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I've been reading with interst the whole label thing on this forum and I've come to the conclusion that we label ourselves as much as the rest of the world does. Label don't make us who we are. Labels are some one elses perception of us. If you let yourself be boxed in with the "I'm butch and will only date a femme" or vice versa you are limiting youself to only meeting or dating a certain type of person and I think you're missing out on a world of exploration and variety and getting to know people for who the truely are and not the label you perceive them to be. personnally, Idon't identify anyway except as a woman who loves women. I don't have a type and I have dated all kinds of people. I've mangaged to learn a little about my self everytime. ( I just had this conversation with a friend). I am no ones usual type either. So try reaching out of the box a little the next time you meet some one who doesn't fit your label.


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I think just the opposite. Labels are something you can apply to YOURSELF to quickly describe who you are to the outside world. If you CHOOSE the label "butch who will only date femme," that is because you feel that you are butch, regardless of what other people might think, and you know that you are only attracted to femmes. That doesn't mean that you have to live with those labels for the rest of your life, or that some butch won't come sweep you off of your feet, but you can no more let yourself be put into a box without your consent than pigs can fly.


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I have been out since I was 17. 30 years And yes I have dated all types of women throughout the years. But, soon after coming out I had my first Butch/femme relationship. And I realized that I was much more attracted to and fit into the Butch/Femme dynamic. I label myself femme and that loves Butch women. Yes, I love all women but what I am truely attracted to is is Butch women. I love labels!


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Hmm... girlie girl, tomboy, soft butch, ultra femme, lipstick femme, bull dyke, biker bitch, hard butch, practical femme, classic femme, tweeners... the list goes on and on and on.

Then you have people, like me, where you need to come up with a whole new label, which happens to be a total lesbian oxymoron: a "jockette lipstick." I've also been called an, "Amazon Femme." But, my personal favorite is: a "Valkyrie." (Hey, at 5'9", I'm a small Amazon, I'd be part of the crew. But, as a Valkyrie, I'd be their queen!)

All those silly little labels. But, sadly, they do have their place, especially when dealing with description. If I were to learn that you were a soft butch, I would have a slight clue, as to the type of person I would expect to meet. Afterwards, I would have something to use to help describe the wonderful person I had just met.

On the other side of the coin; how many of us, strictly adhere to just one label design? For instance, I may bbe a femme, but I can certainly change a tire and I love sports.

More importantly, to me, it is not the label that matters, it is the heart of the person and how that person treats and respects me and others. Although I may say, "looking for soft butch", to be 100% honest, Ultra-femme to ultra-butch, it is not the label, it is the heart for whom I seek. The label is irrelavent, if it be the right person.


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A friend of mine (who is femme) met some one the other day on line (who is burch) and when they talked on the phone they found they had a lot in common until the gal my friend called asked the Butch/Femme question and when she didn't get the answer she liked, hung up!...No one likes to be sterotyped..I sure don't... but we seem to quickly steotype/label everyone that we meet..I guess it's human nature to sort out those people we like or are attracted to or are comfotable with from those that we don't like. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I believe that we are all like facets of beautiful diamonds and that we need to keep our mind and hearts open to the real beauty in others and not just dismiss them because of a label (which might be wrong,)



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Labels. Every one is entitled to use ‘em or loose ‘em.

They can be helpful in some instances like when I need to read the ingredients of a product I intend to purchase or when a manufacturer warns a consumer of a hazardous situation.

In my opinion, there are no suitable labels for each and every one of us because no two humans are alike. Labels in a forum such as this are an instrumental tool designed to help others find an identity/relation in which they feel most comfortable using. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. What a shame the other lady hung up after finding such a lovely connection with your friend Josy, she obviously was not your friend’s type after all.

My personal choice is to not limit my self in a label since I am multi faceted and I can not understand some peoples’ prejudice associated with certain labels/words. Besides, I am very happy with who I am and how I am.

Peace :)


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many labels in Thailand ...


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Whether, you are -butch,femme,gay ,straight ,bi,a man or a woman..fat or skinny..black or white..or anything else..we are all labeled ,someway or the other..but there are no right or wrong answer here...you are who you are, and like what you like..and thats just how WE ,as people associate with each other..and there nothing wrong with that.... Me, i'm a 40yr old, white- butch lesbian,who likes femme women..(or at least on the femme side)..but you can never really pick who you fall in love with or who you become attracted to...it just happens...i've been with butches and femmes...and i like being with femmes most of all...thats just me and what I LIKE.....So, if you were to describe yourself...without labeling....what would you say????...feel free to reply...or email me....

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