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Where are the older wiser women?

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Another older and wiser...or maybe I should say 'mature and wiser'... I also still feel 25, although that was quite some time ago!

I have to say that each decade is getting better, and I am more comfortable with myself with each passing year.



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I am now in the (phoenix rising from the ashes) process of embracing my own depth of self, learning who I am and taking careful consideration of who and what I want in my life these days

I like this, I always seem to be there rising out of some ashes somewhere, well maybe a week off now and again where life appears calm. I'm 46, have a part of my brain/mind that can be wise/offer wisdom relating to specifics, and am amazed that when I need the sage wisdom for my own crises, I am like a little girl who knows nothing.. I love that too

Some younger women can offer wisdom too. When I was in my 20's I said something to a woman in her 70's and she said to my mum, 'shes been here before' I asked my mum what that meant, she said you say things sometimes that have wisdom older than your years. The saying 'out of the mouth of babes' is true, sometimes my 13 year old says things I think, 'how does she know that?'

I think we all, irrespective of age have wisdom AND childlike innocence and helplessness - we're human, frail and magnificent

A great thing about me getting older is how young my perspective is now compared with years ago when I thought I had to make it to prove I was as good as any man out there.. I made it, then fell apart disgracefully at 40 cos I thought it was all bollocks, best time of my life unwravelling, in the process I found out more about myself and continue to do .. I have more a sense of freedom, have more choice over who my friends are ..suffered a lot of bereavement and terrible life events and as a result really value a simple good life, laughter, creativity etc

I think wisdom is something a good friends helps us find in ourselves

Is there some linear attainment of older=wiser=no problems? nah, get out of that thinking .. whilst some things tend to not bother me nowadays like they used to, other things that never bothered me do so now lol and I have no illusion that things will get better as time goes by, for me accepting me, life etc on its own terms and doing the best I can is an achievement in itself

Until you lose your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is


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Having childlike qualities is one of the greatest treasures one can have. Think about it, the sense of wonder, innocence, curiosity, playfulness, etc. These help to keep us healthy, sane, and to enjoy life. The wisdom of age is to help us make the most out of the choices we make when we let our inner child play. Just because we age, does not mean we have to act older, unless of course it is for enjoyment. The Catten at my house is a perfect example. She is roughly six years old, but she still retains a lot of kitten-like qualities, especially when she plays. For the most part, she is a good role model.


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yup, got to be a kid, how else would we cope with the androids society has given us?

my 8 year old moggie is easily teased by a shoe lace 'running away', little kitten! :wink:
and I'm a Yorkshire old lessy, more interested in what my pussy is doing these days which is nothing in dual mode recently and would count for fun in a tantric way

Until you lose your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is


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If wiser means finally embracing a hidden side of oneself, then I'm there! I'm 45 and have finally decided to stop ignoring my urges and go for it. Difficult with three kids from two marriages, but hey, if not now, when?

What I'm finding, however, is that I'm like a lesbian leper. I've made lots of great friends, but no one wants to date or hook up with a newbie . . . they must think I'm just experimenting. The look on one woman's face last Sat said it all: I was at a meetup.com lesbian get-together at a bar, and stayed till it fizzled out (like I always do!) and there was just me and two couples left (on dates). One young woman said to me, "So, you didn't find anyone you liked tonight?" and I replied, "Nah, I guess no one wants to hook up with a newbie." She thought I meant new to the meetup.com group, and said something like, "Oh, that doesn't matter!" And I said, "No, new to the lifestyle" and before she could think, her lip curled up and she actually grimaced and said, "Oh, nooooo, eeewww" and then she realized I meant me, and said "Oh, but you're older, you KNOW what you want, that shouldn't matter." Good cover up, but her face said it all. I'm the lesbian leper.


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Hey gals :)

Older and wiser... well, I am a lil older lol. Wiser remains to be seen lol. I have been 'out' for a few years (a few as in how many hands am i allowed to use?) lol.
I have a philosophy, and it is this. Age and intelligence sometimes don't go hand in hand. And as a lesbian in this new world that has developed since the politics have evolved, I think the saying "we have come a long way baby' hits the mark.
We have come a long way ladies, and our foremothers lol have paved the way for us to be who we are. As an older lesbian I say let's make the most of what we have achieved.
Okay, Ill say it.. im 39 (holds hand to chest and gasps) lol. I will be 40 next year but does that number scare me? At times but I know that we are changing, the thinking about lesbians, gays etc is changing and we are being accepted for who we are.
So I say yay! and smile big because when I hit 40 I know that I will be in a different place than i am today, and it is because of the apparent 'older and wiser' lesbians and the present and up and coming gals who accept who they are.. and aren't afraid to say it :)


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so what ever happened with y'all?

Well hopefully happiness was found for all from within.
You are right when you say, and I am going to paraphrase; life/journey will lead you back to you again. No one will ever find their happiness in another person. True Happiness absolutely comes from within and it is not your friends, families or lovers responsibility to provide your happiness. They can always share and celebrate but not give you happy joy joy.


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I am going to broach a sensitive subject (well, at least for me this is very difficult). I have been alone for almost 2 years now. There are times when I am okay, but often feel - well, empty. I do passionately believe in social justice and experience moral outrage at the crimes of the corporate exploiters. This awakening happened about 10 years ago. Before that, I was your stumble along more-or-less post high-school educated Republican from an evangelical background. Thanks be to education, books, and an inner core of self that resonates with passion and solidarity of common people, I have learned much about the history of our nation, the labor history movement, and the socialist ideals of the great Eugene Deb and more recent heroes as Howard Zinn.

I am not looking so much for the sex side of it but am looking for someone who knows who Joe Hill, Sacco and Vanzetti, Mother Jones were. Do you know what the Luddlow Massacre is, or the Pullman Strike? Do you know about the Shirtwaist factory fire in the early 1900s?

I want a partner that we can work together for these things. I favor a butch woman, but one who also knows who the enemy is - and that enemy is the wealthy, the corporations, the rulers and their purchased governmental leaders; the enemy is the Christian evangelical, fundamentalist right-wing fascists. Yes, I know. I sound kind of crazy. Well, today I watched the film documentary about Ralph Nader, and who he is does in fact define my own anger and obsession with corporate criminals and the belief in their destruction.
Anyone here like that for me?


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Older & wiser femme here! 53 and I've always dated younger butch women (5 to 10 yrs younger)...I've figured they could keep up with me.

I know I am much wiser than when I was a mere baby in this lifestyle. A good match (older/younger couple) compliments the others age. To me younger butch women is in another generation than myself, and I enjoy hearing what they have to say, what they have done, seeing them continue to grow and love their energy.

Soooo, try it once at least! That older woman might reach out and show you a few things! :)

Edited by G8torGirl1959, 04 March 2013 - 09:44 AM.


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well, my mind periodically wanders and sometimes gets distracted, or is it lost? still trying to learn something each day.

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