b02609

emotional/physical attraction but not sexual

I fantasize of kissing girls, making out with them, and kissing their breasts, but have no desire to touch them down there. It's such a weird place to draw the line. I emotionally connect with females, and it's easy for me to just fall head over heels for a female. I have no such intimate connection with or fantasy to kiss guys. I do sometimes feel the urge to have intercourse with but not a relationship with a guy. Anyone else feel this way? Is it possible for me to ever be happy?

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It sounds like you're putting the cart before the horse here, worrying about how a relationship with a woman that doesn't sound as if it actually even exists yet (at least, physically) is ultimately going to progress and how you might entirely hypothetically feel about that. I don't think that's the Happy Happy Fun Fun kind of anticipation. Nor is it necessary or helpful.

If you decide you might like to experiment with a particular woman, tell her you want to take things

very

Very

VERY

sloooooooooooooowly.

(There's still nothing wrong with that, you know. Some people do still do that, even in this day and age.)

If whoever isn't OK with going really slowly, she's not the right person for you to experiment with. Find someone else who is OK with it.

Meanwhile, it's fairly normal to have a certain amount of trepidation about any new experience. You don't know what it will be like, exactly how you'll react, if you feel like you'll know what to do next, etc.

HOWEVER. I also think that . . . how shall I put this . . . ***IF*** "first base" goes really well ***AND*** you give yourself an adequate amount of time to get used to that intellectually and emotionally, "second base" will become more appealing. And so on, and so forth. And then your "line" will probably become a thing of the past, rearview mirror only.

OR, if additional bases do NOT become more appealing over some period of time, then it just wasn't meant to be with you and more intimate relationships with women. Then you'll go back to having those relationships with men only. Meanwhile, the urge to kiss your female friends will probably fade if not go away entirely, now that your curiosity has been sated and it didn't totally ring your bell.

Either way, there you go. Getting all worried in advance = not that helpful or necessary.

Good luck.

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Thanks so much for the response, Ramona! It gives me hope. I'm new to all this... First base would be a good start :)

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Hey there..

When asked from bi-curious gals how it feels to be with a woman and what happens 'exactly' I tell them this..

It's foreplay.. imagine being with a man or woman.. and having intense, very pleasurable, exploring foreplay.. for a long period of time. Imagine the slow soft touches etc.. all the foreplay you can imagine and touching on every sense in your body.. touch.. taste..sound and wrap that in one package and that is what you get. There is no intrusion of any body part lol..(i hope we know what i mean by that lol) and you get the anticipation of what will happen next, the very intimate pleasure etc.

Between women there is a very intense intimate connection, and combine that with physical desire well.. need i say more?

If you've never been with a woman intimately, and find yourself not too keen on the more personal aspect of it then go for the make out session.. kissing, touching, the slow exploration.. thats what its all about and if it feels right the rest will come.. when your ready.

Enjoy and I hope you found out how really very amazing it can be

C

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Don't know if this will help, but I felt that way for years. Not that the thought was completely unattractive, but just kind of nerve wracking I guess? Not gross, but just not knowing what to expect so I sort of never thought about it. UNTIL, I fell in love with someone and after that the thought suddenly grew to I couldn't wait to experience it! But I was still scared s**tless! Even knowing your own body doesn't prepare you for your first time pleasing someone else. Maybe you'll start to think about it when you fall in love and it becomes more than just sexual?

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Hi MissX, Thank you for the post. That description was amazing! Now that makes me look forward to it. Too bad I've only fallen for (straight?) girls secretly, but hoping one day there will be a girl who likes me in that way and I can find out... may take a while...

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Also thanks, from East Texas, you expressed it well, it might just be the unknown that's frightening me. The idea of pleasing someone else is growing on me as well, as I fall for a girl and could imagine doing that to her because I want to get closer...

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Hi there b02609,

I hope that you have had the chance to have such an experience as we have discussed here. I expressed it well because I've had the chance to have the experience many many times, and having said that I hope that if you have had your first chance that you were the one who was pleased.

Pleasing your new partner will come naturally. It will feel natural. I'd say ask the last curious first timer i was with but she is now with her own partner of 1 yr. :) In being with me, and being with a woman, she found what she always wanted. 

So i hope that you have found what you have been looking for... because when you do.. it will blow your mind with the right person :) 

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