no longer active member

Height

31 posts in this topic

I don't think I'm tall. I think of myself of average height. I'm a little over 5'8". But, it seems like every girl I go out with is shorter than me and ALWAYS comments on how tall I am. I'm beginning to think I'm the tallest lesbian in my town. Lol. Maybe my personality doesn't fit my height. I'm quiet and keep to myself in large groups. I could disappear in a room full of people 4' or shorter. I like being this tall, but I'm kind of tired of hearing about it. Does anyone else have a story about this from either end of the spectrum? How do you compare to your girlfriend or ex girlfriends?

Share this post


Link to post

Mortalum, I'm so sorry you feel that your height is an issue. I'm 5'7" and have the hardest time finding a tall woman (5'6"-5'9"), I was beginning to think they didn't exist. When I was in relationship my girlfriends would comment on how tall I was, and I never took it negatively, I just assumed that I was a rare find. I love my height, but sometimes I do wish I could find someone in my shoes :roll:

Share this post


Link to post

I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't find other tall lesbians. I've never really thought about my height until recently. The girl I'm seeing said something about it the other day and I thought "I've heard that before". Now I remember that every girl I've been involved with has said something. Oh well, I usually joke about when they say something. I don't think it's that big of a deal. Come to think of it even at work stuff is said. I know I'm going to have to do something when I hear "Hey Margaret, you're tall...".

Yes, I realise I think too much :?:)

Share this post


Link to post

I have a cousin who's 5'10" and she's a model, but guess what? She gets shit in the modeling world because most designers want female models who are between 5'7" and 5'9" so she has had to deal with height criticism. It just goes to show that one inch does make a big difference.

I love my height :P I think it's one of the cool things about me! I just wish I could find more women who are tall like me.

Share this post


Link to post

Gosh, you make all the short girls feel like shit. :oops:

Share this post


Link to post

Enjoy your height, whether you are 5'10" or 4'0".

Young women in China, are undergoing horrific surgeries, to lengthen their 'legs' so that they can be "TALL" like Western Women, that is the fad now...

to be tall, in China is like a status thing, with the belief that one will have a better chance in getting a upward mobile job or a husband...(sort of like the foot binding days that Maoist China passed laws against).

These surgeries, literally the surgeons saw their lower (calf) leg bone in half, then with braces from the foot to thigh, are used to 'stretch' the leg...

the pain is unbearable, women often scream and its ongoing and excrutiating, and long term. A large percentage have dire problems with one leg being longer, severe pain when walking, etc...

and for What? To attain some mythical idea of Western beauty, etc? Also, Asian women get eyelid surgery, butt emplants are popular in South America, and the latest craze pushed by Misogynist Doctors/Surgeons is labia surgeries, thats right, a type of FGM because now our labias, etc., are being judged, too big, too this, too that...

well, my breast sag, from age, breastfeeding four children and by damn I say, let them sag, they have a beautiful history, have given love and nuturing and besides, too many of my friends who have had breast surgeries, can't feel a thing in their nipple area (I say forget That!).

whether my labia is big or small, well, don't know, but I know it has some pretty good sensations so I think its best left alone, lol,

have a few wrinkles, yea, like those ones between the eyebrows that Botox is supposed to cure, well, gee, for that kind of money, hmmm, France anyone, LOL? And besides, those wrinkles say alot...about my intelligence and hours and hours of reading, LOL. Think I'll keep them too...

and if my jaw sags one day, well, hmmm, many years of passionate kissing so a rose tattoo if I live to be 80 or 90 is in order there, to celebrate that area that has felt so much,

my height, well, its some days not been tall enough and they have these neat little things called bar stools, and those heels, do wonders, and some days just right and some days, too tall, like with a partner, but have to say, some of the best times I had was with a shorter partner. :)

I could go on, but my point is, I suppose when you get my age, you have to make a decision, you can either go one in life, comparing and wanting to be something you are not (and in this society the pressures are soo strong and yes, I've had them, those times of self doubt, etc),

or, you can look at yourself in the mirror, take a good look, and see that every mark, scar, stretchmark, your height, weight, etc., all of you...all of you has lived and loved and felt joy and sadness, and if you really look close enough, all of you has a story to tell...

so you are tall, well, I would say this: go get the most luxurious outfit that you would love to wear, strap on some heels (whether boots, shoes) or flats, and walk proud,

and the same if you are average or short...

and if you are tall and your lover is shorter than you, well, look at it this way, you can smell her hair, look down upon her face and gaze into her eyes, etc, etc...

or you can sit and while she is looking down at you, she can smell your hair, look down upon your face and gaze into your eyes, etc etc...

but the important thing (and this goes for men too),

is that you both can smile at each other and accept and love each other just the way you are...

and in that reflection of acceptance and love you too, can smile at yourself,

because when its all said and done, thats all that really matters anyhow. Outward appearance is not a guaranteed -- we all age (and no matter how many plastic surgeries one gets, eventually the body is going to age) and one day, we all look back on our life, and the things we will remember most on, will not be our looks, height, weight, etc.,

it will be the people we touched and who touched us, our loves, families, and our lives. And I wouldn't have said anything but when women are literally torturing themselves to be taller, it makes one question what lengths and what amount of self hate women must have...we are our own worst critics, maybe its time to end that cycle...not only for us, but for the women around the world who are bombarded with Western beauty via consumerism, etc...

only way the image of beauty is going to change is if We change it...(that supply and demand thing), there's nothing wrong with looking our best and being fit and taking care of ourselves,

but where do we draw the line between that, and aesthetic fascism?

Share this post


Link to post

Ditto BlackLesbian,

you said it, thats exactly it...(and I don't think they are in any way trying to make short women feel bad)

but thats what images have done to ALL of us (whether we are conscious of it or not)...you really begin to notice it more too the older you get, seriously (because people treat you different, like you at times are almost invisible).

Its a form of aethestic fascism, and its becoming more serious...(just look at the pressures on young women/teens and even kids to look a certain way).

How soon we forget that in Nazi Germany women were put in these brothel type places, the blondest, blue eyed, well endowed women (young) and coerced to sleep with tall blue eyed, blond German men to create a perfect race (eugenics)?

and here in our culture women are having their bodies/faces snipped, cut, sliced, diced, filled, injections of toxins (and yes, Botox can kill you, its rare but it happens), sucked, pumped, filled with chemicals and/or devices, etc...

and I at one time was of the opinion that it was simply a matter of personal choice, etc...but after reading the articles on China and the labia surgeries, I'm not so sure about that anymore...

I think there's something more insidious about it all, who Benefits from this? I forgot what magazine it was, but one of the magazines put (in picture) all the media depicted/stated 'perfect parts' of celebrity women and made a body, and it looked hideous. There was the arms of Madonna, the butt of Jenny Lopez, face of Gweneth Paltrow, etc etc...

and it really did look like some frankenstein version of a perfect woman. and was in some ways similar looking to the Chuckie doll, LOL. In Japan, they leave (used to, not so sure anymore) one imperfection in the art, it was supposed to be more beautiful, or something (read it long ago)...but I always thought that made sense,

and besides, who defines what is perfect, beautiful? What is not beautiful about being short? I've seen some really beautiful little people, and I mean beautiful. (speaking of people no larger than 3ft) I've seen numerous women 4ft to 5ft that are absolutely gorgeous, and I've seen women that are 5'9 that are absolutely gorgeous, but it wasn't their height that made them beautiful...

I've also seen many beautiful women (have worked with them waiting tables, etc) and its funny, some of them, when you got to know them, weren't so beautiful any more, and the women that were considered to be plain or average, or even unattractive, the more you got to know them the more beautiful they were, and you one day look at them and think, wow, they really are pretty...

but you know, the most beautiful woman in the world, to me, was my Nana, yea, LOL, she had thinning hair (real thin) and it was long, black -- jet black with gray streaks, and she always put it in this bun, and wore wigs in public (it was popular then), and she was plump, and she had these moles all over her face...

I remember asking her what they were when I was like 6, and she always smelt of face powder and she wore that bright red lipstick, lol and she chewed snuff (yea, ROFL, she chewed snuff like it was candy, lol)

and other than the snuff thing, lol, she was always so feminine, always gave us kids rootbeer sodas in the summer and made the best lunches, and she loved Rock and Roll music (KISS was her fav band, LOL),

I now have two moles, I color them when I go out rather than hide them...because they are inherited from her, and I am so happy to have a part of her with me (yea I know, sounds corny but oh well-- she raised me btw, pretty much)...

I remember looking through her jewelry box as a young girl, she had all that vintage 40s stuff, ah,

well, you know in today's age she would have not been considered beautiful or chic, etc., but to me, she was beautiful and I wouldn't even begin to know how to paint such beauty, really. You know, come to think of it, if my kids/grandkids think of me the same way I think of my Nana, well, wow, WOW,

just love yourselves in the skin and body you are in. Thats all I am saying.

Share this post


Link to post

damn. i'm 5' and like a 1/2 an inch. lol. my ass is crazy petite and i love my height even though i can't never see shit or reach shit.

and us little girls can get into some pretty good intimate places...so, i like that i got me some small hands to put in all the right places.

hey, black lesbian, i'm pervert too. lol.

Share this post


Link to post

Thanks blacklesbian and ladyk for your funny replies...I've dated short women before and they were great women, I just wonder where all the tall lesbians are :roll: Do either of you know the average height of women in this country? I think it's something like 5'3" or something along those lines. If either of you have the correct data let me know.

Share this post


Link to post

I'm sorry blacklesbian, I never intended to make anyone feel bad. I was just making an observation.

kahloeyes, I agree with you about the beauty standards in America and that it's terrible what some women go through to look more like the "ideal" woman.

I have nothing against shorter women. I never look at height when I notice a woman. What really catches my attention is listening to them speak, usually in class. Thats what attracted me to my first girlfriend. She was so intelligent and I could tell her mind was always racing with interesting thoughts. I liked being the taller one in the relationship for physical reasons that kahloeyes mentioned. And for the reasons ladyk mentioned as well :wink: . I've never hated my height. I've had issues with weight but I'm over that as well. I'm at the point where I don't hate my body. Heck I have small breasts and I've admitted that I wish I had more, but now I love them. I even just got my nipples pierced tonight. I would have never done that if I hated my breasts. I think they're great the way they are. They're mine. If this is the way they were supposed to be then that's it. I would never have plastic surgery to change that. My first girlfriend took me to the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival last year and that totally opened my eyes to different types of beauty. I'll never forget it. I can only hope other women have an eye opening experience like the one I had.

Again, I never intended to make anyone feel bad. I'm sorry if I did.

Share this post


Link to post

Hi,

Mortalum, I don't think anyone here thought anyone was trying to make anyone feel bad, none of the posts read that way...

I speak often on issues in a general sense, or to a general audience, to create awareness, provoke thought and mostly, for those who do struggle with issues and so forth, (you never know too who reads these forums, etc).

I think we all struggle with our physical traits, at one time or another, and some more than others. I speak of these issues alot because when I was younger, in my twenties, I was considered 'pretty' by many men, However, over time, like, during first marriage, I gained some weight, and alot of the men I knew prior made comments, very negative...

I didn't really see it then, but over the years, I noticed just how much we are judged by our physical, and it could be anything from weight, hair color, skin color, breast size, etc etc etc...

in our society, women are judged in fragments, everywhere we look its our bust or our legs or our thighs, hair, etc etc etc...

and It DOES effect us...even the strongest women mentally are at times insecure, when I say mentally I am referring to women who know how the media, etc., uses women's bodies, etc., to sell products, and so forth. I have to say that I really started to notice it more the older I got, and also with my daughters. I'll never forget the day one of my daughters said something about being 'fat', she is pencil thin, and at the time was 6 years old. I nearly fell off my chair and I thought, where is she getting that from...well, from Brittany Spears videos actually (it was like the rave then and all the girls her age, well her friends were like Brittany crazy, this was of course in Brittany's beginning albums, etc).

Another time I noticed a paradox was when breastfeeding my children...oh, its fine to walk around in a bikini or top with your breasts falling out, but dare breastfeed an infant, its like, 'ah, how disgusting' or 'oh, can't you cover up', etc etc etc...and one of my friends was with child at the same time I had my second on the breast, and she was like obsessed with her breasts, and sure enough, she had implants done after her child was born...

and much pain afterwards, no nipple sensation at all (like, I just can't imagine that, I would cry, literally, lol) and it cost her $3,000 (these were the saline kind). And you know, the ironic thing is that this great looking man she was so madly in love with, Still screwed around her, even after the modification...its like, we can never be perfect enough...or something like that.

So, over the years I began to study this phenomenom and lately been looking through men's magazines (like Maxim, Stuff) and circling the adds, and mostly, the subtle words that are used, to 'piece' women, etc. After a while, you know its kind of funny because once you've seen so many pictures they all start to look the same...

and I thought today, while all these models/celebrities/women are beautiful, its like, they are all beautiful so how do you judge one against the other (and men do this) and why? And if thats not bad enough, then there is the subtle comments, which I suppose many would simply not see if just browsing the articles/ads but they are there, like one, woman is called 'toots'...

now I don't know about you but if some man called me 'toots' well he'd be picking his teeth off the floor, its like, demeaning I think. And its not that I'm a prude or anything like that, but why is the focus always or almost always, on the physical? Even successful career women and women in intellectual fields feel the pressure to 'prove' to the world that they are sexually desirable, etc (artist Delia Brown spoke on this very thing in one interview, about her art, class and UCLA).

One reason I study the magazines btw, lol, (think I better explain) is that over the past two years I've been working on research about campus 'gang' rape, etc., and the study is partly the link between class/elitism and objectification of women/culture imperialism, in other words, majority of gang rapes on campuses (fraternities, athletics, etc) are Never prosecuted, and rarely if they are, are they found guilty...and that too, is tied into the lack of legal action on behalf of prison rapes (men and women, speaking of gang rapes here) and carry that to the international trafficking which both AI and Human Rights Watch assert is much funded/by tourist dollars/banking, etc...

I know there is a study/book called "The Culture of Rape", can't recall the author, but anyway, when I read about China, and the surgeries there, I think its all linked, and why I speak out on it.

And don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with a little modification if its really beneficial, like breast reduction in women who have back pain, etc...things like that...

and it is a personal choice, I respect that. But I would like to encourage women to really look, at the whole picture, of how we are influenced, how it effects us, etc., and define for themselves who they are, what they want to portray, etc. Not just for themselves, but for us, as women, to take back our bodies, and rather than it be media, commercialism, sexism, etc dictating to us what beauty is...I think, we should say, this is beauty, beauty is us, and beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, heights, color, etc.

Too I don't think we often realize, the extent of some of that influence, how it touches others in nations that are clear across the world...like, for instance in Russia, where teen prostitution is high, black market trafficking, etc...and crimes of violence against women, and you can see, how like the sites that advertise, Russian Brides, (for American men) and they are, of course, sexy, submissive, and anti-feminist, etc...

or the Femicides in Juarez, all beautiful women, young, murdered and raped repeatedly and tortured (over 300 bodies found so far, 1000 missing), I listened to a mother's testimony in October (her daughter was raped by three men and stabbed 23 times), and I listened while she shared her grief, and it was all I could do not to break down listening to her, its one thing to read about these things, its another to actually see face to face a family member of one of the victims. [rumour is these girls are being killed in snuff films, and that big money is tied into it, both on Mexico and US side]

So anyhow, thats why I bring alot of these issues up...not to single anyone out or anything like that...and I especially say something when topics on physical attributes are brought up...because violence against women worldwide (some areas far worse than others) is increasing daily (in fact, the numbers of murders of prostitutes has gone up in this nation and they are not being investigated as they should be)...

I really don't believe the system as it stands will change it (look at the rapes in military/Iraq, yea, they are happening, the dependence on sweat shops, majority of workers women, the diamond trade and the brutal rapes of women in the Congo, that militias are supported financially from, etc etc etc, the rapes in Sudan that gov refuses to do anything about it other than lip service...)

I could go on and on, list evidence and sources, etc., but my point is, (yea I use that phrase alot) is that I don't think its going to change until WOMEN decide, enough is enough, world wide and change it. And I think to do that, we must first begin to change perceptions...or negativity, etc...

there is nothing wrong in celebrating women's beauty, I'm not advocating any sort of anti-cosmetics or anti-feminity, etc., nor am I advocating that all women should be a certain way, etc. all I'm saying is that its time we put the Individual back into the picture and appreciate the Individual beauty, and thats what media, etc., does to women when attempting to 'mold' us into the 'ideal'

it strips us of our individual selves and that beauty that comes from being unique, etc. And besides, women deserve So much more...

as Mao once said, "Women hold up half of the sky" and not only do that hold up half of the sky, they are the rainbow too. (yea corny but something like that...now if only Women Owned the Means of their Production Worldwide, but thats another issue. LOL

Adorable baby in your picture Mortalum, is she or he your child? What a smile!

Kahloeyes

Share this post


Link to post

Ok...I didn't intend for everyone to go crazy, but my stats are 5'0, 120..and I sort of like tall girls but in bed, its just weird as hell. Sorry. :oops:

And to you miss lady k, what spaces are you talking about? :wink: I think if we met we'll be forehead to forehead...and other places to other places

Share this post


Link to post

Wow. You two (blacklesbian, ladyk) are about the same height as my mother--she's 5'2" 1/2--I actually love her height and think it's cute, but ladyk you are right it's hard for her to reach overhead cabinets. In fact when I'm in town she always asks me to put things up or bring them down for her lol, I just think it's cute. But there is nothing wrong with short women besides I think you two fit in the average so there is actually more women in your height group than in mine.

Share this post


Link to post

kahloeyes I can only hope to have such a wonderful child such as the one in the picture with me. His name is Austin (he's 15 months) and he is my nephew. His mom is my best friend of about 17 years. We call each other sisters now because we are so close. I would do anything for Austin. When I ride in the backseat with him I always think if we get into a car accident I would throw myself over him to protect him. I never knew of such a love until he came along. I'm sure when I have my own children I will feel this love even stronger. Okay I'll stop there, I can go on and on about him. Thanks for your intresting posts. You're like a well of knowlege that never runs dry. Keep posting :)

Share this post


Link to post

does that count??? :lol:

actually, i'm about 5'7"....5'7" 1/2 on a good day....it doesn't matter whether a womyn is shorter than me or taller....if she's interesting to me, i'll talk to her........

Share this post


Link to post

Well, I'm a very big person. 5'10 and about 170. So, I'm really tall. It even used to be hard to find a guy taller than me to date. Though now, I enjoy being the taller one in the relationship and wish I were even a couple inches taller.

Plus, I like reaching to high shelves to get things for people :)

Share this post


Link to post

Its funny you should ask about height. I'm 5'10" and I'm taller than most people I know. I work in retail and I am constantly being asked to reach things for others, or to climb ladders. (I suppose the thought is I can reach without getting near the top step. I dunno) But I've had a hard time finding girls...period. My first girlfriend loved me to death, but would make me feel uncomfortable about my height. I'm sure it wasn't intention, but I'm a full six inches taller than she is.

I find that I am very uncomfortable about my height and my wieght (I'm a BBW) so most times I feel like the jolly green giant. :cry:

Share this post


Link to post

I feel you on the giant thing.

I remember being 5'8 and 10 years old and everyone calling me "Big Al" It's funny now, but back then I was like EVEYONE GROW! Or else I wanted to shrink.

I think coming out as trans has definitely helped my body issues (at least as far as height goes) because i don't feel like a huge woman anymore, just a regular sized guy.

Share this post


Link to post

i'm tall...5' 7" and have been taller than both of the girlfriends i have had...it is funny, they were more butch than me and it bothered them that I was taller! i find a lot of people don't want to date someone taller than them...i don't get that...why do you have to be the same height? why does the more butch person have to be taller? this is why I really don't get the butch/femme stuff and am trying really hard to avoid people who are looking for that. i just want a relationship based on who i am and who the person is that i am with...i am probably making no sense...

i am also pretty thin and androgynous looking so being tall makes me look like a teenage boy at first glance. if i wear a baseball cap and no makeup i get called sir. it cracks me up...

truestorm

Share this post


Link to post

I'm 5' 7" and I've primarily dated women shorter than I - somewhere around 5' to 5' 5".

Share this post


Link to post

5'3" and taller than my mum, so I'm happy :)

Share this post


Link to post

i'm 5'11'', 145, and very very content with my stats. haha.

my ex's have been also. people i encounter are usually like, "wow. you're really tall.." or something along those lines. i joke around and reply with, "oh, really? i never noticed.. that's interesting." lol

my current gf is like 5'10'' i believe, so luckily it works out for both of us..

my dad is like 6'2'', so i got it all from him. but it's cool.

my height works to my advantage when i'm playin ball (basketaball or volleyball, that is).

besides, as phoenix99 said, i enjoy being asked to help a shorter friend in need when it comes to reaching stuff.. :D

Share this post


Link to post

Well I'm 5'4 myself but I have to say I was surprised to hear that some of you taller people find it hard to find girlfriends. Personally I have to agree that I wouldn't care what height a woman was as long as she is an interesting and fun person to be with. (And, yes, anyone who wants to help me reach things on topshelves, you're very welcome! :lol: )

Having said that, I have to admit that I do sometimes feel intimidated by girls who look like supermodels. I mean, I have one of those friends (you know - tall, slim, blonde...) and she's the sweetest girl I know but if I'm having a bad day I sometimes feel inferior standing beside her. And I never really judge anyone by looks but I do think that the media makes us compare ourselves to their image of "perfect" women, even unconsciously. But usually I think we just judge ourselves with harsher eyes than anyone else every will... so always remember that there is at least one person out there who thinks you are the most beautiful person in the world. ;)

Share this post


Link to post

the average height for ladies in this country is 5'3.8" according to the National Center for Health Statistics... Im 5'11 1/2".

lol I find it humorous that a lotta the "tall" girls in this thread (5'7", 5'8") would seem pretty average where Im at. I live in Indiana, so maybe cause we're farm-raised and corn fed... or something. but we definitely have a lot more statuesque beauties than out east or west, from what Ive heard.

my dad is 6'2", my mama is 6' even. I still have a book that my mom had when she was young- called the Very Tall Little Girl, by Phyllis Krasilovsky. it really helped me appreciate my height.

wtall.jpg

I was 5'9" by the time I turned 11... definitely grappled with insecurity over my stature to some extent. but at a certain point, I learned to own it. haha seriously, I cant shrink, but I can glow with confidence. thats what matters.

Share this post


Link to post

Hmmm...interesting how we are all so different. I am a short (5'2'), petite bi woman and the strange thing is that, while I am attracted to tall (6ft and over) strong masculine men, when it comes to women it is usually the opposite. Women who are no taller than me and even more petite (skinny, even) are the ones who float my boat. :P I do like them to be a bit butch (in a boyish kind of way), rather than feminine though.

Share this post


Link to post

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now