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at what stage in transition is a transsexual considered/accepted as the gender that they present? about 90% of the time, i get "ma'am'ed as i hope to be, but there is always that time or three, someone just goes haywire because i am trying to live 100% in role. besides the person(s) getting really nasty about it, it also fels like all previoous effort is shot completely to hell.


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I think this is kind of a tricky thing.

I think, you are accepted as the gender you present as, when other people accept you as that. I know that's sort of like defining a word by using the word, but that seems to me to be the best way to describe it.

So, if 90% of people accept you as your presenting gender, I think that pretty much means you are accepted as part of that gender. Those couple that are jerks about it, while making situations suck, doesn't mean that you aren't accepted by everyone else as a woman.

I guess, you could liken it to being gay. Obviously not the same thing, but does a few people not accepting the fact that one is gay not make it so?

Of course, I completely understand feeling like everything is completely for naught when that one random person clocks you, And it really sucks. But I think that at the point of 90% passing rate, you're definitely accepted.
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
- Anne Bronte, "The Narrow Way"


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I'm biologically female, with no plans on ever transitioning, and I get "sir"ed from time to time- so I would say that if 90% of the time you're publicly being accepted as female, you've got it. I've had police officers ID me, and question the validity of my driver's lisence because THEY thought I was a boy, and the box on my ID says "F".

I wouldn't bother trying to explain yourself to people. Just tell them they've made a mistake and that you're female- it's their perception of reality that's wrong :D
"gender is drag" ~ Judith Butler


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I'm replying to this pretty late, but I still wanted to say...

No matter how good and sweet and honest and awesome you are... There will always be critics. There will always be naive people who have to open their mouths before they even know what they are really talking about. So, embrace the good experiences and good people, and remember that the people who judge and criticize just haven't been blessed with really knowing someone as wonderful as you are. Don't you feel bad for them? They really are missing out! ^_^

"Be yourself. No one else can do it better!" =^_^=


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The and most improtant part, is NOT deending on OTHERS, for your sense of self- worth! The more confidence you project, the more the people you come into contact with, will see you as that which you desire to be seen as.

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