no longer active member

Is there only "one"?

Hi, Nicole here 

I have decided that I can have sex with a partner I feel close with because that's one way I express my feelings for them. Or, I need a written statement from the other that nothing will get "weird".

I've had one, one-night stand with a woman and I felt yuk later. I had a 7 year relationship with a man and that was totally monogamous. I had sex with a woman for sex sake, and after swearing she wouldn't want more, she did. I'd like to think I'm a woman of experience, able to lure women into my lair and have crazy, raw sex...but alas *sigh* I'm not.

I'm a sillyheart, a dreamer, and I just want to share my body with one person at a time. I feel cheap otherwise. There's no "right" or "wrong" way of expressing yourself sexually. It is all about what serves you well.

Any other romantic sillyhearts out there? Any women who know how to "not" want more than just sex?

I'd love to hear from all



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Hey Nicole.

I have no problems at all with this. I can go in, do my thing, and come out without a glance back at the other person. It really just depends on who you are.

That said, sometimes sex isn't just sex. It's this amazing, intimate thing that leaves you aching for more, even if it wasn't the greatest sex in the world. That sex, though, really does go beyond physical attraction. I know that I can't just leave it at a one-night stand if it is not only my nether-regions that tingle when my prey smiles at me.

Actually, seeing as we're on this topic, a woman in one of those women magazines, like Cleo or Cosmo or something like that, did an experiment a few years ago to see if she could hire a male prostitute and not want more than just his services. It didn't work. The next day she was deperate to call him.

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Nicole, I agree with Melissa: it depends on who you are. Actually, it depends on what sex means to you. I mean if it is just fun or a way of expressing yourself, then you can have sex for sex's sake; but if it is an intimate experience that means something personal to you, then you will probably never be able to have simple unattached sex. It all has to do with perception. What does sex mean to you? Is it a neccessary way of expressing your love to your partner or is it a way to pass time and have a little fun.

Personally, it depends on the person I am with. Did friendship come first or second. I also always talk about what it means to that person. We have to agree as to what it will mean before; therefore, there can be no misunderstandings.

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"Is there only one?" No, not really. And, therein lies a potential problem, as it can be a dream come true or a nightmare, inversely, in various relationships. One person's dream come true can be another person's nightmare. The key is to be honest with yourself and the other(s) involved.

Personally, I participate fully in a relationship (mentallly, physically, and spiritually) and don't feel that I can do that successfully, if I am spreading myself too thin. I prefer the connectedness of uno / uno.

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I think we should love everyone but we shouldn't sleep with everyone that we love.

I do not understand polyamory so I try not to judge.

Everyone is free to live how they choose.

I want to be the one and only for someone.

That is how I choose to live.

Edited by Elisheba

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