hi folks, this was posted by Tinker in another thread a while ago...
[quote] At one 'woman's' bar in particular, the crowd is usually 18-25, and bi, and they bring their straight boyfriends who spend the evening getting drunker and drunker, and end up in arguments with the older lesbians......usually the ones they admittedly refer to as "dykes", or "butches", and actually think its acceptable to refer to us that way before they know us.[/quote]
yow. this really struck me as a whole bunch of sad things all rolled into one spot. for one thing, there's the put-downs of older women. then there's the assumptions about roles, apparently based on ageism and a pretty screwed up understanding of queer history. then, there's the whole issue of being bi, wanting to date the guy you're attracted to (and who maybe really connects with you around other identities like class, race, subculture, etc), but then having to deal with his sexism and/or homophobia. argh.
at the same time, as a young bi woman, i can't help but wince, because i start wondering, are people thinking the queer community would be better off without bi people? Tinker, I realize that's a far cry from what you're saying above! but I have certainly experienced biphobia within queer communities, and one of the ways it happens is for bi women to get blamed for shitty things that some men have done. so I can't help having that fear at the back of my mind.
so what's up with this? has anyone else experienced something like this, from any of the various perspectives? and what's up with age-based segregation in the queer community? is it more pronounced than in the straight world? who here has queer friends who are from a significantly different age category than themselves? any thoughts on why or why not?
what about ageism against younger or just-coming-out folks for being "too young" or "inexperienced"? tell me more.
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Wow, I see Tinker is not the only one who has seen/experienced this in her life. I've seen a similar situation in my home town in one of the only gay/lesbian coffee houses in the city. It was a Friday night, around 9 ad there was a group of bi women and their boyfriends who caused this horrific scene with a group of gay males at the table behind them. I guess one of the straight males made a negative comment about gay males and that's when it got out of control. Anyway, the waitress (who was a lesbian) served us and aplogized for the fight but also said "I hate when they bring their men in here, why can't they just go back to their homophobic world and leave us alone." Other people near us heard her comments and started to chime in. But I know what you mean about bisexuals being blamed for incidents that occur within the gay/lesbian community that really were not caused by them, but their other half.
Sometimes you stand on the edge of a cliff and you jump. You jump because you're tired of being scared. Sometimes you jump just to feel the fall
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