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How to get over first love?

So Im at the point in my life were Im beginning to realise that hiding my feeling for women is not going to go away. And even though Im still confused about the whole aspect I think Ive known that Ive been this way since I want to "marry" my best friend in the 1st grade. But thats not the issue. Although I didnt sleep with her or let her know that I "accidently" fell in love with her my best friend from my high school years is still on my mind. We havent talked in FOREVER and forever meaning 3 years but I call her every month to leave a message on her voice mail. (shes in the service) The last time i did get a chance to talk to her she had moved to california, and was by herself. Now I know for a fact that she is straight, questioning it but I know she is. lol. I just dont know how to get over her, she is still on my mind to this day and I think, no im not gonna lie, I know that I still love her the way that I did back in high school. Is there anyway to move on? and why am I still feelin like this after all these years?

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Your situation is definitely not unique. After I married my husband I still pined away for my first love. That love takes a long time to die, and sometimes it takes a new love for that to happen.

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It's hard to get over, Meeka. The dull aching pain sneaks up every once in a while. My first love was my college gf. We were each other's first. We loved each other so much but the stress of being both asian and christian was too great. Our family and friends would have disowned us. She is now married (with a man) and they have four kids. I am still single and stuck with the memories...and the knowledge that I have loved and was loved once. We talk once a year now. The last time I went to visit her, she told me that she still loved me...but not in "that" way. It broke my heart. To this day, I sometimes find myself clinching my aching heart because something or someone has reminded me of her. 15 years seems like a long time but it still seems like it was only yesterday. I guess I'm hoping to let you know it's ok to still feel for her. It's saying you are still capable of love.

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I miss my first girl love more than I could ever describe. Hurts....but you gotta go on. :cry:

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I'll go ahead and revive this old thread and respond to Meeka.....although I'm sure she has come a long way since her initial post.... :wink: Besides, this post is for my therapy, too! :)

It IS hard to get over. I held a torch for my 1st love for almost 10 years, but I finally realized that I was only holding onto the memories of the newness of the relationship, the thoughts of "what if we stayed together forever". and the mindblowing sex. Other than that, we really weren't as much of a match as I thought we were.

I remained single for about 5 years before I met my new love who was everything I'd ever asked for, and after 5 years...as fate would have it, we've broken up. I'm still in the transition phase,...halfway between completely demolished and ready to take on the world and discover ME again. (I'm almost completely there at the "take on the world" phase!).

Its time to be "selfish" and spend time on yourself.....find great friends, enjoy your hobbies, and have fun with lifre.... Love and loss are bridges that help us cross from "today me" and "tomorrow me". Good luck!

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Over time you're going to be able to move on, but that one first girl, will always be in the back of your mind, at least for a long time, but don't worry, time does heal everything, just keep your eyes peeled for that one other girl.

:)

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