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Personality or Looks?

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I'm not very emotional, I fail at romance, and I don't understand women at all. I tend to prefer the dominant role in a relationship, as well. I like sports, and camping, and hunting, and beer and titties.. Basically all your stereo-typical "man activities".


I like some labels, They can be a great way to describe yourself to other ppl. but I also think we've taken the label idea to far. I've read over 100 label definitions in the past wk and half made no sense and the other was boderline redundant. Personally I label myself as a hard butch/stud. It works, it's basic, and the most important part I know what it means lol.


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As far as looks go, I get called femme. I'm not ultra femme, and I don't look exactly girly, but I'm very feminine in everything I do. Internally, I'm a massive nerd. Btw, Pheonix... Something about your face reminds me of Ellen Page.


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I'm pretty new to this myself and it's something that's also completely confused me. In my last relationship I took on more of the submissive role in most things and everyone considered my personality femme so I got labeled a lipstick lesbian (noticed that I got labeled and not that I labeled myself.) My ex looked femme, adored make up, but dressed in a more butch way and always associated herself as the guy in both her group of friends and in our relationship. Then again when i'm not with someone I usually take on a really dominant role and some people have called me butch for the role I take with my friends. It's so confusing! I feel like you womyn are extremely versatile in their personalities and it's impossible to just push us into one label. It kinda makes me think of those panties that have a different word personality for each day. We're ever changing.


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I love that we are talking about this; when I first started searching for love prospects on AOL years ago, I was always asked: Are you butch or femme?
It really turned me off, I guess because I didn't have a definite answer, and I wanted to say: How about getting to know me a little before asking such a personal question? OK I'm just myself. That's what I usually tell people. I don't know. Today I may have to change out my broken trash disposer (a butch thing to do?) and tomw I may be seeing a woman I like, who appreciates my eye shadow (femme)
I am in the same boat as you, BauboBBW. I enjoyed your various descriptions. I can relate entirely.
When I was younger, I probably exhibited more femme qualities, but now that I'm older and more independent, and strong, I feel more at home in men's clothes and men's shoes. But I still wear my hair long, and I know how to turn on the fem charm, if I have to be a little assertive, then I don't worry ....does this appear butch to other people? Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!
I know I like feminine women. I do know some whose personalities are very strong. Does that make them butch? No. I think it's more about how you're perceived. To be a whole person, we just need to embrace all that we are, and nothing is set in stone. Cut your hair if you want to. So what?
No one has ever called me a butch or dyke to my face. Does this mean people think I'm femme? Maybe, until open my mouth and start talking like I know what I'm talking about. Or until they see me walking.
Anyway, thank you for being honest, everyone. This really helps me. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin, and not try to fit into someone's cookie cutter description, just to have a girlfriend. Anyway, it's all good, and being one or the other, or both at the same time, is all a gift, that we give to each other.


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After giving this much thought, I have decided to keep my jeans, sneakers, oversize tops, sexy dresses, makeup, kick-ass attitude, big-ass car and let peiople spend their time trying to figure me out !


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I think it's more a label for appearance reference. But then again you could 'appear' butch but not have a masculine personality, then things get confusing after that... hahaha . basically what everyone else has already said...i'm just trying post something. lol.


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View PostEmberPhase, on 10 May 2004 - 10:35 PM, said:

Oh Dandy dear! We MUST talk! hehehe :twisted: :D

you sound like fun! ;)
Live. Laugh. Love.


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my my ,, i got a feminine body and a masculine heart....

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Edited by cnthink_straight22, 20 June 2012 - 01:11 PM.


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I guess im like a tomboy but femme. But I have no idea what to consider myself as, except just me.


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hmm apparently I'm femme but I can be butch but to me it doesn't really matter
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