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How do you start to talk with someone that you like?

Hi. I'm new here and I may need little help ladies....

So, initial attraction hasn't been that hard, luckily if I have liked someone I get this whole eye-to-eye thing for few seconds and I know the attraction has been reciprocated.

HOWEVER, I'm clueless as to what to do next, unless someone always makes the first move, I don't know how to...and it will be nice to be the first one to start a conversation or take the lead for once...

The problem is I don't know what to say...I don't want to be too obvious so I overthink the situation and eventually end up leaving and without saying anything, any help or advices please? How do you all initiate a conversation with someone you feel attracted to? How do you keep it casual? And finally, how do you flirt?

Thanks!!

Abee

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I have two techniques, the first one I am about to tell you about is the one i use most regularly, because believe it or not I am really quite shy.

Option 1: observe- watch how they interact what is her body is saying. Liston (well ease drop) on what she is saying to the group or person they are talking to. If you have the opportunity watch her for a bit before initiating first contact, See how she treats other people.

Then after doing all of my

stalking
I will then speak to her... its takes a long time, and doesn't always work out, but at least when we first talk I have a slight idea of what she may be interested in, that way I have an idea about what to say or ask her about. it also helps me pass by people who aren't very kind- If the person I think is beautiful isn't really beautiful where it matters most I would rather not have wasted my time (but Me personally i don't like mean people 2-3 years down the road)

Option2: I go up try and talk to them by commenting on how interesting something going on is or an article of clothing they are waring is. usually I sound like a rambling idiot....

But the point being in both options, find a common ground Even if it is the weather. Seriously....

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Talking about the weather only really works if its an usually lovely day. I find that complaining is a major turn off for me. however if its particularly gloomy and you think its going to rain you can say and its TRUE you can say "hey I notice you walked here, would you like a ride It looks like it might rain."

One thing I found quite nice being female and being attracted to females, most women don't find you a threat the same way a male can be seen. But then again I am sadly rather closeted. Most people think I am strait....

Being kind to some one you like is super important. I know it seems like one of those "well duh" moments but you would be surprised how many people tease some one they are attracted to out of nervousness or are just a violent flirt...

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its really how amazingly simple something can be with the right circumstances. its funny it took my partner and I 3 years to admit that we where interested in each other (me because I normally I am not attracted to men. he is the only one)

Timing never seemed to be right, and I was having issues with his gender. Which is horrifyingly embarrassing to admit to. Specially since i often posed as a strait queer ally. 

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There is always the classic screwing up the courage and approaching somewhat embarrassed/flustered and stammering/stuttering of a very clumsy greeting. Somehow it never seems to get easier. If all else fails, borrow a friend's dog or child. My friends would always borrow my rugrat to start chatting up women and it never failed.

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Hi. I'm new here and I may need little help ladies....

So, initial attrac And finally, how do you flirt?

Thanks!!

Abee

Its probably not the best idea to think in terms of "looking for signs", as a way to judge a person's receptibility or availability..

"what is her body language.........did she just lick her lips twice, ....did i notice her pupils dilate.....are her breaths coming faster.....did she just cross and uncross her legs...did she just slip her pump off her heel to expose her arch...""

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thats a whole lot of manic studying going on when just a friendly smile and very casual conversation about nothing serious is a much better way to break the ice.

Women respond best to calm confidence and friendliness., and they respond badly if you come to them all hot and bothered and out of control and obvious.

And finally, if you want someone to be interested in you, then you need to BE interesting and humorous.

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Hi. I'm new here and I may need little help ladies....

So, initial attraction hasn't been that hard, luckily if I have liked someone I get this whole eye-to-eye thing for few seconds and I know the attraction has been reciprocated.

HOWEVER, I'm clueless as to what to do next, unless someone always makes the first move, I don't know how to...and it will be nice to be the first one to start a conversation or take the lead for once...

The problem is I don't know what to say...I don't want to be too obvious so I overthink the situation and eventually end up leaving and without saying anything, any help or advices please? How do you all initiate a conversation with someone you feel attracted to? How do you keep it casual? And finally, how do you flirt?

Thanks!!

Abee

Abee,

Try something casual. It may sound silly, but pay attention to what she is wearing and casually mention something like this. "I love those shoes, or shirt, ear rings any of it. Where did you get them or it?" Its a way to start a casual conversation and that little praising/compliment, that many on here are talking about. Don't be discouraged if that's the extent of the conversation the first time around. Keep working at it a lil each time. The idea is to slowly make her feel more comfortable, relaxed and a connection is slowly building. Also ask her about her interests, after the first conversation unless she continues talking to you. This way you opened the door, said something nice and made her feel good. The next move is up to her.

I hope this helps.

Sonja

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this topic really made me smile  thanks guys....

I use to be very relaxed when approaching a girl and I had no problems having a conversation about all and nothing,but the last few years have been so weird for me... i have changed...i cant even think of going to someone ... Im somehow all afraid she may have a partner or im not her type and all possible things... 

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Quote
this topic really made me smile  thanks guys....

I use to be very relaxed when approaching a girl and I had no problems having a conversation about all and nothing,but the last few years have been so weird for me... i have changed...i cant even think of going to someone ... Im somehow all afraid she may have a partner or im not her type and all possible things... 

Well, that is perfectly normal to feel that way. Even I do. I used to be able to walk up to anyone and know just what to say, now its different. My first thought is, well I know I'm a very weird person and many people get creeped out by weird people, especially those with a dark humor. But we just have got to keep at it and eventually, we will all meet someone that will like us as we are. 

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I have a bit of the same problem as well. I'm so shy and I suppose afraid of rejection that I end up leaving without saying anything, or worse, they leave before I get the courage to... which would still be never, but it still sucks that my opportunity leaves.

I try and compliment them on something about them after I've observed the way they interact with others as well as their body language.

About a week ago, I actually gave my number to the really cute girl. Turns out she was only slightly on the fence of being bi instead of straight, but she was really flattered and even though I was a bit bummed she never called, it still made me feel good that I mustered up the courage to do so. =)

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I am in the same place - I don't even know how to approach someone as I am just coming out. I have never been one to take the initiative and am afraid of "doing the wrong thing" . I am a great observer of people though and hope that with a bit of time I will be brave !! Sometimes we just have to take the chance and we may find everything we've ever wanted.

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I try to look into her eyes, you can tell a lot from her reaction. She won't break the stare if she is interested.

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I have tried to send messages to womyn on here who I found interesting... and I don't even get a "not interested". Just dead silence. Makes it hard to try again. Why can't people at least be nice and realize what an effort it is to send the first tentative hello?

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If I like a girl I'm usually really shy in person, occasionally make eye contact with her but not too much I try and play it cool. I find it hard to just walk up to her and start talking unless she makes conversation then I respond. As I'm new to liking girls its different experience for me as guys use to approach me and I've never really been the dominant one to just approach someone

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It's always best to just be yourself and say hello! Nothing wrong with a nice smile when you ask how she's doin. Most people will respond by the energy you give off, so relax and breathe. When they see you smiling and relaxed being cool she'll feel that and usually copy you right back. Cuts tension like you wouldn't believe. If she's not interested she'll be kind enough to excuse herself but all is still good no hurt feelings, remember, you were just saying, "Hello"!

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So, sometimes I'm bursting with conversation and others I'm a quiet turtle, but if I'm really interested in someone, I usually say "Hey, what's up?" and if she starts talking, if there is a certain topic that you can relate to, respond to it. Such as, if she says, "Well, I live with my dad and my cat." you could ask, "Oh, what's your cat's name?" And then she might tell a little story about her cat, such as, "Boo, and one time she stood in the window sill on Halloween, and people thought that she was fake, then she moved and it scared the kids away." And then you could add a concluding joke to make her laugh or something, like, "Well, I guess the kids couldn't take the Boo."

It's been a while since I've been that social ^^' but there's a thought.

And I dunno if making jokes are good or bad, sometimes, and sarcasm may not get across to some people. Thoughts?

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Theres really nothing to it but to do it! You cant be afraid of rejection! Not everyone will be interested! At least you can feel good about yourself that you built the courage up to even approach someone! Try it and let us know how it goes!

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Simply say hello. Give her a few compliments ask her about herself to see if we are compatible and where her head at and also to see if we have anything in common. The conversation should jump off from there and if we're vibin then we'll flo from there.

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