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Guest Anonymous

Raising a Family...?

Ok....here's the deal, growing up, for the summer time I use to go and stay in the Bronx...with my aunt and 4 cousins...my aunt has always been involved in a relationship with a woman, but always insisted that they were "just friends"...now that I look at it, I always wonder if she kept her sexuality...a secrect because she and her "friend" were raising 4 girls...or did she keep it a secret..because, she just didn't want us to know...everyone knew...but she never "came out" per se....

Do you think she didn't come out because she was raising 4 children...or do you think she was scared....I mean, one day I want to have a shitload of kids...I just don't want them to be ashamed of my sexuality...drop a line...do you, or do you not want to have kids???

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I am just deathly afraid of having children...I worked for 2 years to get my abs like this and...just kidding :lol: ...I just don't wanna fuck up..with my children the way I see some parents fuck up with their kids...Oh well I guess I'll adopt...

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My sister just had a baby, and I want one sooo fucking bad...its just that when she starts crying, I have to leave the room...lol..what is a girl to do.

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I think this is a very good thread and should be discussed more often by women of color. I think women of color who are lesbian and who are raising children with their partner have it twice as hard as any other group of women who are lesbian and are raising children. The african-american community is so homophobic that it's sickening, now add that to the joy of having/raising a family and your getting it from both directions because they look at it as you're already ruining your life by sleeping with the same sex why drag children into it. I think the best piece of advice I can give women of color who are lesbian and want to have children is to be prepared to answer a lot of questions and dry a lot of tears. I believe if you are openly affectionate with one another in front of your children they will not see this kind of love/affection as abnormal. But when they start school they may have to deal with being the only kid in the class who has two mommys, but the way the world has changed I doubt they'll be the only kid in the class with two mothers or two fathers. The best thing to do is teach tolerance and shy away from the word normal because what it all boils down to is that none of us are normal. Everyone has their own fucked up issues.

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