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Why are m to f TGs more attractive to men than women???

Men seem to flock to me and I have no interest in them. On the other hand starting out presenting as a woman and then revealing being TG I am left in the dust with a "good luck" if I am lucky and "how dare you" if I am not. I can not believe that I was born with this body that is only in my way of first being "all" that I wish to be and then finding my mate. It is not that I do not "pass" well. It is just that I don't have the right chromosomes.

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Men seem to flock to me and I have no interest in them. On the other hand starting out presenting as a woman and then revealing being TG I am left in the dust with a "good luck" if I am lucky and "how dare you" if I am not. I can not believe that I was born with this body that is only in my way of first being "all" that I wish to be and then finding my mate. It is not that I do not "pass" well. It is just that I don't have the right chromosomes.

I'm not sure the issue is so much that we're more attractive to men, per se, as that men are more apt to fetishize us.

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we are safe for them to somewhat acknowledge their bi desires. plain and simple. they want a dick but not a macho bod wielding it.

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It is true that I am flattered and as you say love being feminized by men I have no sexual attraction to them (except very briefly experimentally where I found that I was not gay but a WOMAN revealed by a man. That began my quest to tranasgender and I soon found hormones on line, a support group, electrolygist, therapist, make up artist (who gave me a crash course in feminization and clothes shopping, etc. ,etc., etc.---In fact I would persue her if she was not married and presumably heterosexual) Eventually I also got an endo to monitor my hormones even though I still find them cheaper over seas.

Returning to the topic. I still love women but hate the rejection on lesbian sites because I have not had my GRS as yet. I guess I am impatient but I would so much love to find the woman of my dreams. So till I travel to Thailand this summer I really do not seem to qualify as man or woman and that is unbearable. Not that I wan to be a man but I feel so close and yet so far away from being a woman and having a real chance to pursue my love life. I do hope that the "right" body parts but the wrong chromosomes will not stand in my way.

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Sherry:

I seem to be encountering much the same problem. It seems that genetic women just don't take us seriously enough to consider us. It seems that women consider us to be freaks of nature, as though we were born with one leg or one eye or something like that. Sympathy, and maybe friendship, we get, but not that special relationship! We have to prove ourselves like no other women do! Well, good luck in Thailand....and after.

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I am so sorry to hear you get negative responses from women! How unfair! I am a woman, and I think TGs are amazing and courageous and sexy! =^_^= I noticed these posts are from last year, so I am very curious how things are going now! I hope very much that you have found someone very special! Best wishes!!!

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It is true that I am flattered and as you say love being feminized by men I have no sexual attraction to them (except very briefly experimentally where I found that I was not gay but a WOMAN revealed by a man. That began my quest to tranasgender and I soon found hormones on line, a support group, electrolygist, therapist, make up artist (who gave me a crash course in feminization and clothes shopping, etc. ,etc., etc.---In fact I would persue her if she was not married and presumably heterosexual) Eventually I also got an endo to monitor my hormones even though I still find them cheaper over seas.

Returning to the topic. I still love women but hate the rejection on lesbian sites because I have not had my GRS as yet. I guess I am impatient but I would so much love to find the woman of my dreams. So till I travel to Thailand this summer I really do not seem to qualify as man or woman and that is unbearable. Not that I wan to be a man but I feel so close and yet so far away from being a woman and having a real chance to pursue my love life. I do hope that the "right" body parts but the wrong chromosomes will not stand in my way.

Wow this has effected me for far to long now. and no matter that I did have surgery last August 20th 2007 all legal documents now changed my gender to female yet no matter what in most men's eyes as well as a lot of the females I am still a (Freak of nature) Forever a transsexual. Because I was not born the gender that I am now. I cannot change the fact that I was born the wrong gender. Yet I feel from both sides of the gender issue the problem of fitting in with men when they find out they say a quick good bye and the same with females at least all the females that I have so far encountered. it hurts it is painful. There is nothing that I can say or do that will ever change the fact that I was born the wrong gender and had to do something about it. yet where do we now fit in? It seems we do not fit in anywhere and it is all very sad.

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Not to be rude but it also helps to pass very well.

like having an adorable face.

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What it is, darlin'--it ALLOWS them to FLIRT WITH the side of every last one of us, that is gay, WITHOUT having to ADMIT such interests to THEMSELVES--MUCH LESS, anyone else!

whatcha gotta learn to do is, just shrug it off and don't GIVE a rat's left bahoogie WHAT the IDIOT pop. thinks--I personally, am nigh onto 15years

post-op---I can remember SOME guys who DID admit to me, that they didn't like what I was doing, because it HIT A LITTLE TOO CLOSE to home!

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I'm sorry to say but I personally would not even consider a mtf in a sexual/relationship way unless they went through the FULL transition because, hey, I'm a lesbian so it's only natural that I like pussy and curves, breasts, soft skin, etc. Not dicks, hairy bodies, flat asses that mtf still have. Also, the transgenderd demeanor still comes across as fake and glamorized to feminine stereotypes like a drag queen. Simply a man dressed up and prancing around as a female stereotype.

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I think the main reason why males are drawn to mtf transsexuals is because it gives them a chance to play gay without really being gay. There's a lot more of a stigma for men to be gay than women.

Myself? I find myself drawn to people between the sexes, a transgendered female who doesn't intend to have the surgery. I'm more drawn to a feminine brain than a wholly feminine body.

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I am pansexual and gender fluid (more male acting but I do have a feminine side) so its really what's in the mind and soul I look at not the genitals. I would make a connection with some one that is male to female or female to male (surgery or not) and I would never require someone to go through something like that (it looks painful), unless they wanted to and I would support them and bring them tea. As long as a person isn't a macho idiot, I am cool. 

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Wow. Enlightening conversation! Unfortunately, I think that Pinkreem's sentiments hold true for most lesbians. In addition to physical attraction, I'm guessing that many women shy away from the public attention. I must admit, whenever I see at trans person, I can't look away. I try not to stare. That's rude, but, I'm really fascinated by this. A  trans person is a people watcher's dream. *Hope that's not offensive* Having once identified as bisexual I'm very attracted to ftms although I've never actually met a trans man in "real life."

 

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As a trans woman who doesn't find almost anything offensive, I find some of the comments here offensive.
For one thing, the thought that trans people are just hairy men prancing about. A lot of trans women actually do look like women well before they get any surgery whatsoever. A hairy body? That can be fixed easily enough with electrolysis. A flat bottom and chest? Both are fixed with hormones.
Really, some people need to learn the difference between Transgendered (still totally looks like a boy or a girl but really is the opposite), Transexual (actually looks like the gender they are on the inside), and a crossdresser (someone who just dresses up like the other gender).

The mention that mtf trans people seem to go off the deep end with acting like a girl? That's because people who are more boyish are just going to keep on being a boy, and people who are neutral are just going to stay as a boy, but people who are more femme on the inside, like me, are the ones who are actually going to go through with something like this.

Hey Sicca, how about if people just wanted to watch you? I don't want people to see me (I don't want to have to see me, even), so how do you think that I feel about someone like you making some sort of a sick game out of me? Am I just some animal at a zoo for you to watch and enjoy, some kind of new reality show? How about all of the people who were killed just because they were trans, are they not people worthy of pity or something?
Just something to keep in mind; most trans people have already been broken, have already been told that their entire life is one that shouldn't be, that who they are is wrong. These are not people who should be treated as just something for you to watch, but as actual people, as they are.

PS: My booty is fantastic.

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Venellian said:

As a trans woman who doesn't find almost anything offensive, I find some of the comments here offensive.
For one thing, the thought that trans people are just hairy men prancing about. A lot of trans women actually do look like women well before they get any surgery whatsoever. A hairy body? That can be fixed easily enough with electrolysis. A flat bottom and chest? Both are fixed with hormones.
Really, some people need to learn the difference between Transgendered (still totally looks like a boy or a girl but really is the opposite), Transexual (actually looks like the gender they are on the inside), and a crossdresser (someone who just dresses up like the other gender).

The mention that mtf trans people seem to go off the deep end with acting like a girl? That's because people who are more boyish are just going to keep on being a boy, and people who are neutral are just going to stay as a boy, but people who are more femme on the inside, like me, are the ones who are actually going to go through with something like this.

Hey Sicca, how about if people just wanted to watch you? I don't want people to see me (I don't want to have to see me, even), so how do you think that I feel about someone like you making some sort of a sick game out of me? Am I just some animal at a zoo for you to watch and enjoy, some kind of new reality show? How about all of the people who were killed just because they were trans, are they not people worthy of pity or something?
Just something to keep in mind; most trans people have already been broken, have already been told that their entire life is one that shouldn't be, that who they are is wrong. These are not people who should be treated as just something for you to watch, but as actual people, as they are.

PS: My booty is fantastic.

Vennellian,

Kudos to you and your fantastic booty. (Not sure why you made that comment but I am a butt woman so I'm all for that).

The truth is that people like to observe things that are different and or attractive. When I'm walking down the street holding hands with my woman people stare. I don't always like the attention but I'm aware of it and have gotten used to it. If you saw a trans woman walk by, I'm sure you would look at her from head to toe .... be honest. In fact, you probably would stare longer as you would be taking notes. We all do it. It's not a sick game, it's just human nature. Some people might actually argue that if a person is dressing like the other gender, then he or she actually may want to be looked at. Don't tell me that a man goes through all of the trouble, makeup, and wardrobe to look like a woman just to be ignored. I can't imagine what it's like to feel like you're trapped in a body that's not your own. Can't even wrap my mind around that. But, I don't think that most of us in the LGBT community see you as misfits at all. I think that we see you as courageous for daring to be who you were meant to be. Yes, we're still going to look because that's what women do ... but it's not because you're some animal at the zoo. Now, if trans women want to date cis women then there needs to be more open dialogue about how cis women experience trans women and vice versa. Respect and attraction are two very different things. I've noticed that trans women get pretty offended when cis women are open about their experiences with trans women or their attraction to them. Continuing the conversation is the only way to understand the thoughts and feelings on both sides.

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Guest PinKreem said:

I'm sorry to say but I personally would not even consider a mtf in a sexual/relationship way unless they went through the FULL transition because, hey, I'm a lesbian so it's only natural that I like pussy and curves, breasts, soft skin, etc. Not dicks, hairy bodies, flat asses that mtf still have. Also, the transgenderd demeanor still comes across as fake and glamorized to feminine stereotypes like a drag queen. Simply a man dressed up and prancing around as a female stereotype.

Thank you for putting that out there. As much as we might hate stereotypes, they still exist, and I think it's important to understand them. 

And while I haven't actually seen anyone else say this, I have already internalized it, and it is THE reason why I'm not very active on this site.

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Sicca said:

Vennellian,

Kudos to you and your fantastic booty. (Not sure why you made that comment but I am a butt woman so I'm all for that).

The truth is that people like to observe things that are different and or attractive. When I'm walking down the street holding hands with my woman people stare. I don't always like the attention but I'm aware of it and have gotten used to it. If you saw a trans woman walk by, I'm sure you would look at her from head to toe .... be honest. In fact, you probably would stare longer as you would be taking notes. We all do it. It's not a sick game, it's just human nature. Some people might actually argue that if a person is dressing like the other gender, then he or she actually may want to be looked at. Don't tell me that a man goes through all of the trouble, makeup, and wardrobe to look like a woman just to be ignored. I can't imagine what it's like to feel like you're trapped in a body that's not your own. Can't even wrap my mind around that. But, I don't think that most of us in the LGBT community see you as misfits at all. I think that we see you as courageous for daring to be who you were meant to be. Yes, we're still going to look because that's what women do ... but it's not because you're some animal at the zoo. Now, if trans women want to date cis women then there needs to be more open dialogue about how cis women experience trans women and vice versa. Respect and attraction are two very different things. I've noticed that trans women get pretty offended when cis women are open about their experiences with trans women or their attraction to them. Continuing the conversation is the only way to understand the thoughts and feelings on both sides.

Thank you Sicca!

I recall from a few years ago (as a male), I would look at ALL the women (or almost all...). Men do that. We can argue about whether it's social conditioning or hormones or whatever, it doesn't really matter why.

But the key point is that women are visible. Women are seen. (Until a certain age.) Men have the privilege of invisibility. And I realized very early on in my transition that I would be giving up that privilege. The upside is that now I get to wear clothes with WAY better colors and styles! And I get compliments on my outfits! And I give compliments too! It feels great to be noticed!

But one of the best things about transitioning is that I am no longer perceived as a threat just because of my gender, so women talk to me WAY more often now, and that's AWESOME!

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