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Flirt like a man or a woman?

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Maybe this should be under the other flirting forum, but it is kind of different.

When it come to flirting with women, how exactly does another woman do it???

Would I flirt like a woman picking up a guy, because how else would I flirt? Being female, there are certain ways we flirt that are different than the ways guys flirt.

Would I flirt like a guy trying to pick up a women, because women learn to pick up on a man's flirting cues?

Women and men flirt differently. Which style is more likely to catch a woman's attention??

I am trying to flex my flirting muscle, despite my intense shyness.

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Well, I wouldn't exactly cal it flirting like a man or a woman, but more of being an aggressive flirter or being a shy, coy flirter. But I would have to say that depending on the woman I can be pretty damn aggressive in letting her know that she is desired or I can be coy and shy. Some women you can be up front and personal with others you need to approach with caution, especially if you don't know whether they're gay or straight. This is an interesting question. How do you flirt?

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I'm normally a very talkative person. However, since I came out bi, I've been having more of those "Oh gawd, I was flirting with her" moments. I feel so cheesy afterwards because around women I feel like the desparate book nerd rather than the sexy volumptious woman I am around men. Somewhere though, I think some of my fear is that I'll b lumped with the attention whore variety bi-girl and will be summarily dismissed by women.

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I use my eyes to flirt with another woman rather than my mouth. I guess that is shy flirting.

I feel awkward about trying to pick up a woman, especially when I am not sure if they are a lesbian. You see, I am attracted to, what my former partner called, the heterosexual type woman - too beautiful to be bi or lesbian according to here.

Perhaps I need to start watching men and trying it there way. May way isn't getting me anywhere fast.

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I flirt like a little kid. Lol. I usually flirt with women at my school so I see them a couple of days a week. My flirting is playful. I'll make them laugh and then just mess with their papers or books or stupid stuff like that. Long looks in the eyes too but I can't help it if I go cross eyed to make them laugh. I love making women laugh.

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i think there definitely is a 'guy' way of flirting and when wimyn flirt with me like that it COMPLETELY turns me off. i don't think it's a matter of aggressive v. shy/coy. i am in no way shy or coy and i don't flirt like a guy. to me, the guy way is kind of gross, looking at a someone like she's a piece of meat, being overly sexual in your demeanor, not respecting a womyn's physical space as well as aggressive. but you can flirt in an outgoing yet non-aggressive, respectful way. if a womyn flirts the 'guy' way with me, she doesn't stand a chance.

mortalum: i think it's really cute that you flirt like a little kid. 

angogwanon: i too am cursed with being attracted to hetero/bi looking wimyn. it's easier to find bi wimyn that i'm attracted to than lesbians because, for some reason, lots of bi wimyn have that 'straight' look and few lesbians do. but i only date lesbians. i think i should start a new thread about this...

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I have to say I 'flirt' with a sense of masculinity as I am more masculine around women as I'm considered a 'soft' butch. That's just how I do it.

Ofcourse I don't have anyone to 'flirt' with. 

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I have become pretty good a picking out girls who are into girls. I don't know how I know, but I would say that 85% of the time, I have them pegged right. And so I will flirt with them to test the waters. If I'm at a chick club, I'm a little more aggressive but in a very very femme way. I'm pretty gentle and soothing. I whisper very softly in there ear and touch them only slightly...just to let her know I'm interested. I don't push, after that it's up to them to act on what they've found out. But if I'm in a straight club, I take a little more time to test the waters. I watch intently her body movements, who she's with, and I get a feel for her "type". Whether or not she has a bad attitude, does she seem like she wants to impress her friends, or is she the type that holds her own? Once I decided my plan of action, I make a point to catch her alone and very politely, non threatningly talk to her in her ear. I usually ask them to not be offended, I don't want to embarrass her. I will compliment her and ask her if she's ever been with another woman. Depending on her answer, I go from there. And that's how I flirt.

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The way you flirt sounds really good. You don't push and such and that's great. 

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BluLight Jazz, that is a very clever way to flirt. I think I'll try that sometime. Thanks for posting 

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Now how does one indicate that they want to be flirted with?

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I find shy women to be SOOOOOO sexy *swoon*

Therefore, it's up to me to start flirting first if I meet one face to face. Otherwise we'd both be standing there staring at each other *soft laugh*

That is FAR easier to do in real life than on the internet. On the internet you don't get those shy blushes you can see , that you can act on.

There is where I need a little help knowing someone is interested. 

Yeah, I'm fiesty. But that doesn't mean I don't cuddle well *LOL*

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I guess I have that "male DUH" factor. sometimes I don'teven realize a woman is flirting with me...till someone tells me later on. when she's gone and it's too dog gone late LOL I'm kind of shy bout starting the flirting...but when I realize it's happening (LMAO..that'd be when I'm lucky enough to have someone tell me while she's still there.)... I flirt aggressively. And it's not becuase of transition..or Ts...I was always that way. Women who are into girly girls would probably be really turned off by it..but women who are into girly girls aren't likely to flirt with me anyway. I spose..in all honesty..if yer shy aboout flirting..wel..I'm thinkin most women eat that up! If they wantd an insensitive brute...they probably wouldn't be into women to begin with. (I'm thinkin that even straight women don't want an insensitive brute...crawlin all over em like they were a piece of steak) You stay a little shy, and coy..and the ladies will flirt with you..and ya prolly won't need a friend with ya to let you know it's happening! LMAO

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NocturnalLife, what is a soft butch? I described myself as ultra femme in appearance, but personality wise I could be more like a soft butch. How did you come by that description?

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flirting can be ridiculously hard for me, because no one seems to pick up on the gay vibe and they end up just thinking i'm unusually friendly. lately i've been trying a more butchy approach, at least in the way i talk, which seems to be helping a LOT.

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yeah, i have the same problem. i don't think women get the vibe that i'm into them as much because i'm bi. and i'm really shy, so that adds to the problem. i want so badly to flirt with women, but i'm scared they will think i'm just being friendly instead.

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I'm such a dork when i try to flirt i'm all like look at me look at me i'll make u laugh and then maybe turn into a five year old and push u lol i sound like a super date huh lol 

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Back in the day, I could flirt up a storm with men. Never really affected me; I could flirt and be intelligent -- I could flirt intelligently.

Now that I've admitted my attraction to women and acutally feel free enough to flirt, I make a COMPLETE a** of myself.

I was in Starbucks the other day & felt someone looking at me. I looked around and locked eyes with the most gorgeous goddess I've encountered in a while. She smiled and held my eyes... my knees went weak & I swear that I forgot the English language. All I could do was blush, smile and try not to laugh out loud.

I'm actually known for being rather witty and never one to be afraid of anything. I'm the girl that everyone sent to say or do the things that they wanted to say or do but were too chicken.

I think I do better if I'm the one initiating the glances and the conversation. At least, I hope that's the case. And I SERIOUSLY hope that I get over this giggling girly phase soon. It's just plain embarrassing. Jeez, you'd think I'm 13 again...

(The shrink in me says that I'm laughing because I'm actively searching for what I've always wanted to be searching for... and that I'm starting the dating world over again -- this time as a lesbian and honest with myself. Course, that and $3.25 will get you a blueberry scone @ Starbucks.)

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Well, I find most of you lucky. Yeah, lucky. I can't flirt with anyone that I am interested in. Man, woman, other...whatever.

I only seem to be able to come off as be happy-go-lucky with friends, aka people I am not interested in. I can flirt, joke, kid, tickle, or love on any of them without a problem. I just can't approach anyone that I truly like.

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i am by no means an expert; however, in my time 'flirting', 'dating', etc with both men and women, here is what i have found.

flirting styles vary by person in age, personality, and confidence. there is no right or wrong way to flirt - you need to do what is comfortable to you or you will end up feeling awkward and your intended target may be turned off because it is obvious you are out of your zone.

but - flirting styles should also be adjusted depending on your intention. if you are looking to find a woman to start a relationship with, you will want to try something different than you would if you were looking for playmate/fwb.

a few tips that i have found to be helpful:

* be observant / check out your intended recipient and her surroundings/demeanor PRIOR to chatting her up. visual clues such as her facial expressions, body language. style of dress, location at a table/bar and mood can give you insight on how to approach /flirt with her

* if you are trying to get a woman's attention from across a bar, dance floor, or room, let her see you checking her out and hold your ground. look her in the eyes and make her be the first to look away. this puts you in a position of power without being overly pushy. once she looks away, walk up to her and say something to the affect : "you can't look at me like that and not say anything." that puts the ball in her court to respond to you and makes your intentions known without a lot of words.

* if you see a woman you are really attracted to and would like to have a fling or totally physical relationship with, but she is in a group of men/women, you can walk up to her, acknowledge the rest of the group with a 'hello' or 'hi' and then look into her eyes and say something to the affect "even if i didn't want to f!@# you, i would still want to stay up all night talking and make you breakfast'. again, this puts you in a position of power as it states your intention clearly and puts the next move on her. obviously, not all women would be perceptive to this type of advance, but that is where the observation comes into play. this prevents any mixed signals about your intentions.

I have a few more tips/tricks but i will save those for a later post. if you are interested in talking more about flirting, how to approach women, etc, feel free to message me.

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I think it really depands on a lot of different factors. for instance: Location, if they're with people, Timing etc. I would try eye contact first. Just to see what type of response you get. If she gives you a blushy (if thats a word) like smile then proceed. Giving a compliment is a great idea because who do not like to be flattered! I know I do!

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On March 20, 2005 at 3:12 PM, BluLight Jazz said:

I have become pretty good a picking out girls who are into girls. I don't know how I know, but I would say that 85% of the time, I have them pegged right. And so I will flirt with them to test the waters. If I'm at a chick club, I'm a little more aggressive but in a very very femme way. I'm pretty gentle and soothing. I whisper very softly in there ear and touch them only slightly...just to let her know I'm interested. I don't push, after that it's up to them to act on what they've found out. But if I'm in a straight club, I take a little more time to test the waters. I watch intently her body movements, who she's with, and I get a feel for her "type". Whether or not she has a bad attitude, does she seem like she wants to impress her friends, or is she the type that holds her own? Once I decided my plan of action, I make a point to catch her alone and very politely, non threatningly talk to her in her ear. I usually ask them to not be offended, I don't want to embarrass her. I will compliment her and ask her if she's ever been with another woman. Depending on her answer, I go from there. And that's how I flirt.

 

Great reply! whew! lol

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I completely understand where you are coming from. I am new to all this flirting with women bur I think it honestly comes naturally. I just got out of an eight year relationship and so I am kind of rust on my flirting techniques but I have been talking to a couple of different girls and i think I'm doing pretty good. I don't think it matters if your a man flirting with a woman or a woman flirting with a woman i think if you just say sweet things and just talk it will be all good.

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Well its hard for me to say for myself personally. I have seen men flirt in a forward way, or a very muted way. Most of the time I am just up front. If i'm flirting, you will know it. I don't believe on running around the point. If I like you, you will know I like you right away. I will be respectful, but I'm not opposed to putting myself out there either. I had one very short term flirtation with a woman who was beautiful and fun, and we both knew right out of the gate what was going on. I looked at her and said "I like you." She looked at me and said "I like you too. We should hang out." So we did. Had some fun (and steamy) moments over the next couple months and then we both agreed it wouldn't work so that was it. Simple, forward and open. Thats always seemed to work for me. 

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I think I most definitely flirt like a woman... I use a lot eye contact and conversation... And laugh @ all her jokes

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