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New & Scared

Hello all,

I am new to this lifestyle, I am finally facing my lesbian feelings and after a recent divorce (married him just because I thought it would be good for me, not because I loved him...ended up abused for 12 yrs).

I have decided (in my head) that I want to try it...met a few people on the net, not in person (who liked me anyway)...I have not changed anything about me (the way I dress etc) and since I am more of a femme than a butch and am pretty large in all the right places  (have had many men make passes at me since I was 16)...I didn't think it would show...or that other women would know...but somehow they do....(still trying to get my mind around that one!)

then I was in a clinic waiting for some perscriptions the other day and this butch (real sexy!) walks in and after walking around the waiting room sits right accross from me and gives me a shit eating grin....after a min she gets up and acts cool as hell, leaning backwards on the counter to tell the nurse she has an appointment, like she is in some bar land looking right at me. I felt more like a prey and that she was going to kill me, rather than want me to go out with her.

After about 20 min of me being very quiet and not knowing what to do, she sighs heavily and and has a little temper tantrum...btw...this woman could easily have been my age! 42!.....some people!

I just didn't know what to say, not that I didn't like the way she looked, I have been so used to running (physically or emotionally) when a man made a pass at me that I felt that I would say something stupid rather than get the message across to her that I liked her.

Any suggestions? How does one respond to a desirable pass? Any suggestions to what I could have done differently?

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Even thought I have recently been out of a 17 year relationship for a year now. I don't feel any more comfortable about meeting women then you.

Like you, I probably would have sat there and been quiet. Then on the way home, thought that I could have at least struck up a conversation with her. I mean, is it so hard asking her something even if it sounded stupid? Unfortunately for me it is as well. 

Sometimes we have to force ourselves to say or do something. It is better to do something, then nothing at all. Especially, when you know the other person is interested as well.

I just take a few deep breaths and think of something that if fitting for the situation. I still need alot of practice, but I feel better about myself for not letting the moment pass.

I hope this is helpful.

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thank you, thank you so very much! It was very, very helpful!...I am learning and growing. I have actually had some very good experiences. I have stopped hiding. In october I went to a brunch with some women from a local yahoo group. I have become friends with one of the women and she invited me to a holloween party. There I met one of her friends (not her partner!), and have a great connection, friendship with her friend. I am now going to church with both of them. I am trying to get to know her friend and pursuing this relationship as best I can. It is taking time, but I guess all really good relationships take time. I have found someone that seems to understand me and is able to communicate on my level.

We (Sharon and I ) hit it off at the party and spent about 4 hours talking. At midnight when she had to go I felt that my dearest and best friend was leaving me. I could have talked with her for days without stopping! was wonderful!


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I was at a girls house that I am very attracted to.We were just hanging out and drinking a little.She was kind of drunk at one point and I leaned over and kissed her(she kissed me back).I'm always flirting with her...touching her,smacking her ass and smiling.But ever since the night that I kissed her..I don't know what to think.I asked her if she liked the kiss and she told me she did.But ever since then I've been waiting to see if she'll make the next move.We had gone out to the pool one day and I had on a bikini.I kept seeing her looking at me..but her daughter was there so we couldn't do anything(she's only 3).What should I do?Should I just give up on her because it's a lost cause or should I keep pursuing it.

I'm just very shy..I wish I wasn't.

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I haven't done much dating or flirting before. Mostly because I wasn't really interested in dating guys and wasn't sure why until I came out to myself fairly recently. So does anyone more experianced have some tips to share? Like what kind of places are the best go to to meet women? Not sure I'm too keen on the bar scene so any other good alternatives?

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