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Is your family accepting of your being gay?

I am moving out after I go with my girl back to her home state to meet her parents. But My family has not accepted me yet as being a lesbian and are upset that I am going on this trip. my mother has taken down all family photos where I am in the photo. She has even threatened to put my things on the front lawna and they will be waiting for me when i get back. i have threatened to call the police if she tries to do that. She said she is not going to let me leave the house with anything other than the things I bought with my own money wheich are 2 computers, guitars and a few other things.

She is alos not happy with the fact that i bought my girl a ring and we are planning on being married next year.My mother does not understand that i have been gay all my life and just now came to terms with it. I dated me to please her and hated it. But am so much happier now that I have come out.this only half the story. my mom has done some crazy stuff o me since i have come out. My parents have also threatened to diown me if I marry her and move out. My girls family on the other hand is very accepting of her lifstyle and has said I am part of their family.

Is your family accepting of you gay lifestyle and accept your girlfriedn/partner as part of the family or do they subject you to the torture of belitting her when they do not even know her? My family has never met my girl but is always putting her down .

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I think my mom probably suspects that I'm gay. I remember in high school I got a job as a camp counselor and fell for one of the other counselors there. When word got out towards the end of the summer, someone complained to my boss and we both almost got fired. I told my mom that none of it was true, but I'm sure she figured out that something was up. She and my father made it perfectly clear after that that I would never be completely disowned if I came out, but that my girlfriend would never ever be accepted as part of the family nor welcome in their house. I guess that's why I've never come out to my family. It's sort of a don't ask don't tell situation. I think your decision to come out was very brave and I admire the fact that you are true to yourself and your relationship regardless of what they think. I know that can't be easy.

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I'm absolutely petrified about coming out to my family. I'm bisexual and I'm pretty sure they would see it as a phase (best case scenario). I don't think I could ever come out to my family without a serious girlfriend there holding my hand and helping me through it. I've only dated men for the sheer fear factor of what they would do if they saw me with a woman. I mean, after my grandfather (whom I live with) told me that all gay people are "fucked up in the head and need constant therapy" and I think it pretty much scared me for life into the closet.  anyone else have a totally closed minded family?

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I kept being lesbian from my parents for a long time, then one day I just felt they needed to know because I was tired of trying to hide it. I had wrote a short story about my relationship with my girlfriend and left it sitting on my desk with a big red bow on it, because I know my mom couldn't resist. That was seven years ago and they still don't want to accept the fact that I'm gay, but it is something just not talked about. I have come out to all of my friends, but the rest of my distant family doesn't know. The only one that has been really cool with it in my immediate family is My sister and I love her for accepting me and not treating me like some diseased human. I can empathize with all you girls who have a fear of coming out to your families. It is hard, but when you do, yes they may over react, say things that will hurt your feelings, but eventually accept you for who you are. And if they don't, then just know that there is someone out there who loves you exactly the way you are! You don't need anyone's approval to be who you are!

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my immediate family knows. my sister is bisexual, my mother is a lesbian, and my father is bi-curious. :]

some of my aunts know, as well as my gma. the only ones in my family that have a problem with it arent worth my time anyway.

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My family knows and at first they were not happy about it at all. Now most have accepted me for who I am with the exception of one of my brothers wives who is somewhat of a snob to begin with(I Have 4 brothers and am the only girl as well as the youngest).

Hopefully your family with come around in time. It took my parents, esp my father, almost two years before they realized its not just a "phase" I am going through

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Awww there's some heart breaking stuff in here.

I am out to most people, my son and brother both cried when I came out, my son asked me after I had told him, (I was late out the starting blocks I guess, I was 47 yrs old when I came out), anyway, he listened to me, then he looked at me and said he had one question that desperately needed to be answered, lol, I told him ask me anything as he had always been encouraged to do, he was 19, he asked me , because I was coming out to him, did that mean he had to stop loving me? Was that the end of the love that I had filled his life with? I said no, we both cried. He later told me the same thing my brother said when I told him, that they cried because I had lost too many years in finding someone who would love me, as in a relationship.

My sister I am not out too basically because I haven't gotten round to that yet, she has a very very homophobic husband and while that is of no concern to me, I have yet to add it to the "to do list"

But here's a question for you all, Do we ever really ever stop coming out?

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This is exactly how the beginning of the conversation went:

"Dad, I'm gay."

- silence -

"Me too. Well, halfway."

And here I thought he was gonna start yelling at me and stuff. 

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i am bisexual and i came out to my family when i was 14. Ofcourse everyone thought it was a faze. Then when i had my first girlfriend when i was 18 everyone thought i was gay. my close famiy have always been excepting. then for some reason one of my cousins told my grandmother. She was so disgusted she called my grandmother on my mothers side who i saw pretty ofen. Whenever i would go around my grandmother she would say the nastiest things about gay people and talk about how lesbians are soo disgusting and how she doesnt understand it. Then went on to say that all homos are going to hell. The fact that she didnt even say things to me directly just in this passive aggressive taunting was so hurtfull. Even though it hurt I still tried to be happy about the people that were excepting.

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Sorry to hear that is still going on in people's lives. I have been out of the closet for over 20 years. I left home at an early age--before 16. But even so, after my mom found out, I swear she talked to all the preachers at all the churches in town. My mom went to many churches in my childhood. So, I felt that she was stalking me and I tried hiding, hiding where I lived, worked, phone numbers. I did not contact her until I was out of state and in the Army. Then I wrote her some letters. That helped but she still would pull girlfriends aside and tell them I was not a lesbian... make up stories about why I was not with men... and between relationships, she was always and still does bring up boys names I was friends with in elementary and junior high school. She wants to fix me up with a nice husband... if we lived in the same town. I moved hours away from my mother to keep her out of my private life. When I was coming out of the closet back in the 80s, there were a lot of young women with similar stories. Some of them were entirely disowned. At least I know my mother loves me even though she does not respect me.

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i came out to one of my brothers and his wife first. we are really close, and my brother and his wife are great and really accepting. I came out to my parents and my other brother and his wife via e-mail. I tried to write them a letter first, but apparently it got lost in the mail and they never received it. I think my mom got it, and destroyed it, actually. Any way, so then I tried e-mail. they responded with a completely new e-mail, new subject line, none of my message, and just said "We love you" we have never actually talked about it beyond that. I know my parents can't handle it.I know my one brother cant handle it i knew if i told them in person, i would not be heard, and id just get a lot of hurt feelings and judgments out of it, so I wrote.

At Christmas time, I went home for a visit, ad while i was there I also filmed a message of hope for Gay and Lesbian members of my faith. At this point, i was toeing a line of "church approved" message and life style thinking this would allow me to be authentically me, and would be something that my parents could be accepting of and maybe even supportive of, because it didn't go against their beliefs. I don't regret doing the film, because i spoke very honestly about my feelings and experiences, though they were a bit edited and watered down.

However, just as I was heading to the airport to go home, my dad decided to pick a fight with me over it, and told me what I was doing was wrong (even though according to his beliefs, i actually hadn't done anything wrong). That harsh judgement at that moment showed me my dad is unlikely to ever be supportive, and we will probably never talk about it without fighting. my non supportive brother is just like my dad. My mom, however, over Christmas, showed me that she was willing to talk about things- one on one, when my dad wasn't around, that she was willing to have an open mind, and change some of her thinking. She admitted to having stereo types and bigotry about the whole thing, but that she was willing to learn and change her mind, based on my experiences. that's pretty much the only time we have talked about it, she isn't really comfortable discussing it, and she can't do anything that would cross my dad. I expect that my mom and my one brother will be supportive of me no matter what i do and choose and who i love, and however i live my life. My dad and my other brother probably wont support me or accept me no matter what i do, and that really breaks my heart and makes me sad. But, as hard as telling them was, I'm glad I did, because now I know where I really stand, and who I can really trust.

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after the long drawn out process of coming out to fiends, family, and coworkers, i just gave up. i mean what is the point of repeatedly subjecting oneself to such stressors? the signs are there for them to see, i honestly do not feel obligated to read the signs to them. if they know me well enough, then they also know my gender and orientation. for the rest, if scandal and gossip is what they are after, go read the paper.

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the process of coming out for me started as damage control at first. tell the parental units first before someone with a big mouth and a grudge does. so it happens and gets swept under the rug for a few years. after all, out of sight, out of mind. this was while i was living in a different state than where i grew up. then a couple of years later, i came out again as ts. this was met with the coulda, woulda, shouldas. again, out of sight, out of mind. then finally got sick of it all, picked up my toys and said "screw ou guys, i'm outta here." well now the heffalump is in the living room. even though i had my own place, i was now accessible to the family. that is when the rift began. with all that, i still had come out to my friends in chunks of time. coming out to coworkers and even bosses. this is where i learned that coming out is a litmus test of relationships. after all of that, i finally just said "fuck it. i am me and they can choose how to deal or not deal with it." trust me, it sounds easier than it was, but it took a whole load of stress of my mind by being able to do that. your mileage may vary.

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To tell you the truth, I haven't told my parents.

I have told my sisters (They were super excited and have been super supportive) and a few of my friends.

I think I am holding back because I know it would break my mom's heart. I grew up Mormon having any kind of opinion that the church doesn't agree with is a touchy subject.

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Not everyone in my family knows that I am gay, but the ones that do accepts it. My mom is another story though. I told her that I was gay almost 6 years ago. It seems like I have to "come out" to her every year. I'm 24 and she still thinks I'm going through some sort of phase. She can be very judgmental at times. It's gotten to the point where it's just something that we don't talk about. 

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Because of my political orientation of being a Communist I really don't like the outing culture but I understand it's importance. So on one hand I'm getting mccarthyism paranoia and the other I'm going Shoot if I'm out not only will people find me but also I can get to know others much easier since we've been lumped in same category.  SO I've only told my friends and sister but My family doesn't know and would not accept it. When my sister came out as Bi they thought she was just swept in the times and the extended family was appalled and just choose not to think on it. 

I wish we could all just be Humans living life and exploring and enjoying everything life offers. But alas objective reality isn't there yet... *sigh*

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I came out to my father on the phone, after being nagged by my first girlfriend. I was 40. There was silence for a while, then he said something about he could understand because of my 'terrible marriage'. I explained that if I'd met someone 20 years before, I'd have told him then. More silence, then 'You know it goes against everything I believe in'. I knew. Then he said he would pray for me. The next day he told me he had brought it up in a church elders meeting, and that they had all prayed for me. We haven't talked about it since, he just doesn't want to think about it. My brother and sister were great. My sons were in their teens when I came out, and it was hard for them, although we have a very close and open relationship now. My daughter, as the youngest, had 2 mums for a while and was bridesmaid to my friends, a lesbian couple, when civil partnerships first became legal in 2005. She doesn't think it in anyway unusual that mum likes girls. She likes girls too!

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I can't remember a time when I wasn't attracted to girls. But such things were not talked about in the Midwest during the 70s and 80s. I didn't understand that the attraction was perfectly normal and that there was a whole lesbian culture out there willing to welcome me with open arms. So I bottled it up. Kept it hidden from everyone.  I never pretended to be straight nor did I fool myself into believing I could be if I just engaged in the art of "fake it til you make it". Instead I became asexual. Never dated or showed any outward interest in anyone at all. In 1986 I joined the US Marine Corp. I had just turned 18 four months before I left for boot camp. Once I was out in the big bad world, rubbing elbows with people from all walks of life, I discovered...well, me actually. But I was a member of the military before "don't ask, don't tell" so coming out was not an option if I intended to remain on active duty. So, finding out I wasn't broken as I had believed up to that point, changed very little. Except that I was now relegated to secret trysts that could never be spoken of or brought to light for fear of facing criminal charges. I became downright paranoid about being found out and refused to discuss it in any way with anyone - in or out of the Marine Corp. By the time I was discharged and sent back home, I had a huge collection of coming out stories from people I knew, most of which contained some element of rejection, hatred or violence. I was no longer paranoid about being outed, now I was leery and afraid. At 27, I'd had enough of all the secrets and lies so i decided to tell my parents. I braced myself for the worst and then...it was quite possibly the most beautifully anticlimactic moment of my life. My Mom said, "so, you're still my daughter." And what did Dad say? "Yep." That was it. Funny how sometimes the things we think will be a big deal, just aren't. 

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