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Here we are....errr....here I are.....anybody else here yet?

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Hey y'all! I'm 42, been out for 22+ years, coming back into the singles scene in an active way for the first time in about 13 years, and having a hard time at and with the clubs...... Anybody else in this boat? How're you dealing with it?

When I was coming out, Rubyfruit Jungle and Ann Bannon was hot, as was Tales of the City, & the only queer on TV was the Jodie, the incomparable Billy Crystal on SOAP, and bars were virtually the only way to meet. What a difference 20 years makes....... :)
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

- Truman Capote


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Other than age, I am at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. In a few short hours I'll be 36.

I am only out in real life to a few very close people ( and less than a year) and have not yet been involved with anyone.

Too many years spent in deep denial I guess.

I have yet to go to a club, somehow the very idea does not appeal to me. given that, it limits the range of possibiltes of meeting someone.

Btw I do remember Billy Crystal playing Jodie in SOAP- for those of you who are too young- if its still in syndication some where he's definitely worth watching!!
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better
--William Shakespeare

Fat Ephiny

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Happy Birthday pixel!


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Hey pixel, Happy Birthday. I think this is the 600th post and you're 36 and that's ironic. Right? Ok, so I don't get irony exactly. :oops: I'm not really blushing. :D
Drummers do it better...in Rhythm


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Hey :wink:
I'm 33 years old and I've never been to a gay bar or and gay scene for that matter. I am the "shy" type and would probably shrink under the bar and sneak out the door with my tail between my legs. (that's a figure of speech by the way). Just incase I receive replies...anywayyyyy....

I have no idea how I'm going to meet my next partner, but I am hoping it's just about me, being me and attracting a kind, compassionate woman with that effort alone. I was once told that I am the hunted, not the hunter. That is true. I think I either have to change my "hunting" ways or just wait. I'm learning patience as I get older and apparently wiser, but c'mon already, give me a break :lol:

I met a woman over an internet ad, and it did not work out. But we are good friends nevertheless. Who knows how it all works, how it will happen for each of us. All I can say is if you keep shining, you're light will be seen by the one person you probably never dreamt of meeting.

Here's hoping.

Nicole :twisted:


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Wow, if older and wiser is you youngsters, where the heck do I hang out. I am 58 years old biologicaly, but in my mind I am in my 30's. I am newly single. I lost my lover to breast cancer about 3 months ago. We were in a wonderful long term 19 year relationship. She was my first lesbian lover. So this is gonna be tough to go out and find someone new. I know it is probably too soon to be looking, but I am very loney, and do not really have any lesbian friends. I don't drink, smoke, or do bar scenes. I live in a fairly small city in Wisconsin. Don't know where to look for companionship of like minded people. I have a tendency to get attracted to straight women, and have already got a mad crush on one. That only adds to my grief and pain, cause I know I can never have her. She loves me as a friend, but that's all it can ever be. She is married on top of everything else. Would love to chat with you gals on here.


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Okay, I know that was bad grammar, but I"m just going along with the thread.
I'm 26 goin' on 27 in September. I'm neither older nor wiser, but I thought I would comment on a few of the posts here.
Starseed, I am very sorry to hear about your lover who past away from breast cancer. There is nothing I can say to help you other than you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nicolevf, I've never been too hot about the bar scene either. I have been a couple of times with friends and i was only there to get drunk and have fun--not really to pick up on people. However, I've never been to a gay bar so . . . it may have been different for me! LOL :lol: Anyway, the love of your life will show up! Never fear, my darling.
~Never discuss politics or religion with friends or family because opinions are like assholes-- everyone has one and everyone thinks everyone else’s stinks.~


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Hewwo :)

Firstly to StarSeed, I am very sorry for your loss. You will meet again when the time is right, but it sounds like you have some more experiencing of life to do. I often have crushes on straight women, but they are only ever crushes. Once I know that friendship is all we are meant for, I seem to switch off, it's a funny lil thing. Lonliness is a hard concept to deal with, feeling that missing piece, unable to fill the gap they left behind. Whilst we are down here grieving, they are living it up in love and joy and in a way, you wish you were with them so the sadness and lonliness would go away.
I have no real advise Star, because I'm shy and don't get out there myself, if I knew I'd tell ya :)
I guess you could ask yourself "What would Love do now?".

Secondly, hi Pagan ;)
Yeah, the gay bar thing is also very clicky, so I hear. I think it's like any club...there's just something icky about them for me. I was never good at standing around, unable to hear anything and pretend I was having fun. I'm guessing love is not far for anyone in the way they wish it to be. But we are the love of our lives and I'm choosing to think that if we are happy with ourselves, and I mean not pretending, then naturally love will come our way.

Here's hoping

Nic xx


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Hmmmm older or wiser? well I am older but don't know if I am wiser.....each day is a new beginning to me and a new start for something new.
I like being older and I tend to not act my age at times but does that make me older and wiser or younger and old?
Just a thought.
I get along with everyone old or young and people tend to come to me for advice,not that I know so much.
Don't wrap it up,I'll eat it here :-)


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Tell me where you can meet other women without going to the bars????lol....I know there are other women out there but they are so clickish. Why are some women so clickish? I see lesbian women everyday and they are so closeted that it's hard to make friends.I live in a small town and it's just not the thing to do here. I am not from here I moved here from Sf and have lived here for over 12 yrs now but still find it hard to meet other lesbians here.
Anyway just another thought.

Don't wrap it up,I'll eat it here :-)

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