Some women have a fabulous experience in the personals or other social meeting apps, finding never ending platonic friends, lovers, significant others, activity partners, lesbian social networking opportunities, hookups, what have you . . . then they're solidly booked with social fun.

Other women tend to whine endlessly that . . .

"There are no really good women out there!"
"No one writes back to me!"
"Only the 'wrong' women write me!"

Then . . . those other women later proclaim something along the lines of, "This site just isn't working," or "The internet personals just can't work for someone like ME."

Those in the latter group should realize that it's never going to be the nebulous concept of "online personals" and/or "lesbian social networking" that's at fault.

It's YOU.

Sorry, but hey, reality check.

But instead of feeling insulted, realize that this bit of information could be helpful, because now that you've identified the glitch, you can get started fixing it and be that much closer to your personal version of happily ever after.

(Remember that timeless word chunk. . . "If you always do what you always did then you'll always get what you always got?")

While proximity to a progressively-minded urban area and/or how "picky" someone is in terms of their search options both play big parts, it's still undeniably the case that there are X factors above and beyond that.

What makes for online profile superstars vs. those that seem stuck warming the bench?

We do have a good bit of experience, based on not only our own collective trials and tribulations and massive screwups finding partners on the internet, but also what we've heard from thousands of other women that shared their experiences via lesbotronic.

No, we're not saying you have to do exactly what we say or face certain failure or disappointment. Your individual results may always vary.

Furthermore, the personals questionnaire itself attempts to exhibit a more crowd-pleasing generic-ness, but this area of the site features a bit more take-it-or-leave-it edginess. And, in case you didn’t notice, that last sentence does include the "leave it" option.

If you're an old pro with the personals and have always experienced exactly the success you desired, you may want to ignore this area entirely and stay on your own unique gameplan.

BUT if you:

 are new to the personals and are hoping for the best experience possible

 haven't used any social site for awhile

 wondered how you could be more effective

 would feel more comfy with a bit of sensible advice to get you started

 wondered why the responses you got before from various social sites weren't as numerous, as high in quality, and/or as well-suited to your personality and interests as you would have liked

AND you're willing to put in at least a reasonable minimum of effort to predispose a good or better experience . . .

. . . this oft-requested section is here for you.

Please understand that our suggestions are written with the intention of helping lots of women meet lots of other women for the relationships they desire. (That means not everything was intended to apply to you personally, but it possibly applies to you and definitely applies to many, so that's why it's in here, folks.)

Furthermore, we’d also appreciate it if you read our suggestions with your sense of humor firmly lodged in the “ON” position too.


We understand some do not prefer feminine pronouns, but rather the gender-neutral they and/or a variety of others. While our goal is never to disrespect anyone, the grammatical and stylistic contortions required to include most we've already heard plus update for anything new would fatigue the average woman to the point of never wanting to type anything ever again for the rest of her natural life.

Thus, most of our sentences will seem to assume a female or gender-neutral gender ID. If that's not your preference, please mentally substitute your referent of choice and feel just as included too. Thanks for understanding.

feedback on our advice?

We ARE sincerely interested if you have a bright idea involving something we should ADD.

Otherwise, you get to have your opinion; this section is ours. We’re compelled to present ours here because we’re asked for it about a gawillion times more than most humans on this topic.

proceed to #1: general recommendations -->