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Older..but Out Of Touch


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LynnLmca

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I am new to this site..and this forum..but suspect I may be one of the older women here..I'm 65.
So older..yes..wiser..sure..in some areas maybe..more experienced..definately..but what has now come to disturb me...deeply..is that when it comes to my own lesbian identity..and the lesbian community..I have fallen almost totally out of touch. The painful ending of a difficult ten year relationship..17 years ago..left me first confused and reeling..then decidedly misbehaving..then hybernating..in the woods..then retired..in the desert..where I still am. Slowly old friendships faded. Age..health..finances ended my wanderings. I adopted two dogs. I walk them in the desert..which stretches empty all the way to the mountains..right behind my back fence. I grew conent with my own company. I discovered..that for me..alone did not mean lonely. My
new friendships were all with women of my own generation. All intentionally single. All having traded romance..sex..and the associated trauma and drama..for spiritual exploration. I stopped eating meat and processed sugar. I started eating soy and granola. I lost weight. I felt great. Then I got breast cancer.
In remission now..and extremely graatteful to be..I have suddenly awakened to two very disturbing facts:
I am beyond over living in the isolation of this desert..and all of my friends here are straight. That is why I am planning to move to Portland,Oregon..my favorite city on earth..next spring (so I can live my way as slowly as possible back to winter)..and why I am on this site. Nice to meet you..I'm Lynn.





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