I just have never seen it work.
Once in a blue moon I meet someone who wants attention and decides to grind on me or something at a club but the "fake bisexual" phenomenon I think is mostly real bisexuality with women feeling pressured to "pick a side" to be more attracted to. Barsexuals (they kiss if there is a cover) do happen, but I hope you approach your bisexual friends with a level of respect I don't see in your post. I get annoyed when couples approach me about stuff like that and I think many bisexual women do, but even the few that enjoy it shouldn't be treated badly. We're real people, and just like I expect from straight persons just because you don't feel that way doesn't give you the right to assume that we can't feel that way,

#4
shalee

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As an older lesbian identified woman I think there are many places on the sexuality continuum. I do believe some people are born Gay/Lesbian and that is there true identity. I believe some people have a more flexible sexuality that allows them to accept either sexual expression ; Gay/Straight. Having observed more open sexual countries like Denmark I'd say the acceptance of sexual expression that doesn't exploit allows a freedom of expression without repression or guilt. Because I was a 60's child and Feminism was a strong influence there seemed to be another aspect to my sexuality. It was almost a political statement,too. Though, as I once told a young man during a lesbian week-end "I don't hate men. That is the common misconception. The issure for me is that the soft curves of a woman, the way her mind works, the feel of her skin attract me the same way it attracts you."

#5
jlynn

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I came out when I was 18 when I was with my first girl friend, Since then I have been asked to be in several three-somes and declined every one. I am currently single yes but even so I wont have one.. Just not into it. I just stick to one girl at a time dating wise (guess im old school)

#6
bekahluv

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I'm old school too... One at a time... And as for everyone suddenly being bi, I think we all are, a little bit, in our own ways... Be it actually wanting to be with both genders, or just passing thought of what it might be like?!?!

#7
shalee

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Lex, I think the issue is that people may allow themselves to feel and express their previously repressed sexuality. I was unaware of the many bi-sxual assumptions you posted about. I believe your healthy, monogomous sexual expression is probably the true norm within the bisexual community. There will always be immature and unrefined/imcomplete personal evolution in any group.

#8
Wickedyke

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View Poststephye205, on 06 March 2012 - 04:43 AM, said:

Me, I am very young, only about 19 years old, and I consider myself bi. I guess everyone has their own reasons for choosing either to be bi or simply lesbian. Me, I don't take that a relationship needs to be gender orientated. It's all about what you are comfortable with. I may not know much, but I bet there may be a lot of women who feel the same way you do about the whole bi thing or others who may feel the way you do. If you are not comfortable with what the other woman want, the only logical thing to do is dismiss yourself from the activity.
I seriously don't think that anyone is 100% gay or straight. I think they may have strong preferences when it comes to having sex or something, but that should not condemn them to be either gay or straight.

Hola, wanted to weigh in on this - no dissing of bisexuals here, but I don't consider it a condemnation that I have super good proof that I was meant to be gay: male pheromones make me retch. Literally, the chemicals that males give off make me want to throw up. I'm a gold star lesbian and proud of it. It's difficult to go against the grain and peer pressure no matter what you're struggling with. Labeling yourself bisexual usually isn't a picnic either. To keep on thread, I don't end up with girlfriends who "turn bi" or even go on to date men - not generally, but I don't think that's to do with me so much as maybe with the women I choose to connect with? Nothing wrong with it, you or them, it just means that sexual orientation CAN be fluid, but need not be, and the label is much less important (or would be, in a perfect world) than the words and deeds of the individual people. Labels are for clothes and closets should only be used for storage, not living in :)





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