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How Important is the Father's Role to You???

A lesbian couple I know, Kate and Jamie, decided to have a child with a close male friend of Jamie (Jamie is already pregnant, they did the artifical insemenation three weeks ago) however they have decided that it may be best for the father not to be involved in the childs life (or as kate said "until further notice"). So I'd like to know from the lesbians here who want or have children, how important is it that your child have a father or father figure in their life?

I know I want children someday and I think it's important for the kids to have their father present in their life or some other male influence in their life. I know two women are fully capable of raising a healthy, happy, well adjusted child, but I think kids also need to see what role their father or male influence plays in their life.

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As a mother of 2 very well adjusted young women I would have to say that from my life and my experiences, they didn't need the father to be involved. I was both mother and father to them, being that I am a single mom. I raised them as any family would.. my youngest (she is 17) is a tomboy, she loves sports, loves cars, can be just as tough as the rest of them, is very independet, and is no worse for wear that it was only I that was raising her. She has expressed in interest in women but also has the confidence to tell others that she also likes boys so.. did my lifestyle affect her in a positive or negative way being a lesbian and a single mom? I feel it is very positive and she didn't need the influence of a male role model. My eldest is as straight as straight can be, and she is just as independent as my other daughter (she is 19).

If you were to ask my girls if they missed having a father in there lives.. they would say and have said no, that I have provided them with both the masculine and feminine sides of life and the balance between the 2 was just right

C

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Raised my boys without a father and i have to say: fathers presence is often over-rated and not necessarily necessary! My boys are healthy and happy. The biggest issue we faced was people's reaction to it ("oh - poor boys! No father!").

When you think of the world wide cultural scene, and then think through time that humans have had children, it becomes silly to think that we need to prescribe to one form of 'family', that of a dad, a mom, and the kids! This may be a Western colonizing mentality ('our way is the only way' kind of thing).

I think that love and consistency is WAY more important than who is doing the raising...and a more accurate measure of outcome, to be sureĀ 

Cheers!

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Having a "male role model" is a construct of our patriachal society- and nothing more. It's a myth, imho. If you look at other animals, most only show up to impregnate the female (with few exceptions- and those exceptions actually are to secure the safety of the offspring from predators). Showing up to impregnate is sadly often true of human couples.

If you were to look at single, female-parent upbringing (for whatever reason), I doubt you'd be able to find any sort of negative correlation in the real world (not counting lop-sided "findings" from biased groups). In my life, I have seen & know (long term) families of all descriptions & there is nothing unusual about any of them. Some have brats, some have great kids, some have troublemakers...but all seem to be across the board the same.

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My son's father isn't a good influence. They know each other, he knows Dad, but Dad is not a huge contribution in my son's life. There are various others of my family, close friends, and community members, that my son is close with and influenced by and feels comfortable with. Those people are cis male, cis female, and trans; there's a variety.

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