For those of you who don't wanna have kids and live in a time and place where there's like, pressure to do so, there's some interesting stuff on Salon. Articles and such.

I didn't link because I haven't read the faq through yet and I don't know if that's kosher.

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The issues around having or raising kids are pretty important ones. I want to settle down with a nice girlfriend, in a little house, with a little yard, and adopt some little ones. Choosing the place to do that would be pretty important also.

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Posting links is cool, Fat Ephiny! Well, hopefully folks can try to keep it topically relevant . . . don't just link to random porno sites or try to promote non-relevant commercial enterprises . . . you know, behave. :roll:

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I wanted to have three or four kids, but the way things are going with me now, I'll probably one have one. I'm 26 right now and I don't have any prospects of finding a man or a woman to start having kids. What about invetro-infertilization (sp?)? Has any one does this and does any one know anything on this topic?

Yours,

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Hey! I'm 26 and completely single and that's not going to stop me from having lotsa tots, if I want 'em. We could meet a wonderful partner, fall in love, and have kids in two years (28 ) and have 3 or 4 before our biological clocks stop ticking.

I would LOVE to have kids! The only thing that would stop me would be finances and my health. I just saw my baby cousin and she reminded me how much I want to be a breeder. LOL

That's Dandy :roll:

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Good luck to all who want kids. Not a personal choice. I am happy with my cat and dog. Besides, I am not the settle down type. I want to travel and I never live in the same place more than a year (1.5 max). I don't see that changing. I have the perfect career to afford my lifestyle. But even though it is not my choice, I think it is great that you gals want to provide a stable and wonderful home to kids. Do you want your own or do you prefer to adopt? Random question that I have always wondered.

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Hey Teoria,

But even though it is not my choice, I think it is great that you gals want to provide a stable and wonderful home to kids. Do you want your own or do you prefer to adopt? Random question that I have always wondered.

I've definitely thought about it. I'm not sure i'm the "settle down type" either... i like to travel, and my life is quite full... but my partner's definitely talked about kids. sometimes i look around and i see so many kids who don't get what they need -- either physically or emotionally. i try to be a safe grownup for the kids i know, someone who supports them and listens to them but who doesn't have the power to scold or punish. i had someone like that when i was growing up, and i will be eternally grateful! so sometimes i think that's my role it kids' lives... and i think that kids need so many people, you know? different kinds of people in different ways.

on the other hand, sometimes i think about foster parenting, especially with queer kids. there are tons of kids out there who don't have anywhere safe to go. often queer kids who get kicked out of their homes or run out of their communities because of homophobia end up in my city... it's really the only major urban area in the whole of mainland nova scotia (which is geographically pretty big). the local queer youth project matches up homeless kids with queer (or queer friendly) homes, and i've definitely thought about doing that.

on the other hand, i really don't know if i'm cut out for it. not everyone is... anyone else wondering about that?

troublemaker

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I am a true believer in adoption to a certain extent...if you're a fucked up bird...leave the kiddies alone, money and shelter aren't everything...

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I have a 14 yr old son. He is my biological child. Having him is the best, most wonderful thing I have ever done. His father was an idiot to me, but I would do it all over again, just to have my son.

I would like to have one more, but, at 39, I'm not so sure it will happen. I am not in the right place, financially. I will be returning to school and will not have enough time for a little one.

I can see how children are not for everyone, though. My friends have Guinea pigs. I think they are cute and soft. I will never have one because I have no interest. I guess kids can be kinda like that, lol. Don't let anyone tell you that you are being selfish by not having them. Not everyone is capable nor interested in having kids. Some people don't want to expose a child to the atmosphere we have on this planet today. Actually, I think having kids is selfish. You ensure that your DNA continues on, at least for a while. And, hey, they can be taught to do housework. lol.

I think when I am in a better place I may adopt a gay child. I have thought about adopting, but not a gay child until I started reading some of these posts. Thanks for the idea.

If you want to have kids, don't let anything stop you; it will be the most rewarding thing you do. If you don't want to have kids, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this very personal decision.

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My friends have always joked with me about pulling a Madonna move like The Next Best Thing--having a baby with my best gay male friend. I like good kids and I want to have 2 or 3 some day soon, although I haven't given much thought to the getting pregnant process, I think I'll deal with that when it comes. Does anyoe have children through any of the currently prescribed methods? Does anyone have a good working relationship with their child's father, or even know their child's father?

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I have two great kids from my marraige and i am the same opinion as roo i would go throught it all again if only to have my kids.....Myself and their father do get on fairly well(i suppose we should after being together 11yrs) but i do think that will change when i eventually do come "out" and then we'll see how we get on then :shock:

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My partner and I are currently in the planning stages, ans will be trying to conceive in September of next year. We have a known donor and are very ready. I am extremely excited to start a family, and to start redefining all those institutions - motherhood, the family you name it!

Edited: to fix a sentence

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I can understand those who have the more free-spirited lifestyle not wanting to give that up. I was like that before my daughter was born. Before her I kept irregular hours, went out whenever I wanted to, moved to a new state on a whim, changed careers like they were last season's clothes...

But then she came along. Do I miss my old life? Of course! I feel that I had more free-will then. If I wanted to do anything, no matter what it was, it was for the most part only affecting me. Now I have to stay at a job that although may not be my dream job or making me feel like I'm contributing to the greater good, but it pays the bills. Of course I miss the disposable income as well. But as most will say, I wouldn't change it for the world. Being able to do all of those things were great, but now I have purpose.

But this life is definately not the life for. I know that there are plenty of people out there who just do not have it in them to raise a child. It's not a weakness, it's just a trait. And of course there are those people that shouldn't be raising a goldfish much less a child. I guess what I'm getting at is it's a personal choice that shouldn't be taken lightly or whimsically at all. When they say it will change your life forever...they're not kidding! For better mostly...but there is also the for worse.

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I personally don't think I am wrothy enough to bring a child into this world, there is so much power and responsibility in having a child just because. I'll adopt a child in a heart beat, I just have to be in a relationship to do it.

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Hi ladies!

I am 29 that ticking you hear is my biological clock and if it ticks any louder Homeland security will be stopping me at airports or off the street :lol: ... In all seriousness honestly believe it takes a village to raise a child. The child is the product of not only the parents but the family, friends, and community that encompasses its realm of existence.

I love to travel, and I have a very busy job. But I would love to have the dream. A wife, some kids, a dog or 2, and a house (picket fence optional.) :wink:

Anyone know good communities that are open to gay families? I would hate to raise children somewhere where they would ridicule my children, or worse be unsafeā€¦

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My b-clock was ticking really hardcore from 16-20. For some reason, I felt I had to have the hubby, house, career, and be popping out kiddies by age 24. I was supposed to marry my high school sweetheart last spring. However, at 22 I'm single, still not out of grad school, and finally happy. Plus, I heard the horror stories about my cousin's recent child-birthing (tearing before they could give an episiotomy, 2 hours of pushing, etc) and I want none of that. I told my mother I was either going to adopt or get a breeder girlfriend.

I figure I still have until my late 30's to decide (I'll also be more stable then). I just barely tolerate male lovers, so the hubby route isn't for me. I may just select a man to make a baby with and let him play uncle if he wants any kind of involvement in that childs life. Farming out my eggs sounds like a nice option, too. And if my fertility fails me, I'll adopt.

I'm just really glad my mother isn't reading this O.o

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I've known I wanted to be a mom since I was 10. I made the choice to ignore the urges until I was ready because I knew it would be unfair to bring a kid into the world without being able to support it. Right now, I am finally at my most financially stable. I would love to get pregnant but I have some health issues to work out. And I really would love to share a child with a partner.

So...we'll see.

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I am a single lesbian who is actually seeking a single mother with kids. I love kids and want them in my life. I want to have a nice family and I've recently played the "on the run" field, but I think I'm happier when I'm settled down with a family.

I work for Dept. of children and families in florida and of course here, if you are gay/lesbian, you can't adopt. Isn't it a shame that there are so many of us who love/want kids but can't because of our sexual preference. I mean, what's that got to do with raising a child? Working for DCF, I've seen parents come in messed up on drugs, etc. and they sign their rights over to the state. I've seen their kids and wow, they are so cute and i always wonder "why".

I just think it's a shame that in some states, gays can't adopt...know what i mean?

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I am a mother a 3 , 2 boys and 1 girl .. I have married once and it was a mistake , wish I never married him .. I married him for all the wrong reasons .. If I could go back I would never have married him but then I wouldnt have my 3 kids that keep me moving and brights my world every day .. They are a joy and if I ever found the right woman I would love to have another child or even adopt .. I know that would be a big family to have to deal with and I know its hard to find someone who would want to be with someone who has kids already , thats a big responsiblity but just maybe there is someone huh ..

Lela :?

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I have a 15 yr old and a 8 yr old. Both are boys. I also adopted two kids one from www.christianchildrensfund.org and the other from www.worldvision.org I had asked for the kids no one wanted. I got a 8 yr old from lusaka Zambia and a 15 yr old from lusaka zambie :) Well they were almost 3 years younger when i signed up. It only cost 25.00 for one and 30.00 for the other. The other two kids are with my ex's. I had to resolve my gender issues and i wasn't about to put that presure on them or their peers or my family. But i do pay support. the one gets from 600.00 to 800.00 a month while the older one gest from 400.00 to 600.00 a month. The moms are good women and eat good food and don't drink or smoke.. grrr when i think or see parents who smoke and do it around their kids or anyone i think send em to jail.. any way.. Kids are special and it takes $ and love.. its not about having kids for your own desires... its about supporting all the children of the world and knowing that kids are individuals and just because they may or may not have your blood they should be respected as individual spirits.

Myself i love all my kids and the twi in Lusaka are just as important to me as my own kids. They are all my own kids... I even last year adopted well kinda.. a 27 yr old parolee who's dad is a pot grower and who wouldn't help him.. He is a good kid.. He just got off parole august 8th the same day my ex and my 8yr old came across the USA to visit me after a few yrs.. You see the miracle how by loving all the spirits above gave me a week with my one son..

yes kids are not toys that we show off.. they are individuals... they need to be respected as such... even some of us who are older are still kids at heart and we need love too.. :)

Please think dearly about this because i have seen how kids are hurt by moms who don't want a boy and feel stuck or moms and dads who barely take care of their kids or Dads who abuse their kids or moms too.. we all know the truths of how kids suffer ...

so if you want to have kids maybe you might plan a little bit more and don't look at them as something that will get you a new toy..

Please share the positive things now and not your own desires.. The spirits above will give you the desires of your heart if you are true to self and not all about ego...

Start helping your neighbors kids and relatives kids and adult children etc etc etc .. show yourself that you have much to give by YOUR ACTIONS not by your WANTS ..

I hope and pray that this reaches those who need to hear these words.. Know that these words are not my own but they are given to me to share by the spirits above who have guided my life and helped me see the light and the truth..

bye love Danielle

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I have a 15 year old daughter.....She is my world and has been raised around gay, sta8 & bi people....I am glad I was honest w/her about my lifestyle....

She has "gaydar"...I just giggle when she calls me on it....

~Ladyfire~

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We have two. Our daughter is 4yo and our son is 4months. We are each a biological mother and we love our little family and our life together. We live a very ordinary suburban life - some (straight) friends say we are the straightest couple they know! Our donor/dad is a dear (gay) friend of many years and he's a minor part of our family too. Our next move is to talk him into the next one or two!

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Glad to see Im not the only single parent on here or the only parent on here. I have a 2 year old little girl. From a relationship with my best friend. It didnt go well. He left us, got married, and now denies her. But hey people can be stupid. I think the main reason he left us was because he couldnt face having a child with someone he couldnt be in a relationship with or marry.

I do plan on settling down with the right woman one day and having oodles of children weither it be adoption or iis. Since I am 21 I figure I have time. I just hope my daughter grows up understanding and accepting the lifestyle.

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I am a butch mom with 2 boys 11 and 2yrs old. My 11yr old has never seen me with a man because his father was the last man I was with. My 2yr old was conceived thru artificial insemination. Our donor was my best guy friend. I was with my partner for a total of 5yrs and just recently separated. She is no longer in the picture but the donor being my best friend is. As it's sad that my babys other momma is not involved I feel so fortunate that his donor plays such an active role in both of my boys life.

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