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Interesting thought

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I've read some of the posts in here and they only added fuel to my fire, so to speak. You see, often times I have to tell people I'm bi or pan or something. Lately, I've decided that labels aren't really my thing because to me labels seem to want me to be a certain way if I choose to label myself as something.
At the moment, sexuality wise, I can't be any more clear than saying "gender blind". To me this means what ever representation of whatever gender(or combination of gender as the case may be) or sexuality you identify with at the moment, doesn't affect my attraction or lack thereof to you as a person.
However, after reading I got to thinking and I had another interesting thought. I do have a much stronger attraction to women, and have as long as I can remember. I am attracted to some men, but not all. Most of the time, and I'll admit this can be shallow, I am attracted to "pretty" men or boys. Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Elijah Wood, you know the kind. I also noticed that I am attracted to effeminate men; usually they are either gay guys or straight men who are just too damn pretty, :). Then another very interesting thing occured to me whilst perusing the posts in this section; no one has mentioned(that I saw, so I may have missed it) androgenous people. I like androgenous people, and the few I've ever met who I truly could not tell which gender they were until I asked were all attractive to me. I don't even know if there is a sexuality for that in itself, but I guess it would just depend on what their sexual preference was.
I find it very strange when trying to decide what to tell people. I will tell them, yes I like women. Why? Women are pretty, period. Men...not always "pretty". Maybe it's just that I'm more attracted to women or individuals who identify as women. I have also unfortunately fallen for homosexual men too, so maybe it's just people in general who are "feminine" in general.
That said, I don't think bisexual necesarily sums up who I like romantically, but I guess if I love someone it matters little what we do or don't label each other.


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I would say instead of a label as such saying "I'm open and undefined" is a good approach.

Me? I'm definitely a Lesbian through and through but completely understand those who are open and undefined.

Besides, who cares what people call you as long as you can date whomever you like. 8)


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i was married for 10 years to a "pretty boy" who desparately tried to hide his prettiness with facial hair and biker garb (poor guy could grow a decent mustache but was basically hairless otherwise - lucky me) he confided in me that he always felt that he was "a lesbian trapped in a man's body" I don't think he was trans or if he was he was content with the body parts he had - so was I. My next relationship was with another very pretty man who after a year together also confided that he felt he was a "male lesbian" We were together for 4 years.

There were problems in these relationships that caused our break-ups but they were also very positive and comfortable relationships. The sex was great and we were extremely attracted to each other.

So, I figure that I am attracted to trans mtf people. But it seems that most mtf trans people are into men. A beautiful transvestite would be my dream mate and drag queens make me weak in the knees.

Maybe I am alone in this since I have noticed that few almost all the women on this site state that they would only date women born as women. WHY? And what do I call myself if I like my lesbians to be male?
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world" buddha

Painted Brumby

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I find language restrictive at times, especially for describing gender and sexual preference. While some labels are handy for discussion, I don't like to adhere to them too closely for defining who I am or who others are. Years ago when I first realized I was lesbian, I wanted to identify with who I was and thought a lot about was I butch or feminine. Just how gay am I? Am I lesbian or bi? At one time early on, I even wanted to rent a blimp or private plane with a streamer that said "I'm a lesbian and I'm in love!" I thought everyone would be happy for my happiness. Not necessarily the case, as I sadly found out. As I later discovered, I fluctuate on the butch/feminine scale. At times, I'm more fem. At other times, I'm more butch. But more often, I'm a combination, predominately residing in the mid range, yet fluctuating.

There's no doubt that I prefer women exclusively. Not all women, as some of my straight friends naively worry. But, when I'm attracted to someone, the attraction is for a woman. I'm, also, comfortable being a natural woman. Even though there's a side of me that can be a bit of a tomboy or even a bit transgender, I don't have any desire to change any physical part of me nor do I feel I need to re-label or redefine myself. (I do not, however, judge others that feel differently about themselves. Live and let live, I say.)

Talking with friends/family about my gender/sexuality preference is, generally, not so important to me any more. It's not something that I tend to discuss with them. I guess I'm kind of private, where this subject is concerned. And, I think feeling comfortable with who I am has a lot to do with not feeling like I need to frequently include this topic in my conversations. I guess the bottom line is that, in my opinion, labels cannot fully define a person. We're too unique, too complicated for labels. We fluctuate too much for labels. Labels are too restrictive. Labels can only be somewhat helpful in discussion. But in truly defining who we are, there is no box.


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I have said over the years that I am bi because I have been interested in both men and women. I stopped saying that after a while because a lot of people, including gay/lesbians would tell me that was wrong and I needed to "pick". I don't want to miss being with someone who would be good for me just because I chose one gender and they were the other. I want to be open to the person who is for me period. I actually possess both masculine and feminine traits emotionally and physically. I have big hands and bones. I'm strong and I would make a good bouncer, however, I also enjoy serenity and gentleness. I guess I would still say bi, but I'm really just me.


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I guess I would still say bi, but I'm really just me.

just me. I like that.

Seems like most of the comments in the 'identities' section are along those lines - be who you are, regardless of labels. Which is nice.

Life is fluid, and for all our predictions and hopes for the future, all we truly have is this moment. So enjoy who you are, now. Accept yourself without judgment, and extend to others that same courtesy.

We don't need labels, just the freedom to live honestly. Whether that be with a woman, a man, a transgendered person, or any combination/variation of the above.


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I personally feel the same way you do "Jess2185". I would call myself a pansexual and I also identify inside as more male than female (I do recognize that I have a female side, but just do not do a lot of girlie stuff). I am equally attracted to Sandra Bullock (because she is strong and cares for others) and Misha Collins (because he has a feminine side and cares for others). But I have found transgendered males and females, gender fluid, and intersexual individuals attractive also. I say as long as the person is loving, caring, compassionate, funny, a science fiction geek, and at least a little sexual, they are fair game. :smoke: I tell my mother I'm going to need a husband and wife to help me pay my student loans anyway. ;-)

Edited by Atlantis, 25 September 2013 - 11:20 AM.

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