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Lesbians who look at men!

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I have a question? Okay I like to look at men nude (not at all to the extent of when I was calling myself being straight), I think some are cute hell I've even went to see male strippers with my straight friends. BUT I have absolutly no desire to have a relationship with a man or sleep with a men (I did enjoy the strip show). And with women I pretty much like them 100%. are there any other lesbians on here who have some sort of attraction to men but don't consider themselves bi?

Ray Gay :twisted:

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It's funny that you posted this because I've had some questions along these same lines. So... my situation is, I fantasize about having sex with men, but it's focus is on the penetration part of it, rather than the actual male physique. However, I have NOOOO desire to have sex with a man or a relationship with one. I am very attracted to women and love having sex with women but when it comes to my "private" bedroom, my lesbian fantasies (unless I'm fantasizing about an actual girlfriend, etc) are always lackluster. I find it difficult to conjur real and arousing scenarios involving two women rather than one man and one woman.

Anyone have any ideas? I know I didn't answer your question, because well... I'm asking the same question I guess.

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Well, I consider myself bi (mostly) so I'm not sure I qualify to answer this :) Though, at this point in my life I find it HIGHLY unlikely that I would have a relationship of any type with a man.

Anyway, I don't think that thinking about men is a bad thing, or even that it negates any type of lesbian feelings and/or desires. I may be wrong, but it's probably biological. Such as PromiseTomorrow and thinking about penetration. That's probably just your body saying, hey, I was made for this so gimme! But that doesn't mean that anything would be mentally satisfying. (to include an actual sexual act with a man) Or even physically if it were to actually happen (since a lot of it is mental as well).

To me, it's only human to be able to appreciate the human form and enjoy it, or even be aroused by it, in all it's forms.

And anyway, if you identify as lesbian then that's what you are. Finding pleasure in the male form doesn't make you any less lesbian unless YOU decide it does.

Well, that's just my .02 :)

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I identify as a lesbian, but still have sex with men. I don't identify as bi because, while I can sleep with the occasional guy, I can't connect emotionally. Sexual identity is more than just the act of sex in my book.

Not very many straight people see it this way, however.

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I think many types of human bodies are beautiful to look at. I am "TOTALLY a lesbian" (my friends description, not mine),in that; I've never slept w/ a man and I connect to woman-only on an emotional/relationship level. I could very well enjoy a good strip show, a book of male physiques or even flirting w/ the opposite sex. As for my bedroom fantasies; well I would be lying to say that I haven't been "programmed by society" to equate penetration and the male sex organ as being parts of the same conceptualization........ but I love sex with a woman with and without penetration. And I have been teased a million times about givin' a cute guy a second glance. No matter what "Label" I give myself; I figure if I don't know WHO I am by now at age 48, then I'm not truly growing as a human being! Also I'm a big fan of the opinions of Margaret Mead (Author & Anthropologist) and she stated that we are all born "Bisexual" and then sort of re-program ourselves into various degrees of mindset Re: sexuality as we develop. We might be or feel really "Butchy" about some things and really "Femme" about others - regardless of what actual "Sex" we are born into.

I think that it is our business only what "turns us off & on", unless we choose to share it; but we don't have to be embarassed or ashamed of it. I remember having a girlfriend who was sexually aroused by watching men's gymnastics or all those tallented/flexible men in the Cirque de Soliel; but who wouldn't even consider going to bed w/ a man. My own girlfriend is often aroused by many sights and sounds out in public and will just remain true to me. So she'll call me, from time to time; announcing that she "needs to be 'serviced' right away"!!!!! I know better than to keep her waiting long....... and that is why we do so well together, too. Honesty & Communication are essential! You'd be surprised how many lesbians identify w/ sex on so many different levels, in their mind and with their body. It is certainly possible to like and even love men without ever wanting to make love to them. Likewise it is possible to enjoy the act of sex w/ a man (my humble non-experienced opinion only) without being "In Love" w/ men. Sex is sex and Love is love and they don't always come together. Just my 2 cents.

I do hope more women have a few words to share on this subject.

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That's an interesting question.

I've looked at guys before, and for a long time I thought I was bi... but I don't think that's the case anymore. I like to look at guys, yeah, but that enjoyment stops when the guy's clothes come off. I think it's fairly common, not unlike the way gay guys will admire an attractive woman.

of course, being a pre-op transgirl has a way of coloring such things. twenty years of life trying to be a guy... having seen guys in the locker room in junior high and high school may be affecting my perception of the matter.

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Okay sweet. I don't feel so weird now! :-D Thanks a lot girlies, you always make me feel better!

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It is really releaving to here that other lesbians also think about guys sometimes. I've been wondering if I might be bi, but I really have no desire to actually date a man. Some of my "friends" have been giving me a hard time because I don't "look like a lesbian" (whatever that means).

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My theory is that because we, as humans, are visual beings, when we see a man tuned on, that picture goes right to our limbic system, which is what gives us our sexual drive. And that picture is a turn on, therefore some women are turned on because of the sight of someone being turned on, whether it is male or female. Males are just more obvious. When we look at women there is nothing obvious that tells us that she is turned on, so some women who are largely attracted to women find naked men, who are turned on, a sexual turn on.

Does that make sense to anyone?

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makes perfect sense to me peppermint patty.

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I have always described bisexuality as attraction andpurely such. Ie I feel if someone is bisexual it has no definitive bearing on who they date. In my case I am bi--but partly due to many many past issues with men, and violent flashbacks sometimes even when I just think of doing things with a man--- I tend to only date women, I need a tenderness from someone I date and I have found this primarily from women, I want to say I don't rule out something with a man in the future--but I'll be honest, even for a 5 foot 10 girl built like a brick shithouse I am scared of men. I ahve massive difficulty sleeping in the same room with one. I'm not a man hating elsbian by any stretch---but David Duchovny isn't going to sweep me off my feet anytime soon so I tend to stay with the lesbian side of my sexuality....

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I can't say I've ever been sexually turned on by a man, but I won't deny that some are attractive. I've had many a crush on men, but they've only been the "Omgawd, he's pretty" ones. You know, those crushes you get when you're eight and have no idea what sex or love is? Yeah. Odd visualizations just came from that. O.o

I think it's natural. Straight men will acknowledge that another man is good looking, just like straight women will do the same with another woman. It's appreciating the human figure. And if you feel something from it, that's normal too. It's some innate trait we have.

But yeah, I consider myself a lesbian. No desire to be with a man at all, but I do like to look at them.

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Well i'm pretty much the opposite of everyone here. I have been married to man for 8 years. I have slept with a few men in my life but only because that was the way i was raised, you were supposed to be with a man, get married and have children. The thing is a man has never turned me on or done anything for me. Allmy fantasies involve women and looking a naked man does not turn me on at all. That is why i'm here need to find out if i'm just with the wrong sex.

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It is really releaving to here that other lesbians also think about guys sometimes. I've been wondering if I might be bi, but I really have no desire to actually date a man. Some of my "friends" have been giving me a hard time because I don't "look like a lesbian" (whatever that means).

I have exactly that same problem, Julia. Apparently I'm "too much of a girl". For some reason there are a lot of straight people out there who thunks that a gay person will behave/look like someone from the opposite sex... But then, in a way I kinda like the fact that I just pass for straight cause generally I think that if people don't need to know about my sexuality, then it's none of their business. Besides, never met a gay person who wasn't able to figure me out pretty darn quick, so it doesn't make me question my sexuality at all! :wink:

Anyhow, to answer the actual thread question, I do find men attractive at times too, but I would never even consider kissing a man. Any thought of intimacy with a man does squick me out. I did have a longterm boyfriend in school though whom I did kiss and came to care for very much, but funilly enough it turns out he's gay too, so it now feels like we were just two closeted people just seeking solace in eachother.... ahem, well. :oops: But it was a positive thing, I guess, cause it did mean that I never had to go through the whole having sex with a man thing...

But I'm going off on an total tangent now! What I was gonna say was that I read somewhere that scientists have found that somewhere just over 80% of us have bisexual tendencies, whether we conscider ourselves straight or gay (well, that includes people who identify themselves as bi too). Although I must say that while I at times enjoy flirting with guys (if they initiate it), I have never actually fantasised about them or about being with one. I won't rule out the possibility of me doing so in the future, but I do find it very unlikely that I'll ever actually have sex with a man.

I must say though, it was nice to know that other gay women look at men and still don't identify as bi, after having so many protests from various people that I must be. I think perhaps I do bring that on by actually flirting with guy but, in fairness, when we go to "straight places" who am I gonna flirt with if not guys?! I'm a very flirtacious person so I'd say it's only natural. :P Besides, as a said, if I can pass of as being straight, I don't really take it as a negative per se.

*steps off her soap box* Better get ready for work instead of blabbering on here....

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We are all attracted to attractive people...at least i am. if i find a persons personality attractive i usually end up finding them attractive. for me, i dont think its so much about gender as it is about who the person is. I dont think it really matters what we all call ourselves...its more about being human and finding other humans attractive. We are all different so i guess i dont understand the need to identify as gay, bi, straight poly etc. In a world where we have to do this i try to see myself as carrie....no more no less. :P

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I have to say this is such an amazing website!! I really feel so much better after reading these postings, that I'm not the only one who thinks like this.... It's nice not to feel alone :D

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I am a full fledge butch lesbian who won't think twice about a man in bed, but I've almost always had a strange attraction to a built up mans body. I don't want it or anything, I just don't mind looking? :?

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We are all attracted to attractive people...at least i am. if i find a persons personality attractive i usually end up finding them attractive. for me, i dont think its so much about gender as it is about who the person is. I dont think it really matters what we all call ourselves...its more about being human and finding other humans attractive. We are all different so i guess i dont understand the need to identify as gay, bi, straight poly etc. In a world where we have to do this i try to see myself as carrie....no more no less. :P

ditto.

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If all the men on earth disappeared it would probabley take me a week to notice. I'm a gold star....

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wow I am not alone in this either and I thought for a moment I was perhaps insane or perhaps something was wrong with me as I do like to look at some. I say some men naked as they do look good but when it comes to myself having a sexual affrair with a man no thanks I prefer a female anyday and feel that i am 100% lesbian yet it is ok in my book to look as long as you don't touch as the thought of having a sexual affair with a man is simply just gross.

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Yaoi is a popular form of manga hentai focusing on young gay men, usually one younger and the other older. The fact is that statistically, most everyone is a little bi, but regardless, human beings are sexual, and if you see a human being being sexual, you are probably going to be turned on by it, no matter your sexual preference. It's perfectly okay, and it shouldn't effect your self-view, except as someone who, like the rest of the primates, likes sex.

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Yeah, I feel similarly to you guys about the levels of naked I can take with men.

I used to be very butch in high school, and I walked like a boy and talked like one, but I identified as Bi because I wasn't 100% sure about what I was. Now, after I've tried relationships with men (I didn't want to just say "I'm gay" unless I was sure I wasn't into sex with men) I realise that I am able to find a man sexy and be attracted to him on a superficial and pheramone based level...

... but as soon as the pants are off, so am I. A naked man... it just turns me off. I just don't have any interest in men sexualy. Male genitalia is like a kill-switch for my libido.

I still see a cute boy and sometimes want to flirt, and I'm fairly sure I could kiss a boy and be turned on... but it stops there. Pheremones only do so much before reality sets in and you remember WHAT he's got and WHERE he wants it to go.

I've met a lot of people (gay and otherwise) that say that every lesbian has that one guy that they would have sex with, and that might be true, but I've yet to encounter a guy naked that I could stomach the horizontal tango with.

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I have a question? Okay I like to look at men nude (not at all to the extent of when I was calling myself being straight), I think some are cute hell I've even went to see male strippers with my straight friends. BUT I have absolutly no desire to have a relationship with a man or sleep with a men (I did enjoy the strip show). And with women I pretty much like them 100%. are there any other lesbians on here who have some sort of attraction to men but don't consider themselves bi?

Ray Gay :twisted:

I have known other lesbians who liked gay porn, Yaoi, and otherwise looking at men. One lesbian friend explained it to me thus, people, human beings are sexual creatures. We're sexy, sexual, and have sex. We find ourselves appealing for sexual reasons and like the aesthetics of our own natural bodies beyond that of pure sexual/romantic preferences. If you ever have the chance, see if you can find a genuine male lesbian (a lot of straight guys claim to be them, but aren't), not necessarily for anything other than talking. It might seem like a weird label, but if you can find one, it might expand what you know about sex, gender, identity, and sexuality.

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wow I am not alone in this either and I thought for a moment I was perhaps insane or perhaps something was wrong with me as I do like to look at some. I say some men naked as they do look good but when it comes to myself having a sexual affrair with a man no thanks I prefer a female anyday and feel that i am 100% lesbian yet it is ok in my book to look as long as you don't touch as the thought of having a sexual affair with a man is simply just gross.

Gross is a harsh word.

Yeah, I feel similarly to you guys about the levels of naked I can take with men.

I used to be very butch in high school, and I walked like a boy and talked like one, but I identified as Bi because I wasn't 100% sure about what I was. Now, after I've tried relationships with men (I didn't want to just say "I'm gay" unless I was sure I wasn't into sex with men) I realise that I am able to find a man sexy and be attracted to him on a superficial and pheramone based level...

... but as soon as the pants are off, so am I. A naked man... it just turns me off. I just don't have any interest in men sexualy. Male genitalia is like a kill-switch for my libido.

I still see a cute boy and sometimes want to flirt, and I'm fairly sure I could kiss a boy and be turned on... but it stops there. Pheremones only do so much before reality sets in and you remember WHAT he's got and WHERE he wants it to go.

I've met a lot of people (gay and otherwise) that say that every lesbian has that one guy that they would have sex with, and that might be true, but I've yet to encounter a guy naked that I could stomach the horizontal tango with.

You know, it doesn't have to involve penetration. More guys nowadays are into pegging.

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Uhhhh... no thanks. He'd have to be naked, so no. =___=;

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